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The Greater Tragedy

THE man whose daughter had just been united to the husband of her choice looked a little sad.

"I tell you, squire," he said to one of the wedding guests, a man of his own age, and himself the father of a number of unmarried girls, "I tell you, it is a solemn thing for us when our daughters marry and go away."

The squire assented, not altogether heartily. "I suppose it is," he conceded; "but I tell you, it is more solemn when they don't."Youth's Companion.

Why Didn't He Say So?

THE motorist emerged from beneath the car and struggled for breath. His helpful friend, holding the oil can, beamed upon him.

"I've just given the cylinder a thorough oiling, Dick, old man," said the helpful friend. "Cylinder!" said the motorist, heatedly, "that wasn't the cylinder; it was my ear!"

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All in One Class

WIFE "Can you remember the first cigar you ever smoked, John?"

HUSBAND "Yes, love; also my first sea voyage and our wedding day."

For All Time

MRS. HIGHUP-"The judge decreed that they should be separated, never to see each other again."

MRS. BLASE-"Are they?"

MRS. HIGHUP-"Yes. They are living next door to each other in a New York apartment house now."-Puck.

A Good Name Forever

"WE'VE just bought a Rembrandt." "How many cylinders?"-Boston Transcript.

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"How do you find the chicken soup tonight, Mr. Newcomb?" inquired the boarding house landlady.

"I have no difficulty in finding the soup, Mrs. Hasher," he replied, "but I am inclined to think the chicken will be able to prove an alibi."

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A Bad Egg

"HE always was a bad egg, but nobody seemed to notice it while he was rich."

"Yes, he was all right until he was broke."

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Two miners were returning from a lecture at the village Institute, when one of them after a thoughtful pause remarked:

"Say Bill, I don't see the necessity of bringing chaps from the East to teach us about manners in the home. We ain't so bad as that fellow made out."

"Of course we ain't," replied Bill.

"Not by a long shot," went on the first. "I never swears before my wife

"No more do I," put in Bill. "I always says 'Ladies first'-that's me.'

Oh, I Say, Now

SUITOR "I would like to see the photo of the lady with the $500,000 dowry."

MATRIMONIAL AGENT"We don't show photos with the large dowries."-Fliegende Blaetter.

K

Looking Ahead

"My dear," says the husband, as his wife comes to join him for a walk, attired in her hobble skirt, basket hat, and other things of the present mode, "I want you to come to the photographer's and have your picture made just as you are."

"Why, do you like me so well in this costume?" she beams.

"Well, my idea is that two years from now I can show you the picture, and you will say the things about it that I would like to say about your appearance just now."-Life.

She Knew

DOCTOR "Well, Mrs. Jones, did you test your husband's temperature, as I told you?"

Another One on Mother

TOMMY "The doctor brought the baby." FREDDY "It looks just like ma's been shopping by telephone again."

A Cook in Need

HUSBAND "Did the cook you hired show up?"

WIFE "No. Wasn't it fortunate? Another one rang our bell by mistake looking for Mrs. Gillet next door, and I've kept her instead.-Harper's Bazar.

MRS. JONES "Yes, doctor. I put the barometer on his chest, and it went round to 'very dry,' so I gave him a pint of beer, and he's been to work this morning."

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Odds in Her Favor

ANGRY MOTHER. "You've got an awful nerve to ask me to give you back your ball when you nearly killed one of my children with it."

Boy-"Well, mum, you've got ten children,

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His Money's Worth

"SIXTANE shilluns a da' did they charrge me for my room at the hotel in Lunnon!" roared Sandy, indignantly, on his return to Croburgh Burghs from a sight-seeing expedition.

"Ou, aye, it wasna cheap," agreed his father; "but ye must 'a' had a gey fine time seein' the sichts."

"Sein' the sichts!" roared Sandy. "I didna see a sicht a' the time I was in Lunnon, Mon, mon, ye dinna suppose I was going to be stuck that much for a room, an' then no get the proper use o't!"-Tit-Bits.

A Hint

HE "Do you think that your father would offer me personal violence if I were to ask him for you?"

SHE "No, but I think he will if you don't pretty soon."-The Watchman.

HUSBAND

dear?"

1

"You

are quite comfortable,

WIFE "Yes, love."

"The cushions are easy and soft?"

"Yes, darling."

"You don't feel any jolts?"

"No, sweetest."

"And there is no draft on my lamb, is there?"

"No, my ownest own."

"Then change seats with me."-Ideas.

A Clever Ruse

WIFE "Please match this piece of silk for me before you come home."

HUSBAND "At the counter where the sweet little blonde works? The one with the soulful eyes and

WIFE "No. You're too tired to shop for me when your day's work is done, dear. On second thought, I won't bother you."-Detroit News.

Imprudent

"SAY, old man, did I ever tell you about the awful fright I got on my wedding day?" "S-s-s-h, no man should speak that way

Eski

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ONCE DEATH TO EAT THIS FISH good to eat. It is called the "moa." So

A
MONG the reefs that skirt the shores
of the Hawaiian Islands are to be
found, at certain seasons, great numbers
of a little white fish which is exceedingly

great a delicacy is it, in truth, that in earlier days the fish was declared "tabu" to the commonalty, only the great chiefs being allowed to eat it, under penalty of death. But nowadays, hap

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CASTING THE NET FOR THE DELICIOUS HAWAIIAN MOA-A FOOD FOR KINGS.

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