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We All Know Him Once there was an old goat that tried to pass himself off for a sheep.

The watchful shepherd at once detected the imposture.

He killed the goat. But he sold the flesh for mutton.-Chicago Tribune.

“Oh, I am as old as I look," smiled Miss

mnood as I look" smiled Miss Dobbson.

"Really?” said Fribley. "I'm astonished. You really don't look it, you know.”Harper's Weekly.

Hard to Please "What is Bliggin's grievance against the railroad company?" "He has two grievances; one is that some of the trains don't stop at his station, and the other that after he gets on board the train loses time by stopping at other stations.”—Washington Star.

Usually So "I HAVE difficulty in satisfying my wife. She has a thousand wants."

“I have difficulty in satisfying mine, and she has only one want.”

“What is it?"
"Money.”Baltimore American.

The Only Joy There Was In It HE-Let us keep our engagement a secret for at least six months.

She-A secret? The only reason I got engaged to you was that I thought it would be nice to have my picture on the society page.

Chicago Record-Herald.

Justice at Last BREATHLESS URCHIN — “You're — wanted — dahn-our-court-and bring a hamb’lance."

POLICEMAN—“What do you want the ambulance for?"

URCHIN—“Muvver's found the lidy wot pinched our doormat!"-Punch.

Erratic Popular Taste "Young man," said the woman at the ticket office, "why don't you answer me when I ask you whether this is a moral and proper show ?"

"Because," answered the theater treasurer frankly, “I'm not a good enough judge of human nature to know which way to answer without losing a customer."—Washington Star.

Located ONE OF THE STRIKERS—"I've lost me best hat-pin, Lizzie !"

ANOTHER—“Where did vou leave it last?”

THE FIRST—"I left it sticking in that scab, Rachel Lispinsky!”Puck.


The Virtuoso on the Farm New BOARDER—"Haven't you got any fancy dishes here?”

RURAL LANDLORD—"Sure thing! Mame, bring the gentleman that mustache-cup your grand

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HOW TO HOLD AN ALLIGATOR crocodile, on the banks of the Nile and

also along the Ganges. These creatures A LLIGATOR catching is a strange live to a great age, many in the East

> occupation. The commercial value being known to be 500 years old, and of these strange reptiles is, of course, by the tremendous strength which they their skins, and for this reason quite a can exert when occasion calls for it, one small army of men hunt them regularly would imagine that the older they live not only in Florida but their cousins, the the stronger they grow. Besides an un



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usual amount of pluck and resource in BRICKS FROM VOLCANIC handling the alligator, one needs to have

LAVA a keen eye and a quick hand. To secure your animal you must grip it instantly A PLANT for the manufacture of and then keep its jaws closed. As one n bricks to be made of lava is now alligator catcher remarked, “to hold the being erected near Honolulu, Sandwich same jaws open would be an experience Islands, under the direction of J. Rice, gained too late to be of use." For the of San Francisco, Cal., and will be in alligator in its native land is not, as it readiness for active service within less appears to be, safely imprisoned at the than two months from date. zoo, a sleepy and slow-moving creature, It is the expectation of the promoters but very quick and lively in all its move to be able to contract with the United ments.

States government to furnish lava bricks

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TWO birds new to the eyes of Amer-

icans, are the curious pair of secre-
tary birds, male and female, received at
the New York Zoological Park, from
South Africa. These stately, long-legged
birds, with ashy grey plumage and tail
feathers two feet long, are the champion
snake killers of the world. The secre-
tary is really a hawk, adapted especially
for ground hunting. The male stands
four feet high, the greater part of this
being made up of legs and neck. The
bird gets its odd name from a crest of
long, dark plumes rising from the back
of the head, which gives it a fanciful re-
semblance to a clerk or secretary, having
a bunch of quill pens stuck behind his
ears. All the food of the secretary must
be alive, and two garter snakes, about a
foot or so in length, form a favorite
daily meal. When a snake is thrown on
the ground for the bird to eat the wiry
secretary does not fly upon the prey at
once but cautiously approaches the snake
with wings partly outspread so as to be
ready to escape any sudden lunge of the
enemy. The secretary slowly circles
around his antagonist, keeping well out
of danger; suddenly like a flash the sec-
retary raises one of his powerful feet,
with sharp talons, and strikes the snake
a hammer-like blow fairly on the head.

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A Natty New SUFFRA-


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The Secretary BIRD


THE only remarkable thing about this
1 photograph of a modern skyscraper
in Los Angeles is the fact that a struc-
tural iron worker recently fell from its
topmost girder to the roof of a one-story
building, a distance of one hundred feet,
and sustained practically no injuries. He
went almost through the roof of the
small building, but as this was very elas-
tic his fall was broken so that he re-
ceived only bruises and slight fractures
which disabled him but a few days.

A remarkable claim is made that a
recent rain had wetted the structure,
making it an unusually good conductor
of electricity and that contact with a live
wire had charged the whole frame.
While working on a scaffold the iron
worker touched the charged girder and
jumped back off the building.

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