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SATAN INFORMS GERMAN RULER HE HAS provinces that gave Germany an opportunity to be OUSTED ALL OTHER EVIL DOERS
come a naval power. Murder is dirty work, but it Louis Syberkrop of Creston has acquired much takes a Hohenzollern to make away and get by. fame in recent weeks as an author of a satire on
Your opportunity was at hand; you set the world Kaiser Wilhelm. Requests have come to him from
on fire and bells of hell were ringing; your rape Tumulty, Secretary Daniels and Roosevelt, and peo
on Belgium caused much joy, it was the beginning ple in every state of the Union and in Canada have
the foundation of a perfect hell on earth, the de asked for copies of Mr. Syberkrop's article. It is
struction of noble cathedrals and other infinite works as follows:
of art was hailed with great joy in the infernal re The Infernal Regions, June 28, 1917. gions. You made war on friends and foe alike and To Wilhelm von Hohenzollern, King of
the murder of civilians showed my teachings had · Prussia, Emperor of all Germany and
borne fruit. Your treachery toward neutral nations Envoy Extraordinary of Almighty God:
hastened a universal upheaval, the thing I most de My Dear Wilhelm:-
sired. Your undersea warfare is a master stroke, I can call you by that familiar name for I have al from the smallest mackrel pot to the great Lusitania ways been very close to you, much closer than you you showed no favorites; as a war lord you stand could ever know.
supreme, for you have no mercy; you have no conFrom the time that you were yet an undelveloped sideration for the baby clinging to its mother's being in your mother's womb. I have shaped your breast as they both go down into the deep together, destiny for my own purpose.
only to be torn apart and leisurely devoured by In the days of Rome I created a roughneck known sharks down among the corals. in history as Nero; he was a vulgar character and
I have strolled over the battlefields of Belgium suited my purpose at that particular time. In these and France. I have seen your hand of destruction modern days a classic demon and efficient super- everywhere; it's all your work, super-fiend that I criminal was needed and as I know the Hohenzollern made you, I have seen the fields of Poland; now a blood, I picked you as my special instrument to place wilderness fit for prowling beasts only; no merry on earth an annex of hell. I gave you abnormal children in Poland now; they all succumbed to frost ambition, likewise an over-supply of egotism that you and starvation—I drifted down into Galicia where might not discover your own failings; I twisted your formerly Jews and Gentiles lived happily together; mind to that of a mad man with certain normal I found but ruins and ashes; I felt a curious pride in tendencies to carry you by, a most dangerous char my pupil, for it was all above my expectation. I acter placed in power I gave you the power of a was in Belgium when you drove the peaceful popuhypnotist and a certain magnetic force that you might lation before you like cattle into slavery; you sepa. sway your people. I am responsible for the deformed rated man and wife and forced them to hard labor arm that hangs helpless on your left, for your crip- in trenches. I have seen the most fiendish rape pled condition embitters your life and destroys all committed on young women and those who were noble impulses that might otherwise cause me anx forced into maternity were cursing the father of their iety, but your strong sword arm is driven by your offspring and I began to doubt if my own inferno ambition that squelches all sentiment and piety; I was really up to date. placed in your soul a deep hatred for all things You have taken millions of dollars from innoEnglish, for of all nations on earth I hate England cent victims and called it indemnity; you have lived most; wherever England plants her flag she brings fat on the land you usurped and sent the real owners order out of chaos and the hated Cross follows the away to starvation. You have strayed away from all Union Jack; under her rule wild tribes become til- legalized war methods and introduced a code of your lers of the soil and in due time practical citizens; own. You have killed and robbed the people of friendshe is the great civilizer of the globe and I HATE ly nations and destroyed their property. You are & HER. I planted in your soul a cruel hatred for your liar, a hypocrite and a bluffer of the highest magnimother because SHE was English and left my good tude. You are a part of mine and yet you pose as a friend Bismarck to fan the flame I had kindled. personal friend of God. Ah, Wilhelm, you are a Recent history proves how well our work was done. wonder. You wantonly destroy all things in your It broke your royal mother's heart, but I gained my path and leave nothing for coming generations. purpose.
I was amazed when I saw you form a partner: The inherited disease of the Hohenzollerns killed ship with the impossible Turk, the chronic killer your father, just as it will kill you, and you became of Christians, and you a devout worshipper in the the ruler of Germany and a tool of mine sooner than Lutheran church. I confess, Wilhelm, you are a I expected.
puzzle at times. A Mohammedan army commanded To assist you and farther hasten my work, I sent by German officers, assisting one another in massa. you three evil spirits, Nietzsche, Treitschke and later creing Christians is a new line of warfare. When Bernhardi, whose teachings inflamed the youths of a Prussian officer can witness a nude woman being Germany, who in good time would be willing and disemboweled by a swarthy Turk, committing a loyal subjects and eager to spill their blood and pull double murder with one cut of his saber, and calmly your chestnuts, yours and mine; the spell has been stand by and see a house full of innocent Armenians perfect—you cast your ambitious eyes toward the locked up, the house saturated with oil and fired, Mediterranean, Egypt, India and the Dardanelles, then my teachings did not stop with you, but have and you began your great railway to Bagdad, but the been extended to the whole German nation. I conambitious archduke and his more ambitious wife fess my satanic soul grew sick and there and then stood in your way. It was then that I sowed the seed I knew the pupil had become the master. I am a in your heart that blossomed into the assassination back number, and, my dear Wilhelm, I abdicate in of the duke and his wife, and all hell smiled when your favor. The great key of hell will be turned it saw how cleverly you saddled the crime on to over to you. The gavel that has struck the doom Serbia. I saw you set sails for the fjords of Norway of damned souls since time began is yours. I am and I knew you would prove an alibi. How cleverly satisfied with what I have done; that my abdication done, so much like your noble grandfather, who also in your favor is for the very best interests of hell secured an assassin to remove old King Frederick in the future I am at your majesty's service. Af of Denmark, and later robbed that country of two fectionately and sincerely, Lucifer H. Satan.
HE WILLOWS MATERNITY SANITARIUM is a modern and up-to-date Sanitarium and Hospital devoted to the seclusion and care of unfortunate young women. It offers to the
medical fraternity an ethical and Christian solution to one of the difficult problems of the profession. The Sanitarium extends to these young women protection and seclusion in congenial and home-like surroundings before confinement, as well as providing efficient medica and hospital care during delivery and convalescence.
The Willows has been located, planned and especially equipped for seclusion maternity work. It is strictly modern, having steam heat, electric lights, gas and baths with hot and cold water. The patients' rooms are light, airy and furnished for home-like comfort as well as hospital convenience. The dining service has been especially planned for the work and wholesome, nourishing and well cooked meals are served.
The Hospital equipment is complete and modern, having been installed for this particular work. It includes two specially fitted Confinement Chambers, sterilizing rooms, massage room, diet kitchen and necessary drug and linen rooms.
'The Sanitarium is open to any reputable physician to handle his own high-grade cases in it. When the physician is not accessible to The Willows or finds it otherwise impractical to care for his case, Dr. John W. Kepner, House Obstetrician, will handle it. The mothers and babies are attended by a corps of efficient, specially trained nurses.
Entering early in gestation is important for preparing the patient for accouchement through systematic, hygienic methods and massage. Patients may enter as early as they desire. A special system of abdominal and perineal massage has been devised and has proven very successful in the prevention of Striae Gravidarum and as an aid to labor.
The care of the babies is one of the important features of The Willows' work. The Nursery is modernly equipped and no reasonable expense is spared in the babies' care. When such arrangements are made the institution assumes the entire responsibility of the child, keeping it until a good home can be found where the child will be legally adopted.
The willows Maternity Sanitarium has accommodations meeting the requirements of the most fastidious as well as others for those patients whose means are limited. But, notwithtanding the many advantages of its services, the charges are reasonable.
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Peace Nineteen hundred years ago, Came a message sweet and low. O'er an infant's humble birth, Fell a new strain to the earth. Angels sang the chorus then, “Peace on earth, good will to men."
White Mice Will Be Drafted by U. S. to Battle Pneu
monia New Orleans, La., Dec. 29.—All white mice in the country are to be commandeered for government purposes if plans of the Red Cross announced here are adopted. It is purposed to use the rodents in a medicinal way to fight pneumonia in cantonments.United Press Wire in K. C. Post.
Since that dim and distant time
In this later, brighter day,
It will come! 'Tis not a dream, Through the darkness shines a gleam. 'Tis a glimpse, a prophecy of the years that are to be. Of the new time come to birth; Of the dawn of peace on earth.
Neutral Sodium Soap For some time Dr. Alexis Carrel has been using, in the War Demonstration Hospital of the Rockefeller Institute, for the cleansing of wounds a liquid sodium soap-a neutral sodium oleate. This has been employed with most satisfactory results. This soap is used to scrub out an infected wound. A little of it is applied to a pledget of cotton, held with a dressing forceps, and the wound scrubbed with it, more soap being applied to the cotton from time to time until there is a good lather. The wound is scrubbed in this way from the center to the periphery, the soap finally being washed away with water, after which the indicated antiseptic is applied, as, for instance, Chlorazene Surgical Cream. Neutral Sodium Soap, prepared to meet Doctor Carrel's indications, has been placed on the market by The Abbott Laboratories, Chicago, and is now offered to the medical profession. This firm is also prepared to supply Chlorcosane, the new simple solvent for Dichloramine-T, recently introduced by Drs. Dakin and Dunham. This is free from taste or odor, and is nonirritant, making a solution which is more stable than has heretofore been obtainable, and requiring no admixture or dilution with other substances.
Nineteen hundred years ago
A Profitable Investment - Attention is called to the announcement in this issue of the Mason Oil and Gas Company whose wells are located in the Paola Miami County, Kansas, field. The men who are in Terested in this company are well known and have Wide experience in oil business. The company is ncorporated under the laws of Kansas and Missouri ind authorized by the Missouri Bank Commissioner o sell stock, all of which is common, fully paid and lon-assessable. Physicians who are interested in a afe investment are invited to write to the company or full particulars. Mason Oil and Gas Company, carritt Bldg., Kansas City, Missouri.
Economics of Nutrition—In cases where intensive eeding of an organism debilitated by disease or inury is called for, the requirements are, that the food hat is administered should possess a high caloric Talue, be easily digested, and fully assimilated. It hould contain the essential food elements in proper Toportions and should be palatable. Finally, it is esirable, for ease of administration, that such a food le in soluble form, and also that it be aconomical. All hese conditions are complied with in Ovaltine, marleted by The Wander Co., Dept. 10, 23 N. Franklin st., Chicago, a food preparation which, in addition to ure malt extract and milk, contains eggs scientific Uly prepared in their natural raw state. The caloric alue of this preparation is about three times that of beef quantity for quantity. It is far superior to that I any of its constituents separately, and the nutrilive value of the preparation is being attested by medical officers of the British, French, and Russian armies. The Wander Company has published an interesting booklet entitled, "The Economics of Nutri. tion," which will be sent on request.
The Great American Habit-"The great American habit" said a prominent physician. a short time ago, “is neither rapid eating, nor dining too wisely and well.' These are evils, to be sure, but the one great habit to which most Americans are addicted is the routine use of laxatives and cathartics. Is it any wonder some European doctor has said we are a nation of constipationists! Why, physic has become only a little less necessary than the oxygen we breathe." How true all this is, most physicians of broad experience will readily agree. Physic the first thing in the morning, physic before or after each meal, and physic the last thing at night! And only one purpose throughout, to move the bowels. Never a thought in regard to regulating them. This is the pity of the whole situation, for instead of getting relief and correcting constipation, the average person is simply becoming more and more a slave to the cathartic habit. To a certain extent this is not surprising for the great majority of remedies are simply "movers" not "regulators." It was recognition of this fact that led to the preparation of Prunoids. Here is a remedy that is much more than a physic. Used as the physician's judgment will dictate, according to the needs of each patient, Prunoids will not only move the bowels satisfactorily without the least griping or disagreeable effect but will so stimulate the physiologic processes of the intestinal tract that evacuations will become natural and regular. It is the notable efficacy of Prunoids in correcting intestinal torpidity and restoring functional activity of the bowels that has led so many physicians to prefer this remedy to all others for the relief and permanent correction of chronic constipation. They have learned that the use of Prunoids offers a means not alone of correcting constipation, but what is especially gratifying, of curing "the great American habit."
bottles; six-grain capsules, bottles of fifty; Vaginal Suppositories of silvol, 5 per cent., boxes of one dozen; silvol ointment, 5 per cent., collapsible longnozzled tubes, two sizes; silvol bougies, 5 per cent., boxes of 25 and 100.
Illumined Insert-The enterprising firm of Eli Lilly & Co., has an attractive four-page insert in this issue, to which we call our readers attention. You will be repaid for your time if you read each
Silvol: a Useful Germicide—The signal property of silvol is its germicidal and non-irritating effect on inflamed and infected mucous membranes. This notable proteid-silver compound contains approximately 20 per cent. of metallic silver. It is nontoxic. It is freely soluble in water, and its solutions do not require filtration. It does not coagulate albumin, and it is not precipitated by proteids or alkalies. It stains less than other proteid-silver combinations. Silvol may be used in the treatment of infected and inflamed mucous membranes in strengths ranging from 2 to 50 per cent. It has been suggested that the addition of a small proportion of glycerin to silvol solutions will prevent them from spreading too freely over the surfaces to which they are applied; that the glycerinized solution forms a thin film over the surface that does not immediately dry off. In other words the glycerin “holds" the silvol to the spot. Silvol has been successfully used in the treatment of nasal and pharyngeal inflammations, both acute and chronic. One practitioner reports his experience with a 20-per cent solution of silvol in over five hundred cases of various nasal, laryngeal and ear diseases. The solution was used either as a spray, instillation, or topical application. An eastern specialist reports gratifying success with silvol in the treatment of twenty-five cases of antral infection. The treatment consisted in first irrigating the sinus with normal salt solution, then injecting it as nearly full as possible with a 10-per cent solution of silvol, repeating daily. Usually the cases cleared up in less than a week, often within three or four days. Another writer observed most striking results in tracheitis and bronchial asthma. In these cases a 10 per cent solution was applied twice a week. A prominent urologist reports the successful use of silvol in one hundred cases of posterior urethritis, gonorrheal in origin. A 10 per cent solution was applied, once a day, to the posterior urethra with an Ultzmann syringe, and each patient received a supply of the same solution for home use, to be applied two or three times a day. Results from the use of silvol in the treatment of eye diseases are highly favorable. A well known ophthalmologist says: "My clinical observations of silvol evidenced to me that in all forms of acute conjunctivitis, acute epidemic to acute gonorrheal, this product is a powerful bactericide, apparently absolutely non-irritating; even in a solution of 50 per cent used as frequently as every fifteen minutes,
intes day and night, for a period of three days.” An experienced surgeon makes the assertion that silvol is a better application in ophthalmia of the new-born than silver-nitrate. It can be used with less risk and the writer thinks he can control any case with it. Silvol is supplied in the following forms: Ounce
Malt Nutrine is a Preparation of Malt-That is to say, barley treated with pure filtered water, and hops which is a so-called bitter tonic of ancient and established reputation. Owing to its composition, its freedom from impurities or irritating substances, and its remarkably low alcohol contents (1.9 per cent), Malt Nutrine presents a liquid food that is as efficacious as it is pleasant. The idea of employing barley and hops for supplying strength to the feeble and for increasing the strength of the strong is one of great antiquity, yet one that has hardly been superseded by any other food tonic in the peculiar conditions for which it is particularly applicable. Malt Nutrine has been found a galactogog of great merit, and also it is a reconstructive in convalescence from acute and wasting diseases. In short, it may be put to a large variety of uses in all of which it is dependable. For particulars write to Anheuser-Busch, of St. Louis.
Seasonable Logic-In disposing of fluids accumulated in the tissues, the rational idea is, to administer such agents as exert diuretic properties and also act as a cardiac stimulant increasing the heart force. In the combination known as Anedemin the physician has at his command a powerful agent which serves this double purpose. Under the administration of Anedemin the kidney action is generally increased while the cardiac muscle is subjected to a definite and lasting augmentation of tone. This therapeutic combination enables the water-logged tissues to free themselves of the accumulated fluids, if this be at all possible, and reduces to a minimum the possibility of recurrence of the dropsical condition. A marked advantage of Anedemin is, the absence of cumulative effect. Thus it can be pushed for effect and this be maintained. Elsewhere in this issue the advertisement of Anedemin appears giving a more detailed explanation of the product. Anedemin Chemical Co., manufacturers, solicit test by physicians and mail without any cost on request a liberal quantity of Anedemin tablets free. Their address is Chattanooga, Tenn.
Barbers' itch: In obstinate cases the x-ray or cataphoresis with 1 to 2 per cent aqueous iodine solution is used.-0. L. Levin, Med. Rec.