THE RIGHT SORT OF DOG

Two Scotch ministers of neighboring Scotch parishes exchanged pulpits one Sunday. After the service, one of the exchanging ministers said to the beadle: "George, I hope the people will not think my sermon was too short to-day." "A' dinna think they will, sir; but I make bold to ask why ye're inquiring ?”

Well, I selected a sermon and laid it on a chair in my study. I have a dog which frequents the study very much. It got hold of the sermon, tore off the last four leaves and destroyed them. But I thought since I had chosen it I would just preach what remained of it."

Quick as thought George asked:

"Oh, sir, could ye no get oor minister a pup o' that sort ?"

SUBTLETY

William MacDonald, a youthful Scotchman, was seriously in love, but to arrive at the point of proposing marriage to the fair one of his choice was too much for his sensitive soul. Finally, after many hours of deliberation, he hit upon a plan.

It was a moonlight, starry night, and he led the maiden of his heart to a churchyard, and, pointing to the various headstones, said:

"Allie, my folks are buried there. Wad ye like to be buried there, too?"

ASSORTED LETTERS

In a provincial town a young damsel called at the post-office, and bashfully inquired if there was a letter addressed to A. B., 10. "Business or love letter?" said the clerk, by way of a joke. Her face turned crimson as she replied,

Business letter!" As the letter was not to be found, the young woman went away, but returned shortly afterward, tapped at the window, and said in faltering accents, "Oh, sir, would you mind just having a look among the other letters ?"

POLITICAL WISDOM

In Colorado, the women vote as well as the men.

In the fall of 1910 a man named Smith was running for sheriff against a man named Jones. One evening just before election Smith rode up to the barn-yard of an old farmer. The farmer was milking a cow and was having difficulty with a lusty calf that continually tried to " butt in." The candidate, to gain the favor of the farmer, took the calf between his legs and held it until the milking was done. He then introduced himself: "I am Mr. Smith, the Republican candidate for sheriff of the county. I suppose you know the man who's running against me."

The farmer's eyes twinkled as he slowly drawled: "Wall, I reckon I do. He's in the house now, holding the baby."

How HE BEAT THE RAILROAD

An Irishman riding on a railroad train looked so greatly pleased that he was asked what amused him so much.

"Sure," he said, "I've been riding over this road for tin years, and to-day's the first time I ever got ahead of it."

"How did you do it this time?" he was asked.

Slapping his knees with evident satisfaction he replied:

"I bought a round-trip ticket and, begorra, I ain't goin' back.'

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