HE COULD TAKE HIS CHOICE

A house-hunter, getting off a train at a suburban station, said to a boy standing near:

"My boy, I am looking for Mr. Smith's new block of semi-detached houses. How far are they from here?"

"About twenty minutes' walk," said the boy.

"Twenty minutes!" exclaimed the house-hunter. "Nonsense! The ad

vertisement said five."

"Well," replied the boy, "yer kin believe me or the advertisement, which

ever yer want.

But I ain't tryin' to

make no sale."

IT WOULD SEEM SO

The lesson was in natural history, and the new teacher had chosen the interesting but complex subject of the cat.

"Now, children," she said, "tell me what sort of clothes pussy wears." No reply.

"Come, come!" said she, determined, to extract the right answer by naming everything that pussy didn't wear; "does she wear feathers ?"

A pained expression crossed the face of a little boy in the front row.

66

Please, ma'am," he asked pityingly, " ain't you never seen a cat ?"

A FAITHFUL SERVITOR

The teacher wanted some plums in order to give an object lesson during school hours, and, calling one of the small boys, she gave him ten cents and dispatched him to the fruit stand down on the corner.

"Before you buy the plums, Willie," she cautioned, "you had better pinch one or two to make sure they are ripe."

Little Willie flitted away. Soon he came back and smilingly put the bag on the teacher's desk.

Oh, thank you, Willie," said the teacher, taking up the bag. "Did you pinch one or two as I told you to do?"

"Did I?" was the gleeful response. "I pinched the whole bagful and here's your ten cents."

ร

RURAL POST-OFFICE

One day a young farmer drove to town and wound up at the village post

office.

"Hello, Seth!" said he. thing here for me?"

"Got any

"Don't see nothin', Jake," rather indifferently replied the postmaster. "Was ye expectin' somethin'?"

Yes," answered the farmer, "I was expectin' a postal card from my Aunt Jinny tellin' me what day she was comin' down."

Hanner," called the postmaster to his wife," have ye seen anything of a postal card from Jake Leed's Aunt Jinny ?" Yes," was the prompt reply of the postmaster's wife. "She is comin' down

on Thursday."

HAD BETTER GIVEN

Tight, who had money to burn but was apparently afraid of fire, happened in a church one day when a collection was being taken for foreign missions. Eventually the collector reached Tight, but Tight didn't make any motions like producing beautiful coin.

"Pardon me," said the collector, placing the box before Tight, "we are taking a collection for foreign missions. Wouldn't you like to add a little to the amount?"

No, sir!" was the decisive rejoinder of Tight. "I never give to foreign mis

sions.'

"

"Then take a little out of the box," softly responded the collector. "The money is for the benefit of the heathen."