WHY HE WEPT

He was a hard-looking ruffian, but his counsel, in a voice husky with emotion, addressed the jury.

"Gentlemen," said he, "my client was driven by want of food to take the small sum of money. All that he wanted was sufficient money to buy food for his little ones. Evidence of this lies in the fact, that he didn't take a pocketbook, containing fifty dollars in bills, that was lying in the room."

The counsel paused for a moment, and the silence was interrupted by a sob of the prisoner.

"Why do you weep?" asked the Judge.

"Because," replied the prisoner, "I didn't see the pocketbook."

A CHEERFUL PROSPECT

They had just become engaged.

"What joy it will be," she exclaimed, "for me to share all your griefs and sorrows!"

"But, darling," he protested, "I have none."

"No," she answered, "but you will have, when we are married.”

A PEEVING DELAY

The operation had been performed and the patient prepared for burial.

"I cannot understand," said the family physician soothingly, "how Ben was able to live with such an affliction as he had." "Yes, we have been years," replied the sorrowing widow, "trying to persuade him to have the operation.'

"

A CONNOISSEUR OF WORKS

"Perhaps you are familiar with the works of Ingersoll?" smilingly inquired the book-salesman, as he reached under his coat for the sample bindings.

"Sure I am," replied Mr. Goldberg, the jeweler; "undt it's a good vatch for der money!"

1

UP TO HIS EARS

A small negro boy went to a physician to be treated for a painful sensation in one of his ears. The doctor examined and found the ear was full of water.

"How did this happen?" he asked after he had drained the ear; "been going in swimming?"

"Naw, suh," said the little fellow, "been eatin' watermelon!"