NOT WHAT SHE THOUGHT IT WAS

The woman came cautiously up to the librarian in the big library and asked in low tones if she could get a book about David's Harem.

"Oh, yes," said the librarian, "we have a number of copies of David Harum.'"

Hush," whispered the inquirer, so loud."

"not

AN ACCOMPLISHED COW

According to this advertisement in a Connecticut country paper there is a cow in New England which is possessed of rare accomplishments:

Wanted A steady, respectable young man to look after a garden and care for a cow who has a good voice and is accustomed to sing in the choir.

A LIGHTNING CHANGE

A Chicago banker was dictating a letter to his stenographer.

"Tell Mr.

Soandso," he ordered, "that I will meet

him in Schenectady."

"How do you spell Schenectady ?”

asked the stenographer.

"S-c, S-c-er-er-er

I'll meet him in Albany."

Tell him

THE WORTH OF AN ANTIQUE

An old lady was searching in the dim bric-à-brac shop for something odd to take home with her. Finally she noticed a quaint figure, the head and shoulders of which appeared above the counter at the farthest end of the room. She turned to the clerk and said: "What's that queer old Japanese idol over there worth?"

The clerk answered in a subdued tone: "About fifty thousand dollars, ma'am. That's the proprietor."

A ROMANTIC SIMILE

They were walking out together on a cloudless night under the light of the big round moon, which seemed unusually bright and beautiful. Suddenly he stopped, clasped his hands, and cried, rapturously:

"Oh, Mary! Look at the moon tonight. Isn't it beautiful-magnificent ?" "Yes, ain't it, William?" she replied, with equal enthusiasm. "It looks just like a big fried egg, don't it?"