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IT SOUNDED LIKE IT

"Jane," said Bobby at the breakfasttable, "did Mr. Julius take any of the umbrellas or hats from the rack when he went home last night?'

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Why, of course not, Bobby," laughed Jane; "why should he?"

"That's just what I'd like to know,' said Bobby," because when he went out I heard him say: I'm going to steal just one' and. Why, what's the matter, Jane?"

OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES

A clergyman famous for his begging abilities was once catechizing a Sundayschool. When comparing himself as pastor of the church to a shepherd, and his congregation to the sheep, he put the following question to the children: "What does the shepherd do for the sheep?"

To the confusion of the minister a small boy in the front row piped out: "Shears them!"

IT WASN'T LIKE SARGENT AFTER ALL

Once when John S. Sargent, the famous painter, was at a banquet a young lady whom he knew very well said to him: "Oh, Mr. Sargent, I saw your latest painting and kissed it because it was so much like you."

"And did it kiss you in return ?” Why, no."

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"Then," said Mr. Sargent, "it was not like me."

WHAT HE WOULD DO

The man hurried into a quick-lunch restaurant and called to the waiter :

"Give me a ham sandwich."

"Yessir," said the waiter.

"Will you

eat it here or take it with you?" "Both," said the patron.

FAITH MISPLACED

Mrs. Evans was making a call on Mrs. Francis, and they were enjoying a chat about some of their neighbors.

"Mrs. Greene," said the hostess, "is a woman who suffers much for her belief." "Indeed," replied the caller wonderingly," and what is her belief?"

"Why," continued the hostess," she believes she can wear a number three shoe on a number six foot."