IN THEIR STEPS

"Look here, now, Harold," said a father to his little son, who was naughty, if you don't say your prayers you won't go to Heaven.'

"

"I don't want to go to Heaven," sobbed the boy; "I want to go with you and mother."

WHY HE WOULDN'T

An Irishman and a Scotchman were walking down the street together, and the Irishman told a rather impossible story.

"Hoot, mon, hoot," said the Scotch

man.

"Hoot yersilf," responded the Irish man, "Oi'm no owl."

Too BUSINESSLIKE

"I seem to remember that girl. Who is she?"

"She was my typewriter last year." "She's charming! Why did she leave you?"

"She was too conscientious for me. One day I proposed marriage to her, and what do you think she did? She took all that I said down in short hand and brought it, nicely typewritten, for me to sign!"

IT SOUNDED LIKE IT

Jane," said Bobby at the breakfasttable, "did Mr. Julius take any of the umbrellas or hats from the rack when he went home last night?'

46

Why, of course not, Bobby," laughed Jane; "why should he?"

"That's just what I'd like to know," said Bobby," because when he went out I heard him say: I'm going to steal just Why, what's the matter,

one' and Jane?"

OUT OF THE MOUTH OF Babes

A clergyman famous for his begging abilities was once catechizing a Sundayschool. When comparing himself as pastor of the church to a shepherd, and his congregation to the sheep, he put the following question to the children: "What does the shepherd do for the sheep?"

To the confusion of the minister a small boy in the front row piped out: "Shears them!"