Shear Nonsense: A Collection of Mirth-provoking Stories for All OccasionsG.W. Jacobs & Company, 1914 - 240 pages |
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Results 1-5 of 15
Page 8
... a word out of him , except your May we say to him , with a view to his immediate recovery , that we have your check , as we think that is what is on his mind . " name . ૨૬ HE KNEW WHERE IT WAS A gentleman who was 8 SHEAR NONSENSE.
... a word out of him , except your May we say to him , with a view to his immediate recovery , that we have your check , as we think that is what is on his mind . " name . ૨૬ HE KNEW WHERE IT WAS A gentleman who was 8 SHEAR NONSENSE.
Page 9
A Collection of Mirth-provoking Stories for All Occasions. ૨૬ HE KNEW WHERE IT WAS A gentleman who was continually los- ing his collar - button while dressing com- plained to his wife about it . With an ingenuity born of the use of ...
A Collection of Mirth-provoking Stories for All Occasions. ૨૬ HE KNEW WHERE IT WAS A gentleman who was continually los- ing his collar - button while dressing com- plained to his wife about it . With an ingenuity born of the use of ...
Page 18
... knew nothing about it . But one old timer , to whom Van Ness applied for a position , had the efficiency germ in him , too . Van Ness , answering a want ad , said proudly to the old timer : " My great - great - grandfather was Pa- troon ...
... knew nothing about it . But one old timer , to whom Van Ness applied for a position , had the efficiency germ in him , too . Van Ness , answering a want ad , said proudly to the old timer : " My great - great - grandfather was Pa- troon ...
Page 36
... knew it Mike had him in his hod and was going up the ladder . When he got to the fourth story his foot slipped and he almost fell . He regained his footing , however , and reached the fifth story in triumph . " Oi won ! " he said ...
... knew it Mike had him in his hod and was going up the ladder . When he got to the fourth story his foot slipped and he almost fell . He regained his footing , however , and reached the fifth story in triumph . " Oi won ! " he said ...
Page 42
... said : " Count slowly . " Next thing he knew he woke to hear the woman counting faintly : " Ten thousand and forty - seven - ten thousand and forty - eight- STARTLING A lady , while walking through a coun- try 42 SHEAR NONSENSE.
... said : " Count slowly . " Next thing he knew he woke to hear the woman counting faintly : " Ten thousand and forty - seven - ten thousand and forty - eight- STARTLING A lady , while walking through a coun- try 42 SHEAR NONSENSE.
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Popular passages
Page 65 - little fib." ANITA — "A fib is the same as a story, and a story is the same as a lie." NELLY— "No, it is not." ANITA — "Yes, it is, because my father said so, and my father is a professor at the university.
Page 29 - We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done.
Page 64 - A traveler in Indiana noticed that a farmer was having trouble with his horse. It would start, go slowly for a short distance, and then stop again. Thereupon the farmer would have great difficulty in getting it started. Finally the traveler approached and asked, solicitously: "Is your horse sick?
Page 103 - Worth, asked to tell in his own way how the accident happened, said : "Well, Ole and I was walking down the track, and I heard a whistle, and I got off the track, and the train went by, and I got back on the track, and I didn't see Ole; but I walked along, and pretty soon I seen Ole's hat, and I walked on, and seen one of Ole's legs, and then I seen one of Ole's arms and then another leg, and then over one side Ole's head, and I says, 'My God ! Something muster happen to Ole...
Page 32 - does a bride invariably desire to be clothed in white at her marriage?" As no one answered, he explained. "White," said he, "stands for joy, and the wedding-day is the most joyous occasion of a woman's life.
Page 131 - Works had to lay off an argumentative Irishman named Pat, so he saved discussion by putting the discharge in writing. The next day Pat was missing, but a week later the boss was passing through the shop and he saw him again at his lathe. Going up to the Irishman, he demanded fiercely: "Didn't you get my letter?
Page 83 - A certain prominent lawyer of Toronto is in the habit of lecturing his office staff from the junior partner down, and Tommy, the office boy, comes in for his full share of the admonition. That his words were appreciated was made evident to the lawyer by a conversation between Tommy and another office boy on the same floor which he recently overheard. "Wotcher wages?" asked the other boy. "Ten thousand a year,
Page 140 - There was a man named Elijah. He had some bears and lived in a cave. Some boys tormented him. He said, 'If you keep on throwing stones at me, I'll turn the bears on you, and they will eat you up.' And they did, and he did, and the bears did.
Page 133 - Rest in Peace" on both sides, and if there is room, "We Shall Meet in Heaven.
Page 128 - you had better pinch one or two to make sure they are ripe." Little Willie flitted away. Soon he came back and smilingly put the bag on the teacher's desk. "Oh, thank you, Willie," said the teacher, taking up the bag. 'Did you pinch one or two as I told you to do?" "Did I?" was the gleeful response. "I pinched the whole bagful and here's your ten cents.