Shear Nonsense: A Collection of Mirth-provoking Stories for All OccasionsG.W. Jacobs & Company, 1914 - 240 pages |
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Results 1-5 of 12
Page 30
... turned out a crowd to see the dismal per- formance . It was too good to be true . After the first act Goodwin sought out the stage manager and said : " On the level , are those real people out here ? " " " Certainly , a whole lot of ...
... turned out a crowd to see the dismal per- formance . It was too good to be true . After the first act Goodwin sought out the stage manager and said : " On the level , are those real people out here ? " " " Certainly , a whole lot of ...
Page 43
... to the song of the cricket . " What beautiful singing , " said the lady . " Yes , " said the naturalist . " They do it by rubbing their hind legs together . " IF HE WERE NOT An English clergyman turned to a 43 SHEAR NONSENSE.
... to the song of the cricket . " What beautiful singing , " said the lady . " Yes , " said the naturalist . " They do it by rubbing their hind legs together . " IF HE WERE NOT An English clergyman turned to a 43 SHEAR NONSENSE.
Page 44
... turned to a Scotchman and asked him : " What would you be were you not a Scot ? " The Scotchman said : “ Why , an Eng- lishman , of course ! " Then the clergyman turned to a gentle- man from Ireland and asked him : “ And what would you ...
... turned to a Scotchman and asked him : " What would you be were you not a Scot ? " The Scotchman said : “ Why , an Eng- lishman , of course ! " Then the clergyman turned to a gentle- man from Ireland and asked him : “ And what would you ...
Page 75
... turned in surprise to his daughter . " What's the matter with that young fellow ? I wanted him to tell me the time so I could set my watch . " PUNCTUATION MARKS Returning from school the other after- noon , 75 SHEAR NONSENSE.
... turned in surprise to his daughter . " What's the matter with that young fellow ? I wanted him to tell me the time so I could set my watch . " PUNCTUATION MARKS Returning from school the other after- noon , 75 SHEAR NONSENSE.
Page 89
... turned , and , in a disgusted tone , remarked : " You have no right to smoke here . " " These seats are resarved for smoking , madam , " replied Mike . The lady slowly turned her head again and said : " If you were my husband I would ...
... turned , and , in a disgusted tone , remarked : " You have no right to smoke here . " " These seats are resarved for smoking , madam , " replied Mike . The lady slowly turned her head again and said : " If you were my husband I would ...
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Shear Nonsense: A Collection of Mirth-Provoking Stories for All Occasions Anonymous No preview available - 2015 |
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Popular passages
Page 65 - little fib." ANITA — "A fib is the same as a story, and a story is the same as a lie." NELLY— "No, it is not." ANITA — "Yes, it is, because my father said so, and my father is a professor at the university.
Page 29 - We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done.
Page 64 - A traveler in Indiana noticed that a farmer was having trouble with his horse. It would start, go slowly for a short distance, and then stop again. Thereupon the farmer would have great difficulty in getting it started. Finally the traveler approached and asked, solicitously: "Is your horse sick?
Page 103 - Worth, asked to tell in his own way how the accident happened, said : "Well, Ole and I was walking down the track, and I heard a whistle, and I got off the track, and the train went by, and I got back on the track, and I didn't see Ole; but I walked along, and pretty soon I seen Ole's hat, and I walked on, and seen one of Ole's legs, and then I seen one of Ole's arms and then another leg, and then over one side Ole's head, and I says, 'My God ! Something muster happen to Ole...
Page 32 - does a bride invariably desire to be clothed in white at her marriage?" As no one answered, he explained. "White," said he, "stands for joy, and the wedding-day is the most joyous occasion of a woman's life.
Page 131 - Works had to lay off an argumentative Irishman named Pat, so he saved discussion by putting the discharge in writing. The next day Pat was missing, but a week later the boss was passing through the shop and he saw him again at his lathe. Going up to the Irishman, he demanded fiercely: "Didn't you get my letter?
Page 83 - A certain prominent lawyer of Toronto is in the habit of lecturing his office staff from the junior partner down, and Tommy, the office boy, comes in for his full share of the admonition. That his words were appreciated was made evident to the lawyer by a conversation between Tommy and another office boy on the same floor which he recently overheard. "Wotcher wages?" asked the other boy. "Ten thousand a year,
Page 140 - There was a man named Elijah. He had some bears and lived in a cave. Some boys tormented him. He said, 'If you keep on throwing stones at me, I'll turn the bears on you, and they will eat you up.' And they did, and he did, and the bears did.
Page 133 - Rest in Peace" on both sides, and if there is room, "We Shall Meet in Heaven.
Page 128 - you had better pinch one or two to make sure they are ripe." Little Willie flitted away. Soon he came back and smilingly put the bag on the teacher's desk. "Oh, thank you, Willie," said the teacher, taking up the bag. 'Did you pinch one or two as I told you to do?" "Did I?" was the gleeful response. "I pinched the whole bagful and here's your ten cents.