Dodd. Another husher! Good gracious! It seems as if my house was full of adders.

Blimber. [Mysteriously.] You don't know me.

Dodd. Mysterious being! You are right; I do not.
Blimber. It's all right.

Dodd. Oh! it is?

Blimber. I'm a detective.

Dodd. O Lordy! [Tumbles faintly against him.]
Blimber. Why, what's the matter?

Dodd. Nothing. He isn't here; I assure you he isn't.
Blimber. He? Who? Ah!

Dodd. Nobody. I nearly let it out. [Aside.]
Blimber. Oh! Well, then, you must know that I have re-
ceived information- Ah! somebody comes! Don't be-
tray me, as you value your safety. [Exit, R. c.]
Dodd. No, I won't. [Groans despairingly. Isn't this a
beautiful situation for a quiet, conservative man? Talk about
a man's house being his castle-rubbish! it's his prison.
Look at me! Here have I got a bloodthirsty Southerner in
one room, and a detective officer, equally unwelcome, in the
other. If I betray the Southerner I shall become the victim
of the assassin; if I don't, and he is found concealed here, I
shall be arrested as an accomplice. I am lost, unless one
more effort to escape― [Going, L.]

Rack. Sh-sh!

Enter RACKETT, L.

Dodd. [Wildly.] Oh! it's of no use. I resign myself to my fate. Yes, I know you. Sh-sh! It's all right! I'm here! Don't mind me! Grand Master! It! All right! Some one is coming! Yankee bones to the hilt! [Punching Rackett, then making the mill-motion fantastically.] Ha ha ha!

Rack. Hold! sh-sh! Silence, for your life! [Seizing D's arm and taking him to extreme R.] Are we alone? Dodd. [Bawling.] Y-e-s! Confound it! can't you see we are?

Blimber. [Putting his head out of the door, R.] Sh―sh! [Exit.

Rack. What's that?

Dodd. There's the detective! I'm lost! Doddlewobble! prepare yourself for tar.

Rack. [Hurrying him to extreme L.] We are brothers.
Fudgit. [From door, L.] Sh-sh!

Rack. Again, that sound!

[Excit.

Dodd. Oh, it's nothing! Nothing but the cockroaches

coughing! [Aside.] It's the bloodthirsty rascal; what shall I do? I can feel the feathers cropping out all over me? Rack. [Crosses R.] Sh-sh! Take this and prepare. [Places a large bowie knife in D's hand.] This evening, all will be settled. You have been chosen as the boldest of our band. Behold a list of the proscribed! [Gives a paper.]

Dodd. [Takes it nervously and reads.] Mayor Wood-A. A. Low-S. B. Chittenden-M. F. Odell! Gracious heavens! these are our very first citizens!

Rack. [Solemnly.] Ere yonder sun shall rise once more, those "very first citizens" must welter in their gore! Strike home! Strike deep! sh-sh! we must be cautious. [Going to door, R. c.]

Dodd. [Running after him.] No, no; not there! Here! [Takes him by the collar and thrusts him into door, L. C., with Fudgit; kicking him as he goes.] Now, what is to prevent my committing a justifiable homicide on the persons of these miscreants? I am growing desperate. This has got to end somewhere; it can't go on forever! Ha! ha! ha! It's rather funny: capital joke. It's gratifying to have one's life in perpetual danger. I rather like it, I didn't know that cold perspiration running down the middle of your back was so delightful a sensation. Ha! ha! A sanguinary Grand Master of a sanguinary K. G. C., with the most sanguinary of bowie knives in his red right hand! [Faintly.] Oh! I can't stand it much longer; I feel I can't. War-correspondence is a fool to this! I'd rather be the Secretary of the Navy, with all the newspapers in the country pitching into me. Oh! Oh! [Putting his hand to his head.]

Enter CESAR, R.

Cæsar. Oh Massa Hobblegobble! sh-sh!

Dodd. You villain, if you make that sound again I'll murder you. [Catching him by the collar and shaking him.] Caesar. Oh Massa! dey's come! dey's come!

Dodd. Oh! they are! Well, send 'em away again.

Cæsar. Oh, but dey won't go, sah; and dey's armed up to de berry roots ob dey har.

Dodd. Armed?

Cæsar. Yes, sah, dey's got bowie knives down de back o' dey necks, and blunderbusses in dey shirt bosoms.

Enter DINGBATTER, L.

Ding. Oh Doddlewobble, Doddle wobble! this is a sad affair. I never supposed you would carry your reprehensible principles to such an extent! Fly, fly for your life!

The

police have received intelligence of your connection with the rebels, and the whole city is in a state of excitement at the discovery.

Enter WALTER, L.

Walter. They are all here, uncle!

I'll

Dodd. [Catching him by the throat.] Monster! squeeze the life out of you! Get me out of this infernal scrape you've got me into, or I'll assassinate you on the spot!

Walter. But, sir, consider—

Dodd. I swear I won't consider. You get-me-out or your life!

Walter. This to the hilt, then! [Punching him with his thumb.]

Dodd. [Staggering back.] Merciful powers! I'm a murdered man!

Walter. Not a bit of it, nunkey; only a little shock to "Yankee bones." [Laughing.] But seriously, if there's been a misunderstanding here, I'm willing to expose myself in order to rescue you. But it will be at no little peril to my safety, I assure you, and I must be permitted to encumber my consent with certain conditions.

Dodd. Name your price at once, sir.
Walter. Well, then, the hand of Clara.
Dodd. [Furiously.] You be-

[Here Blimber, Fudgit, &c., &c., and all the characters interrupt with "sh—sh!" which is echoed from all quarters behind the scenes.] Good gracious! Yes! I consent to anything.

Dingbatter. [Comes forward with a paper.] Sign that.

DODD. sits down hurriedly, and signs without reading. Walter. [Going to door, R.] Come along, Blimber! It's all right, I don't want you any more.

Blimber. [Coming out and going, R.] All right, I'll see you at the camp.

Dodd. I'll be hanged if he hasn't suborned the detective! Can such things be?

Blimber. Sh-sh! [Mysteriously to Dodd.]

Dodd. Get out! [Retreating.]

Walter. I'll see you again, old fellow. Go now.

Exit B., R.

Dodd. Well, sir, what next?

Walter. [Going to door, L. c.] Come along, boys! Follow

Blimber, and meet me at the camp. It's all right! The prize [Enter FUDGIT and RACKET.

is won.
Dodd. What's all this? Have I been deceived ?

Fudg. and Rack. [Mysteriously.] All right! Sh-sh! Dodd. [Starting back.] Ah! you miscreants! Get out! [Exeunt.] Who, then, are the wretches, you young vaga. bond? To Walter.]

Walter. Oh! they are some very good fellows of ours, uncle, who have volunteered to assist me in winning by a little stratagem, what you so obdurately refused me, the dearest object of my life. In a few days, I must depart with my regiment, to serve my country amidst scenes of blood and peril, and the dearest wish of my heart was to marry Clara before my departure. Trust me, I will not prove unworthy of her, or of you; and, if I should be so fortunate as to return, you shall not find me ungrateful for all your kindness. May I not hope, after all that has passed, that you will give me Clara, with your blessing?

Dodd. [In a rage.] Take her and be

Ding. [Clasps his hand over D.'s mouth, and all say: "Sh-sh!"]

Dodd. [Disengaging his mouth.] —blessed!

Enter CESAR, R.

Cæsar. Hooray! Here's de extry Herald !

Dodd. Ah! give it to me; I turn with pleasure to my much-abused war-correspondent! I've learned to-day that there is something worse than the newspaper. Let's seelet'ssee! [Opening the paper.] What's this? [Reads.] “One, P. M. We are informed on the best authority, that the Government has received positive evidence of the death of Jeff. Davis." Well, come! That's good, at least! I'm glad that somebody's dead; it soothes my exasperated nerves amaz ingly. [Reads again.] Hallo! hallo! what's this? "Two

o'clock, P. M. Jeff. Davis alive and well, at the last accounts.' [Drops the paper, and clutches his hair with both hands.] The demon again! Carry me out, and bury me decently! [Sinks into a chair.]

Curtain falls.

DAMON AND PYTHIAS.

Adapted from the play of that name by John Banim.

Characters:-DIONYSIUS, DAMOCLES, PROCLES, PHILISTIUS, DAMON, PYTHIAS, SENATORS, OFFICERS, SOLDIERS, &c.

SCENE I-A street in Syracuse.

DIONYSIUS and PROCLES discovered, as expecting tidings.

Dion., L. Ere this, the senate should have closed its councils,

And chosen the new year's president. I pant

To know their meeting's issue.

Proc., R. Good, my lord,

There's but light doubt, a great majority
Of easy-purchased voices will be found
For your fast friend, Philistius.

Dion. On his choice

Hangs the long chain of complicated purpose
Has ta'en such time in linking. Plague upon
The law, that from the senate-house excludes
All soldiers, like ourselves, or we should soon

Outvote all difficulty! [Senators cross the stage from R. to
L.] Ha! methinks

The assembly hath dissolved.

By Jupiter,

Philistius' self doth hasten to us here,

And with him Damocles! How now, my friend?

Enter PHILISTIUS and DAMOCLES, R.

Art thou the president?

Phil., L. I am, my lord.

Chosen by a large majority to take
The honorable office in the which
I may, at least, 'requite the benefits
Which you have heaped upon me.
Dam. Yes, my lord,

We have at last attained the 'vantage ground,

Whence your broad view may take a boundless prospect.
Dion. Tis a bold step upon the mountain-path,
Wherein I have been toiling. I no longer

Doubt of the senate's inclination.