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What song would a little dog sing who was blown off a ship at sea? "My Bark is on the Sea."

What did the sky-terrier do when he came out of the ark? He went smelling about for ere-a-rat (Ararat) that was there to be found.

What's the difference between the fire coming out of a steamship's chimney and the steam coming out of a flannel shirt airing? One is the flames from the funnel, the other the fumes from the flannel.

What wind should a hungry sailor wish for? One that blows fowl and chops about.

It is often asked who first introduced salt pork into the Navy? Noah, when he took Ham into the ark.

Why was Noah obliged to stoop on entering the ark? Because, although the ark was high, Noah was a hierarch (higher ark).

In what place did the cock crow so loud that all the world heard him? In the ark.

What animal took most luggage into the ark, and which the least? The elephant who had his trunk; while the fox and the cock had only a brush and a comb between them.

Some one mentioning that "columba" was the Latin for a "dove," it gave rise to the following: What is the difference between the Old World and the New? The former was discovered by Columba, who started from Noah; the latter by Columbus, who started from Ge-noa.

Why does a salmon die before it lives? Because its existence is ova (over) before it comes to life.

What does a salmon-breeder do to that fish's ova? He makes an egg-salmon-nation of them.

What confection did they have in the ark? Preserved pairs (pears).

How does a pitcher of water differ from a man throwing his wife overboard? One is water in the pitcher, the other is pitch her in the water.

What is that which every one can divide, but no one can see where it has been divided? Water.

When a boy falls into the water what is the first thing he does? He gets wet.

Why is a New York milkman like the fish that swallowed Jonah? Because he finds a profit (prophet) in the

water.

What prevents a running river running right away? Why, it's tied up.

Who was Jonah's tutor? The whale that brought him up.

What is the difference between the earth and the sea? One is dirty, the other tidy.

Why is the Isthmus of Suez like the first ù in "cucumber"? Because it's between two seas.

When was paper money first mentioned in the Bible? When the dove brought the green back to Noah.

When is a wall like a fish? When it is scaled.

What would be an appropriate exclamation for a man to make when cold, in a boat, out fishing? When, D. V., we get off this "eau," we'll have some "eau-d-v.”

How would you increase the speed of a very slow boat? Make her fast.

What should put the idea of drowning in your head if it be freezing when you are on the briny deep? Because you would wish to "scuttle" the ship if the air was coal'd.

What sort of an anchor has a toper an anchoring after? An anker (just ten gallons) of brandy.

Why can a fish never be in the dark? Because of his paraffins (pair o' fins).

When is an old lady like a trout? When she takes a fly that brings her to the bank.

Why is love like

transport.

canal boat? Because it's an internal

Why is a new-born baby like a storm? Because it begins with a squall.

What is the most ancient mention made of a banking transaction? When Pharoah got a check on the Red Sea Pank, which was crossed by Moses.

When may the sea be compared to a laundress washing summer trousers at a tub? When it makes clean breeches over a vessel.

Why are laundresses good navigators? Because they are always crossing the line, and going from pole to pole.

What's the difference between a specimen of plated goods and Columbus? One is a dishcover, the other is a dis (h)coverer.

What's the difference between Charles Kean and Jonah? One was brought up at Eton, the other was eaten and brought up.

What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy schoolboy? One baits his hook, the other hates his book.

What river is that which runs between two seas? The Thames-between Chel-sea and Batter-sea.

When is the Hudson river good for the eyes? When it's eve (high) water.

Which are the lightest men-Scotchmen, Irishmen, or Englishmen? In Ireland there are men of Cork; in Scotland men of Ayr; but in England, on the Thames, they have lighter-men.

What islands would form a cheerful luncheon party? Friendly, Society, a Sandwich, and Madeira.

My second contains mv st; and, therefore, it is my whole? Lighthouse.

Why can you never expect a fisherman to be generous? Because his business makes him sell-fish.

What sea would a man like to be in on a wet day? Adriatic (a dry attic).

What fish is most valued by a loving wife? Her-ring. What Latin verb gives the origin of the term "Jack tar"? Jactari, to be tossed about.

When does a waterman resemble an Indian? When he feathers his scull.

Why should there be a marine law against whispering? Because it is privateering (private hearing), and consequently illegal.

What does an iron-clad vessel of war, with four inches of steel plating and all its guns on board, weigh just before starting on a cruise? She weighs anchor.

What did the seasick passenger reply to the friend who asked him, "Well, old boy, what's up this afternoon"? "All, but the soup."

How may every passenger make himself of use to the ship carpenter? By merely being a-board.

Which is the most degraded fish? The sole, because it is trodden under foot by everybody as a a matter of

course.

When is a bridle like a ship? When it rides over the bounding mane.

Why does a sailor like a kiss? Because he enjoys a smack.

SHIP FACTS

THE LARGEST VESSELS.

THE largest vessel in existence is the Oceanic. She is the longest and the heaviest ever built, though not as wide as the Great Eastern. She can carry 410 first cabin, 300 second cabin and 1,000 steerage passengers. Her bunker capacity is 6,000 tons, which would enable her to steam around the world at the rate of twelve knots an hour. Two ordinary trolley cars, side by side, could pass through her funnels if laid on the ground. Her displacement, when loaded and drawing 32 feet, is 28,500 tons. The captain's bridge is 74 feet above the keel, and more than 50 feet above the water when the ship is loaded.

The dimensions of the Oceanic compared with the Great Eastern are:

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The Oceanic compares with other steamships as follows:

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To be the Largest Steamships.-Four big ships are now being built for the Oriental trade, to run in connection with the Great Northern railroad. The vessels will probably be ready for service about July, 1901. Each ship will be 430 feet long by 74 feet amidships, 50 feet from water to deck line, and will have a carrying capacity of 22,000 tons. The ships will be the largest in the world, exceeding the Oceanic, and will be able to carry freight at low rates.

The largest cargo carrier is the Cymric. She is 12,340 tons gross measurement, and her dimensions are: Length over all, 585 feet; beam, 64 feet; depth, 38 feet.

The Pennsylvania, when in commission, will be the largest cargo carrier, being rated at 20,000 tons burden. The largest tank steamer is the St. Helens. She will carry 2,850,000 gallons of oil in bulk.

The greatest sailing vessel ever built in America is a six-masted schooner (building in Maine). It is 310 feet long on the keel, 345 feet on top, and will register about 2,750 tons net, with an estimated coal-carrying capacity of from 5,000 to 5,500 tons. The next largest schooners built on the Atlantic coast are the John B. Prescott and the Nathaniel T. Palmer, five-masters, each registering about 2,200 tons net and carrying from 4,000 to 4,400 of coal, according to weather, voyage and draught. Next to them in size is the William B. Palmer, length, 257 feet; breadth, 42 feet; depth, 20 feet; and tonnage, 1,806. Her lower masts are each 116 feet long. Until she was built, the Governor Ames was the largest Yankee schooner.

The largest sailing ship afloat is called the Potosi,

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