"If you were captured what line of conduct would you pursue?" "I would treat my captors with the utmost civility." "What are the duties of Home Guards?" "Their duty is to see that they have no duties." "What will you take?" The latter question may have been answered with too much vehemence, and may have impressed listeners with the belief that I am in the habit of jumping at conclusions. Such, however, is not the case. I am a Zouave; I am a Home Guard. I have been through all the manœuvres, and can right about face; I can also write about any other part of the body. I can do the hand-springs, and the tumbling, and the lay down and rollovers, which are done with or without a musket. I have been drilled till the drill has become a bore. I have drilled in all the marches and leaps and vaults, and in the bayonet exercises, and in all the steps, -the common step, the quick step, the very quick step, and the double quick step, and the trot and the run; also in slow time and long time, which I never learned from my landlady nor my tailor. I can shoulder arms, and bear arms, and carry arms, (if they are not too heavy,) and reverse arms, and support arms, (ordinarily my arms support me,) and I can order arms better than I can pay for them after they are ordered. I can parry and tierce, and I can throw a hand-spring with a sword-bayonet in my hand without breaking the sword-bayonet in more than three pieces, and I can bite off a cartridge without breaking my teeth out. Once, when an order was given to sling knapsacks, I slung mine out of the window, and when the order was given to unsling knapsacks, I went out and slung it back again quicker than anybody else could have done it. I have got a pretty knapsack too there are letters on it. It is just the thing to sit down on in the time of an action, and is big enough for a breastwork in case of danger from bullets or anything of that sort. It's heavy, though, and I felt that there was an immense responsibility resting on me the first time I shouldered it. I must have felt something like Atlas did the first time he shouldered the world. It was so heavy that, as a piece of masterly strategy, I fell back the first time I strapped it on; and as a piece of unmasterly strategy I came near breaking my head against the floor. The Major had promised to put sawdust, softened with soda-water, on the floor hereafter. success in the enterprise I have undertaken. I mean to strike the keynote of my campaign soon, and then look out for a sensation in military circles. I haven't shaved my upper lip since yesterday afternoon. To-morrow will be the third day. I mean to grow a moustache that will be an object of admiration and envy. Mustachios are indispensable to the achievement of a Major Generalship. Mustachios are absolutely necessary to the achievement of anything that is useful. In the event of a war between the United States and the Esquimaux, Chicago my residence will, in all likelihood, be one of the first cities attacked by the invading enemy, and every precaution should be taken to be fully prepared for them. Should such attack ever be made by the warlike and bloodthirsty Esquimaux, or any other of the great powers of the earth, and should it be my misfortune to be unable personally to command my forces, (for I have often observed that an invasion is productive of sickness,) I shall take care that my second officer is a man of sufficient capacity to defend the city as ably as I would do it myself. Should the worst come to to the worst, I stand ready to sacrifice a substitute on the altar of my country. BISHOP ROSECRANS. As Bishop Rosecrans (brother of the General) was at dinner, the conversation reverted to the war. "It would seem to me, Bishop, that you and your brother, the General, are engaged in very different callings," remarked a gentleman. "Yes, it appears so," returned the Bishop. "And yet," he continued, "we are both fighting men. While the General is wielding the sword of flesh, I trust that I am using the sword of the Spirit. He is fighting the rebels, and I am fighting the spirits of darkness. There is this difference in the terms of our service: he is fighting with Price, while I am fighting without price." INCIDENT OF FORT PILLOW. When Commander Davis took possession of Fort Pillow after its evacuation by the Confederates the following letter was found lying on a table in the officers' quarters: "FORT PILLOW, TENN. To the first Yankee who reads this: I present this table not as a manifestation of friendship, yet I entertain no personal animosity to him, but because I can't transport it. After six weeks' bombardment, without doing us any I have been getting a Major General's uni- harm whatever, I know you will exult over the form made. There is every opportunity that occupation of this place, but our evacuation will could be desired for promotion, in our corps, hurt you from another point with disastrous effect. where real merit exists, and a Major General of Five millions white men fighting to be relieved Home Guards is not to be sneezed at. I may from oppression will never be conquered by have to keep my uniform a few years before I twenty millions actuated by malice and pecuniwill have occasion to wear it, but a Major Gen-ary gain, mark that. We have the science, eneral's toggery is a good thing to have in case of promotion. I trust my friends will give themselves no uneasiness, as I feel sure of ultimate ergy and vigor, with the help of God, to extricate ourselves from this horrible and unnatural difficulty pressed upon us by the North; the day of retribution is approaching, and will fall upon you Of everything that bears the shape of whiskey-skin, deadly as a bolt from heaven; may your sojourn at this place be of few days and full of trouble." SOLDIER WIT. - The Colonel of an Alabama regiment, was famous for having everything done up in military style. Once, while field officer of the day, and going his tour of inspection, he came on a sentinel from the eleventh Mississippi regiment sitting flat down on his post, with his gun taken entirely to pieces, when the following dialogue took place : Colonel. "Don't you know that a sentinel while on duty, should always keep on his feet?" Sentinel (without looking up). "That's the way we used to do when the war first began; but that's played out long ago." Colonel (beginning to doubt if the man was on duty). Are you the sentinel here?" Sentinel. Colonel. "Well, I'm a sort of a sentinel.” "Well I'm a sort of officer of the day." Sentinel. “Well, if you'll hold on till I sort of git my gun together, I'll give you a sort of salute." SOUTH CAROLINA GENTLEMAN. AIR- The Fine Old English Gentleman. gin and sugar-brandy sour, peach, and honey, irrepressible cocktail, rum and gum, and luscious apple-jack, This South Carolina gentleman, one of the present time. He takes to euchre kindly, too, and plays an awful hand, Especially when those he tricks his style don't understand, And if he wins, why, then, he stops to pocket all the stakes, But if he loses, then he says to the unfortunate stranger who had chanced to win, "It's my opinion you are a cursed Abolitionist, and if you don't leave South Carolina in one hour, you will be hung like a dog;" but no offer to pay his losses he makes, This South Carolina gentleman, one of the present time. Of course he's all the time in debt to those who credit give, Yet manages upon the best the market yields to live, But if a Northern creditor asks him his bill to heed, This honorable gentleman instantly draws his bowie knives and a pistol, dons a blue cockade, and declares that in consequence of the repeated aggressions of the North, and its gross violations of the Constitution, he feels that it would utterly degrade him to pay any debt whatever, and that in fact he has at last determined to SECEDE, Down in a small Palmetto State the curious ones This South Carolina gentleman, one of the present may find, A ripping, tearing gentleman of an uncommon kind, A staggering, swaggering sort of chap who takes his whiskey straight, And frequently condemns his eyes to that ultimate vengeance which a clergyman of high standing has assured must be a sinner's fate; This South Carolina gentleman, one of the present time. time. TRUE SOLDIERS. The following occurred on board the steamer Canada during her passage from Dubuque to St. Louis. In the evening while many of the passengers were engaged in conversation, others whiling away their time at "euchre," while some more rude oath, were passing the evening away, a young perhaps, with the ribald jest and ungentlemanly man seated himself at one of the tables, and engaged in reading his Bible. Another, and still another took their places around this temporary altar, until nearly all of that little band of soldiers, numbering about twenty, were reading the Scriptures. An aged man took his station in their midst. He had a pious and venerable air, for his hoary locks proclaimed that many a winter had passed over his head. There, those farming boys, with that old man, formed a group, whose actions indeed were worthy of all commendation. The creaking machinery of the boat, the dirgelike music of the wind, was loud; yet, above the clatter, all things else, we know those boys were heard in heaven, and that their prayers will be answered! Their Bibles, precious gift of home, are sacred with them, and will shield them too, when the glittering mail of yore would fall. Parents and friends of home, fear not for such brave sons, who, relying on Heaven, are not ashamed nor afraid to praise God, and do battle for the Star-Spangled Banner. These were soldiers of the regular army enlisted in Dubuque, by Captain Washington. A SCOUT TO EAST TENNESSEE. BY THE LOCHIEL CAVALRY. AT sunrise, on December 20th, 1862, ten companies of the Ninth Pennsylvania Cavalry-460 men, under command of Major Russell, and eight companies of the Second Michigan 300 men, under command of Col. Campbell, marched due east from Nicholasville, Ky., on a secret expedition, for which thirty days were allotted for those who should be so fortunate as to return. The orders were to move "light and easy," without tents, baggage or extra clothing; carry on your horse all you wanted, and two shoes and twenty nails for him. There were ten days' rations issued, which each trooper carried. Marching through the farms and by-paths to avoid all towns and villages, crossing the Kentucky river at an out of the way ford, and ascending Big Hill south of Richmond, we arrived at M'Kees, county town of Jackson county, Ky., containing six or eight houses, being the first village we had passed through. We were halted here one day, for a corn and provision train to come up that had pack-saddles in it. There were fifty mules packed here with two days' rations, and the wagons sent back to Lexington with half team force, leaving corn for our return, there being none in Jackson county. they were in full flood, so that they could not even have been swum by our horses. From Goose creek we had only bridle-paths, and marched by file across a deep depression in the ridge to the Red Bird, up that and across it scores of times to its topmost spring. December 27th.-Crossing the Kentucky Ridge, and down to the waters of the middle fork of Kentucky river, crossing and rising that, we came down to Straight creek and halted for half an hour to breathe, ere breasting the pine mountain that appeared to push its rocky side up like the wall of a house to near the clouds then lowering and dripping on our heads. The zig-zag paths up the face of this mountain turn and return on each other as often as a fox trail, and the toiling men and horses crawling up its side, looked, from the valley, like flies ascending and sticking to a wall. Its sandy eastern front was too steep to ride down, and there were several miles of arduous marching over the Pine Mountain ere we reached the Poor Fork at the Cumberland. Marched up its quicksand shores and beside the horizontal rock ledges that are natural fortresses, ready made to the hand of the men of Harlan county to defend themselves from invasion by way of Cumberland Gap or any other in the mountain_range. Fording the Cumberland December 24th. The weather had been very and Clover Fork and following up Martin's fair and beautiful, except this last day, which creek, we camped during the rainy night and was rainy and cold, and we marched out in slept by the fires for the last time for many days the rain for Goose creek, near its junction until our return into Kentucky again. Marching with the Red Bird fork of Kentucky river. over a high ridge, the bold and beautiful CumHalting in the meadow an hour to give the berland mountain rose majestically before us, horses a bite of hay (the first they had for four and extended like a frowning barrier to right days, and about all they ever got on the march), and left as far as the eye could reach without a we were joined by the Seventh Ohio Cav-perceptible break in the uniformity of its crest. alry 240 men from Winchester, Ky., under command of Major Reany. The whole force now numbered 1,000 men, and was under command of Brig. Gen. Carter, having on his staff Col. Carter, Col. Walker, Col. Garrett, Capt. Watkins, Capt. M'Nish, Capt. Easley and others, all acting as aids, assistants, or guides. We now ascertained we were sent to burn the bridges on the East Tennessee railroad, and were expected to foot it half the way over the successive steep and rugged mountain ranges of Kentucky, Virginia, and Tennessee, and recommended to cheerfully endure all the hardships and place ourselves on half rations to begin with. I will say for the soldiers that no man cavilled at it, or wanted to turn his back, but all went cheerfully forward, bearing their own burdens as best they might, without sleep, on half rations, food half cooked, and boots worn off their feet by tramping over the rocks to ease their own good horses, and trusting to Providence to keep down the wide and swift rivers that drain these wild mountains. There was to ford, on going and coming, the Cumberland, Powell's river, Wallen's river, the Clinch, North Holston, South Holston and the Watauga, the Holston and Clinch being navigable for steamboats when the waters are up. Providentially they were kept down for us. In three days after our exit Two-thirds of the way up the mountain was a level shoulder, as it were breaking the uniformity of its side and appearing as if there had been great waves running the length of the mountains, and thus arrested and changed to rock while in motion adding greatly to its beauty, while the softened rays of the declining sun shone in contrasted light and shadow on the gray rock waves, the green pines and the bare, brown poplars and oaks. Halting beside the little stream in the pleasant valley, an hour was spent in giving corn to the jaded horses, sending back the whole pack mule train, all inefficient horses and a few sick men to Lexington. At sunset, leading our horses for a two mile march up, and a one mile march down, we cheerfully addressed ourselves to the task of crossing the Cumberland mountain. We reached the summit in two hours, under the light of the full soft moon that silvered and beautified the scene, and passed over into the State of Virginia through Crank Gap, so called from its tortuous break in the horizontal rock crest of the Cumberland, some 200 feet deep and a quarter of a mile in width. This pass is more beautiful and picturesque than anything I have ever seen. It arrested the attention of every soldier and according to his temperament he viewed it to right and left in silent admi ration at the wonderful works of God, or in rapturous comment as the soft moonlight silvered o'er and smoothed the ruggedness of each natural "frieze and coign of vantage" that was broken or rounded and carved, and overhung our winding path with all the softness of a summer Italian landscape by Claude Lorraine. Passing the crest we turned to the left and went down an easy grade on a projecting Sierra from the face of the mountain, with a precipice on each side. Reaching the end of that we turned short again to the left with our faces to the mountain and slipped down into chaos, pitching and sliding from rock to rock into a wild gorge. Looking directly up to the Kentucky heights was rock scenery of such savage character over our heads, as would have delighted the heart of Salvator Rosa. It would but have required a camp fire while our troops were filing and plunging down, and his pencil, to more than rival his scenes in the Appenines. The cliffs here were in shadow from the moon, and crested the whole northeastern face of the mountain in one rude unbroken strata, and projected like a threatening arm from Kentucky, raised to chastise any invader. It is not to be wondered that the white man had his superstitions in invading the western home of the Indian while climbing these cliffs from the east. This Crank pass has the singular appearance of having fallen two hundred feet into some subterranean gulf, the pass being level for a quarter of a mile in width, winding over the mountains in a curve between the buttressed walls for more than half a mile, with the rocks torn sheer down from both sides, leaving the singular rock walls overhanging. The pass has the same kind of soil and trees on it that cap the rock battlements, and to soften the wild scene, were glassy glades around a dilapidated house, where some mountaineer had once built him a home, now abandoned. Below his house the sounds of falling water greeted our ears as we crossed the sunken pass, through an avenue of hemlocks and gigantic rhododendrons, intermingled with isolated rocks, moss covered by the falling waters, that were of such enormous sizes as would have made dwellings for the Genii or the Titans. Turning with a sigh from all this wealth of natural beauty, thinking how much it would be endeared to us could the loved ones at home be at our side to appreciate it, and pondering on the thought of how far distant was the day when we could visit it with smiling peace waving her wing over the land, we looked the present toils and dangers fully in the face, and strode manfully on. Passing north up Poor Valley to avoid alarming Jonesville, we forded Powell's river and crossed Lee county during the night, reaching Wallen's Ridge at sunrise, where resting two hours, cooking our coffee and toasting our meat on long sticks or eating it raw (as many preferred), and feeding our horses with the corn we carried over the Cumberland we pushed on for Tennessee, crossing Powell's mountain. At sunset we reached the broad and swift Clinch river; fording it, we halted at a very picturesque spot, where was a large old-time mansion and the only good flouring mill we had seen in our travels, with its very large wheel driven by the tumbling waters at a mountain brook poured on the top of it, glistening like silver in the soft twilight, while the river waters murmured by. Halting here for an hour for coffee, and to give to the horses a good feed of corn, which the mill and farm-house furnished, and was paid for in "greenbacks," though under the confederate iron rule the miller would not dare to use them, we pushed on through the mountain passes at Purchase Ridge and Copper Ridge for Estillville. We had captured many small squads of confederate soldiers and conscripts on our way, paroling them all. We this night captured several, under charge of a lieutenant, who were halting at a farm-house by the road-side. Before starting, orders were given that we were to report ourselves to inquirers along the road as confederate Georgia and Tennessee cavalry returning from a secret expedition, and every one along the road was deceived by it, as they thought we were purposely disguised in blue clothes. Passing Estillville, crossing Scott county, Virginia, and fording the north fork of the Holston at night, we reached Blountsville, Tennessee, at eight A. M. The Ninth Pennsylvania and Seventh Ohio were halted here an hour, and the Second Michigan were pressed forward six miles to Union Station, where the East Tennessee railroad crosses the south fork of Holston on an expensive bridge 1,000 feet long. Here, as we had understood from our prisoners of last night, were stationed three companies of the Sixtysecond North Carolina confederate troops under Major McDowell. After all our marches, toils and trials, here was to be tested the complete surprise and success of our expedition, or we were to be met by the enemy, repulsed and driven back over the_mountains without accomplishing our object. It was a moment for anxious thought on the part of General Carter, which was fully shared by each one in the expedition from highest to lowest. As it proved, the Almighty was pleased to bless our cause, for never was surprise more complete. We had outtravelled all certain information, but rumors of a coming host had preceded us like the mutterings of a thunder storm. storm. Within eighty rods of the station Sergeant Whitemore, Co. A, commanding the Michigan Videttes, met six citizens riding up; they asking who our troops were, were answered First Georgia Cavalry. They were delighted, shook hands with the Sergeant and said, "The d-d Yankees were in Estillville, fifteen miles off, five thousand strong" that "they had raised a hundred men besides the troop, and were going out into the country to raise more men to defend the post-that the Major was coming along right up and the Sergeant would meet him before he got to the bridge." Col. Carter came up to the citizens at that moment and passed them to the rear. The Sergeant told him he would go down to meet the Major. He said, "Yes, do Love, of the Sixty-second North Carolina, a so." The Sergeant moved forward to a sharp Major, a Captain and a telegraphic staff coming curve in the road and saw the Major and two up to ascertain why the telegraph would not citizens, at sixty rods' distance, talking to the work. Five minutes sufficed to put a guard on sentinels at the bridge. He came back out of the locomotive and run her down after us, and sight, dismounted three men and himself, sent we were again on our way and on the alert. It the horses back to the column halted up the road, had been raining slowly all day and now came and secreted his men in a fence corner behind on heavily. Nearing the rebel camp, Col. Carthe road curve to await the Major's coming. ter, who knew all the ground, arranged the attack, When the Major and the two citizens came up, Col. Walker assisting. Companies A and F, conversing about the "Yankees" to within five Second Michigan, dismounted on the right; the feet of the ambush, they were appalled by the twelve rifles of Company A, Ninth Pennsylvania sight of the bright revolving rifles close to their Cavalry, in the centre, and Company D, Seventh heads at full cock. The Sergeant said, "You are Ohio, with their rifles, on the left, were to surmy prisoners." Involuntarily they halt, wheel round the camp, the balance of the rifles being their horses to flee, when a sharp halt! brought posted as rear guard and on the left of the road, them to front face again. The Sergeant and then it was to be summoned to surrender, moved them up toward the column. Colonel to save useless bloodshed. Unfortunately there Campbell had come to the point with Colonel were some rebel soldiers on the ourtskirts of the Carter. Colonel Campbell addressed the Major, camp chopping wood, six of whom were captured took his hand and told him he had come to take as the troops deployed, but two ran in and his post, and if he did not surrender uncondi- alarmed the camp. A shot was fired by some tionally he would take it at any rate; saying one on the left, and the attack became general. also, "My men are posted to fire on youThe rebels were under arms and the firing was you have not a moment to lose to avoid use- very heavy on both sides for the numbers enless bloodshedding. The Major wrote a note gaged, for ten minutes, when the Ninth Pennsylto the Captain in command at the post and vania, followed by the Seventh Ohio, charged advised its surrender. It was sent down with a on the camp pistol in hand, and the enemy fled. flag of truce and the place was surrendered at Companies C and D and the balance of Company once; the rifles peering across the Holston from A, Ninth Pennsylvania Cavalry, had been formed the hill commanding the camp being persuaders in fours around the hill to charge with sabre too potent to be gainsaid. The telegraph was should there be resistance. When the firing instantly destroyed before an intimation of our slacked they were ordered to charge, and did so, presence could be conveyed and the railroad on the camp. Finding it almost abandoned, bridge fired. The two hundred prisoners (who they galloped over the Watauga. Companies C appeared to be rejoiced) were placed under and D filed left into a ploughed field to head off guard, and the Ninth Pennsylvanian and Seventh the retreating enemy. Company A kept the Ohio ordered forward from the Blountsville road. road, and at full charge came on them drawn up On their arriving, an expedition was ordered in two ranks by the roadside. Capt. Jones under Colonel Walker and Colonel Carter to ordering them to throw down their arms at thirty capture and burn the bridge nine miles south-paces, the rebels were so startled by the rush of west across Watauga river, consisting of compan- horses and glancing of sabres that they all obeyed ies A, C, and D, the twelve rifles of Co. B, fifteen the order, but a half dozen, who came near losing of Co. F, Ninth Pennsylvania Cavalry; compa- their lives by not doing so. There were two nies A, and F, Second Michigan Cavalry, and two lieutenants and seventy-two men who surrencompanies of the Seventh Ohio Cavalry. The dered and saved much blood-shedding. They balance of the troops were kept back by Gen- were making their way to a log house close at eral Carter to destroy the county bridge, the hand a capital fortress which we would turn-table, cars, ammunition, camp and commis- have been compelled to have stormed at once. sary stores, and to follow us down to Watauga Companies C and D went down the road and and defend our rear from the enemy's 800 troops overhauled sixteen more. The short, sharp action at Bristol, fourteen miles by railway, and Hum- cost several lives. One man of Company D, phrey Marshall's force at Abingdon, thirty miles Seventh Ohio, shot dead; one man of Company off by railway. At five miles out the Watauga A, Second Michigan, mortally wounded in the expedition heard a whistle. The troops were abdomen, and two of the twelve men, Company instantly dismounted and ambushed at both ends A, Ninth Pennsylvania, wounded in the leg; one and besides a deep cut, a rail cut out with our had to be amputated and the man left with the axes in front, and men ambushed with orders to rebel wounded. Of the rebel forces, there were cut out a rail in her rear the instant the engine two killed and fifteen wounded. Our surgeon ran into the deep cut-all in less time than it assisted in dressing their wounded, and two of takes me to write it. A locomotive and tender our wounded men were left at the station, Col. came in sight, ran into the cut, saw the rail out, Love and Lieut. Hill promising they should have reversed and backed out instanter, but not be- the same care as their own men. The two Lieufore the rail was up in their rear, and they were tenants, Hill and of the Sixty-second fully caged on the rifles peering over the bank. North Carolina, fought their commands with We had gotten a prize, having captured Col. great gallantry. What a pity that it should be |