Gathering the Missing Pieces in an Adopted Life
Broadman & Holman, 1994 - 201 pages
The author's successful search for her birthfamily brought answers to questions she had asked since childhood. Gathering the Missing Pieces in an Adopted Life guides anyone who might have some connection to the adoption process: adopted individuals who wonder whether finding missing relatives is right for them, adoptive parents who struggle with how to share information with their children, and birthfamily members who wonder whether they have the right to know children from whom they were once parted.
Although the book is partially autobiographical, it includes stories of at least sixty other individuals who have some adoption connection. While highlighting the positive outcomes of adoptive searches, Moore also references the various challenges and pitfalls that can occur during this emotionally charged process. For adoptive parents, the book helps explain why some adoptees must search: they have an insatiable need that evades most persons who have grown up knowing their biological families. For birthparents, the book features the stories of several who have been found and how the process filled in important gaps for them as well. It shows how the sometimes lonely, staggering decisions that they made earlier impact their lives for years to come.
Each chapter concludes with a handy reference on how the various members of the adoption "triad" -- birthfamily, adoptees, and adopted persons -- can relate to and use the information. Moore also gives attention to the rapidly changing laws, regulations, and expectations surrounding adoptions, and she includes a thorough listing of references, agencies, and other adoption resources.
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But this way of operating was foreign and even seemingly insulting to my birth mother and her husband . They had a fun - loving , anything - goes , spontaneous style . They were more comfortable leaving a schedule loose and filling in ...
During such times , Kristen's husband Grant was supportive and understanding and did not rush her through the processing . “ It's difficult for anyone who is reared in their birth family to understand why you could become so preoccupied ...
A husband can't pull his wife aside and say , for example , “ Now , when your birth mother walks through the Paul's words to the house ... does Ephesians about that usually mean that she's husbands and wives angry about something ?