Gathering the Missing Pieces in an Adopted Life
Broadman & Holman, 1994 - 201 pages
The author's successful search for her birthfamily brought answers to questions she had asked since childhood. Gathering the Missing Pieces in an Adopted Life guides anyone who might have some connection to the adoption process: adopted individuals who wonder whether finding missing relatives is right for them, adoptive parents who struggle with how to share information with their children, and birthfamily members who wonder whether they have the right to know children from whom they were once parted.
Although the book is partially autobiographical, it includes stories of at least sixty other individuals who have some adoption connection. While highlighting the positive outcomes of adoptive searches, Moore also references the various challenges and pitfalls that can occur during this emotionally charged process. For adoptive parents, the book helps explain why some adoptees must search: they have an insatiable need that evades most persons who have grown up knowing their biological families. For birthparents, the book features the stories of several who have been found and how the process filled in important gaps for them as well. It shows how the sometimes lonely, staggering decisions that they made earlier impact their lives for years to come.
Each chapter concludes with a handy reference on how the various members of the adoption "triad" -- birthfamily, adoptees, and adopted persons -- can relate to and use the information. Moore also gives attention to the rapidly changing laws, regulations, and expectations surrounding adoptions, and she includes a thorough listing of references, agencies, and other adoption resources.
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Adopted individuals , birth parents , and adoptive parents are all connected and will be throughout their lives whether or not any members of the constellation ever choose to meet . Without the birth parents no child would exist .
“ It will be difficult to do , but we will try to build up their self - esteem to the point that they can meet these relatives and feel good about themselves , ” she said . “ A time will come in their lives that they'll need to do this ...
So far , Joe says he has tried to meet his children's level of curiosity with appropriate answers but says he will hold back no details when the time comes to tell about his abandonment . “ I tend to be too judging about my mother and ...