CHARLES FARRAR BROWNE

("ARTEMUS WARD")

THE MORMONS

[Lecture by Charles F. Browne-" Artemus Ward "-humorist (born in Waterford, Maine, April 26, 1834; died in Southampton, England, March 6, 1867), delivered upon his first appearance before an English audience, in Egyptian Hall, Piccadilly, London, November 13, 1866. This was the most elaborate of all of his lectures, and included passages from both "The Babes in the Woods," and "Sixty Minutes in Africa," the delivery of which in various cities from the Atlantic to the Pacific coast, before he went abroad, had established his reputation as an American humorist. It was received by his English hearers with flattering comment. His jokes, one newspaper-writer remarked, "always came just in the place one least expected to find them. Half the enjoyment of the evening lay, to some of those present, in listening to the cachinnation of the people who only found them out some two or three minutes after they were made, and who then laughed apparently at some grave statement of fact. Reduced to paper, the showman's jokes are certainly not brilliant; almost their whole effect lies in their seemingly impromptu character. They are carefully led up to, of course, but they are uttered as if they were mere afterthoughts of which the speaker is hardly sure." Another critic has observed, "However much he caused his audience to laugh, no smile appeared upon his own face. It was grave even to solemnity while he was giving utterance to the most delicious absurdities." The inimitable drawl-impossible of suggestion or reproduction in type-which characterized his speech also added to its humor; while the droll mixture of fact and fancy, serious statement with extravagant flight, gave piquancy to the performance. The lecture was illustrated by a panorama, and the printeci programme, reproduced in fac-simile on the following pages, gave a whimsical synopsis of the production, with a special note announcing that "Mr. Artemus Ward will call on the citizens of London, at their residences, and explain any jokes in his narrative which they may not understand."]

From "Complete Works of Artemus Ward," edited by "Eli Perkins" and pub lished by the G. W. Dillingham Co., New York. Copyrighted. 123

EGYPTIAN HALL,

PICCADILLY.

Every Night (except Saturday) at 8,

SATURDAY AFTERNOON AT 3.

ARTEMUS ARD

AMONG THE MORMONS.

During the Vacation the Hall has been carefully Swept out, and a new Door-Knob has been added to the Door.

MR. ARTEMUS WARD will call on the Citizens of London, at their residences, and explain any jokes in his narrative which they may not understand.

A person of long-established integrity will take excellent care of Bonnets, Cloaks, etc., during the entertainment; the Audience better leave their money, however, with MR. WARD; he will return it to them in a day or two, or invest it for them in America, as they may think best.

Nobody must say that he likes the Lecture unless he wishes to be thought eccentric; and nobody must say that he doesn't like it unless he really is eccentric. (This requires thinking over, but it will amply repay perusal.)

The Panorama used to Illustrate Mr. Ward's Narrative is rather worse than Panoramas usually are.

MR. WARD will not be responsible for any debts of his own contracting.

PROGRAMME.

I.

APPEARANCE OF ARTEMUS WARD,

Who will be greeted with applause. The Stall-keeper is particularly requested to attend to this. When quiet has been restored, the Lecturer will present a rather frisky prologue, of about ten minutes in length, and of nearly the same width. It perhaps isn't necessary to speak of the depth.

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II.

THE PICTURES COMMENCE HERE, the first one being a view of the California Steamship. Large crowd of citizens on the wharf, who appear to be entirely willing that ARTEMUS WARD shall go. Bless you, Sir!" they say. Don't hurry about coming back. Stay away for years, if you want to!" It was very touching. Disgraceful treatment of the passengers, who are obliged to go forward to smoke pipes, while the steamer herself is allowed 2 Smoke Pipes amidships. At Panama. A glance at Mexico.

III.

THE LAND OF GOLD.

Montgomery Street, San Francisco.

The Gold Bricks. Street Scenes. "The Orphan Cabman, or the Mule-Driver's Step-Father." The Chinese Theatre. Sixteen square yards of a Chinese Comic Song.

IV.

THE LAND OF SILVER.

Virginia City, the wild young metropolis of the new Silver State. Fortunes are made there in a day. There are instances on record of young men going to this place without a shilling-poor and friendless -yet by energy, intelligence, and a careful disregard to business, they have been enabled to leave there, owing hundreds of pounds.

V.

THE GREAT DESERT AT NIGHT.

A dreary waste of Sand. The Sand isn't worth saving, however. Indians occupy yonder mountains. Little Injuns seen in the distance trundling their war-hoops.

VI.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW OF GREAT SALT LAKE CITY.

With some entirely descriptive talk.

VII.

MAIN STREET, EAST SIDE.

The Salt Lake Hotel, which is conducted on Temperance principles. The landlord sells nothing stronger than salt butter.