By measuring the pressure of the air current traversing the siren, an accurate gage of the sound is obtained. This can be utilized in examining the hearing sharpness of patients, for which purpose no adequate method was so far available, all former instruments failing to produce sounds comparable with those of the human voice.

Such sirens, however, give the impres; sion only of sung vowels and in order to reproduce those of spoken words, each siren has to be fitted with a mouthpiece that accurately imitates the shape of the mouth in pronouncing the vowel in question.

The same apparatus is used not only for gaging the sharpness of the sense of hearing, but as well for improving it by a methodical application of the apparatus to the ear drum. Another possible application is for gaging the acoustic qualities of a given hall, and in this connection the apparatus has been used successfully by its inventor in examining some of the foremost Parisian music-halls and auditoriums. It could obviously be used also for artificially reproducing the human voice, were this problem not already solved so satisfactorily by the phonograph.

His Compliment

AN assistant secretary of one of the Federal departments at Washington in conversation frequently betrays his Celtic origin.

One day lately he lost his umbrella during a tour of several shops in quest of an article for his wife. Concluding that the umbrella must have been left in one of the three stores in question he doubled on his trail and revisited them in turn.

"The umbrella has not been found here," he was told at the first establishment.

The same announcement was made at the second shop; whereupon the official, with a hopeless air, made his way to the third store.

There, to his delight, the umbrella was awaiting him. As the floor-walker handed it over, the overjoyed Celt exclaimed:

"Well, I must say you are more honest here than at those other stores!"-Harper's.

Sensible Cow

MR. FLATT DWELLER "The difference between a cow and a milkman is that a cow gives pure milk."

CHALKER (the milkman)-"There's another difference; the cow doesn't give credit."

Perfectly Impartial

THE manager of a shipyard is reported to have assembled his men together in the time office and told them to vote in a municipal election as they pleased. "In fact, I shan't tell you how I am going to vote," he said, "but after it is all over I shall have a barrel of beer brought into the yard." ("Hear, hear!" - shouted the men.) "But I shan't tap it unless Mr. Blank gets in."-Argonaut.

Instructions Needed

EVERYBODY knows one or more or those conscientious egoists who cannot rid themselves of the idea that no one can be trusted to carry out the simplest details of routine work without their personal supervision.

It was one of these men who sailed for England, leaving in his brother's care a parrot of which he was very fond. All the way across the Atlantic he worried about the bird, and no sooner had he landed at Southampton than he rushed over this cablegram to his brother:

"Be sure and feed parrot."
And the brother cabled back:

"Have fed him, but he's hungry again. What shall I do next?"-Woman's Home Companion.

The Manly Part

Ar a dinner in Newport Rear Admiral Evans spoke with scorn of a young man who had married an old woman for her money.

"That chap calls himself a man, I suppose," said the great sea-fighter, "but there are various definitions of the word man, and the definition that would fit our friend best is the Peebles one. A Scot of Peebles said to his friend MacAndrew, 'Mac, I hear ye have fallen in love wi' bonny Kate McAllister.'

"Well, Sanders,' Mac replied, 'I was nearverra near-doin' it, but the bit lassie had nae siller, so I said to myself, "Mac, be a mon" -Rochester Herald.