2

Did I speak once angrily, all the drear days
You lived, you woman I loved so well,
Who married the other? Blame or praise,

Where was the use then? Time would tell,
And the end declare what man for you,

What woman for me was the choice of God.
But, Edith dead! no doubting more!

I used to sit and look at my life
As it rippled and ran till, right before,
A great stone stopped it: oh, the strife
Of waves at that stone some devil threw
In my life's midcurrent, thwarting God!

3.

But either I thought, "They may churn and chide
Awhile, my waves which came for their joy

And found this horrible stone full-tide:
Yet I see just a thread escape, deploy
Through the evening-country, silent and safe,
And it suffers no more till it finds the sea."
Or else I would think, "Perhaps some night
When new things happen, a meteor-ball
May slip through the sky in a line of light,

And earth breathe hard, and landmarks fall,

And my waves no longer champ nor chafe, [be!" Since a stone will have rolled from its place: let

4.

But, dead! All 's done with: wait who may,
Watch and wear and wonder who will.
Oh, my whole life that ends to-day!

Oh, my soul's sentence, sounding still,

"The woman is dead, that was none of his; And the man, that was none of hers, may go!" There's only the past left: worry that!

Wreak, like a bull, on the empty coat, Rage, its late wearer is laughing at!

Tear the collar to rags, having missed his throat; Strike stupidly on—" This, this and this,

Where I would that a bosom received the blow!"

5.

I ought to have done moré: once my speech,
And once your answer, and there, the end,
And Edith was henceforth out of reach!

Why, men do more to deserve a friend,
Be rid of a foe, get rich, grow wise,

Nor, folding their arms, stare fate in the face.
Why, better even have burst like a thief
And borne you away to a rock for us two
In a moment's horror, bright, bloody and brief,
Then changed to myself again-" I slew
Myself in that moment; a ruffian lies

Somewhere your slave, see, born in his place!"

What did the other do?

6.

You be judge!

Look at us, Edith! Here are we both!
Give him his six whole years: I grudge

None of the life with you, nay, I loathe
Myself that I grudged his start in advance
Of me who could overtake and pass.
But, as if he loved you! No, not he,
Nor anyone else in the world, 'tis plain:
Who ever heard that another, free

As I, young, prosperous, sound and sane,
Poured life out, proffered it-" Half a glance
Of those eyes of yours and I drop the glass!"

7.

Handsome, were you? 'Tis more than they held, More than they said; I was 'ware and watched: I was the 'scapegrace, this rat belled

The cat, this fool got his whiskers scratched: The others? No head that was turned, no heart Broken, my lady, assure yourself!

Each soon made his mind up; so and so
Married a dancer, such and such

Stole his friend's wife, stagnated slow,
Or maundered, unable to do as much,
And muttered of peace where he had no part:

While, hid in the closet, laid on the shelf,—

8.

On the whole, you were let alone, I think!
So, you looked to the other, who acquiesced;
My rival, the proud man,―prize your pink

Of poets! A poet he was! I've guessed:
He rhymed you his rubbish nobody read,
Loved you and doved you-did not I laugh!
There was a prize! But we both were tried.

Oh, heart of mine, marked broad with her mark, Tekel, found wanting, set aside,

Scorned! See, I bleed these tears in the dark Till comfort come and the last be bled: He? He is tagging your epitaph.

9.

If it would only come over again!

-Time to be patient with me, and probe This heart till you punctured the proper vein, Just to learn what blood is: twitch the robe From that blank lay-figure your fancy draped, Prick the leathern heart till the-verses spirt! And late it was easy; late, you walked

Where a friend might meet you; Edith's name Arose to one's lip if one laughed or talked;

If I heard good news, you heard the same; When I woke, I knew that your breath escaped; I could bide my time, keep alive, alert.

10.

And alive I shall keep and long, you will see!

I knew a man, was kicked like a dog
From gutter to cesspool; what cared he

So long as he picked from the filth his prog?
He saw youth, beauty, and genius die,
And jollily lived to his hundredth year.
But I will live otherwise: none of such life!
At once I begin as I mean to end.

Go on with the world, get gold in its strife,

Give your spouse the slip, and betray your friend!

There are two who decline, a woman and I,

And enjoy our death in the darkness here.

11.

I liked that way you had with your curls
Wound to a ball in a net behind:

Your cheek was chaste as a quaker-girl's,

And your mouth-there was never, to my mind, Such a funny mouth, for it would not shut; And the dented chin, too-what a chin!

There were certain ways when you spoke, some words

That you know you never could

pronounce :

You were thin, however; like a bird's

Your hand seemed-some would say, the pounce

Of a scaly-footed hawk-all but!

The world was right when it called you thin.