DIALOGUES.

ALL FOR GOOD ORDER.-D. P. PAGE.

Characters.-SCHOOLMASTER; ISAAC, a schoolboy; Mr. FOSDICK; BILL, his son; Mrs. O'CLARY (Irish); PATRICK, her son; SQUIRE SNYDER; JONAS, his son; SAUNDERS, a drunken fellow; JABEZ, his son; Some half-dozen schoolboys.

Master. (Setting copies alone.) Well, so here I am again, after another night's sleep. But, sleep or no sleep, I feel about as much fatigued in the morning as I do at night. It is impossible to get the cares and anxieties of my profession out of my mind. It does seem to me that the parents of some of my pupils are very unfeeling; for I know I have done my very best to keep a good school, and however I may have failed in some instances I have the satisfaction of feeling, in my conscience, that my best endeavors have been devoted to my work.-A merry lot of copies here, to be set before school time. (Looking at his watch.) But "a diligent hand will accomplish much." By the way, that will do for a copy for Jonas Snyder-little culprit! He was very idle yesterday. (Thinking and busy.) What can that story mean, which Mr. Truetell told me this morning? Five or six!-who could they be?-five or six of the parents of my scholars dreadfully offended! Let me see: What have I done? Nothing very lately, that I recollect. Let's see; yesterday. No, there was nothing yesterday, except that I detained the class in geography till they got their lessons. O, yes; Jonas Snyder was punished for idleness. But I spoke to him four or five times, and he would do nothing but whisper, and whittle his bench; and when at last he half ate up an apple, and threw the rest at Jacob Readslow, I thought he deserved it.

Let's see I gave him six claps-three on each hand. Well, he did not get more than his deserts. (Enter one of the scholars, with his books under his arm, walking slowly, and eying the master, to his seat. Master, still busy and thinking, by and by says,) Isaac, you may come to me.

(He walks along and says,) Sir!

Master. Do you remember (placing his pen over his ear, and turning earnestly and portentously round) whether I punished any scholars yesterday?

Isaac.

laughing.

Yes, sir; you feruled Jone Snyder, for playing and

Mas. Did I punish any one else?

Is. Not as I recollect.

Mas. Think, Isaac; think carefully.

Is. You kept a lot of us after school for not saying our lessons

Mas. (Quickly.) You mean, Isaac, rather, I kept you to get your lessons, which you had neglected.

Is. Yes, sir; and you made Patrick O'Clary stop and sweep, because he stayed out too late after recess.

Mas. O, yes; I remember that.

ls. He was as mad as a hop about it; he said he meant to tell his mother that you made him sweep for nothing.

Mas. Hush! hush! You should n't tell tales. remember any other punishments?

Do you

You hit Jabe Saunders a clip cowskin, day before yesterday.

Is. No, sir; not yesterday. across the knuckles with the Don't you remember? Just as he stretched out his hand t hook that old rag upon Tom Willis's collar, you came along behind him, and clip went the old whip, right across his fingers, and down went the old rag. There, I never was more glad to see anything in my life! Little dirty, mean fellow!-he's always sticking things upon fellows. I saw him once pin an old dirty rag upon a man's coat, just as he was putting a letter into the post-office. I never saw such a fellow !

(The other boys coming in gradually, the master rings his little bell, and says,) Boys, come to order, and take your books.

Now, boys, I wish to see if we can't have a good school to-day. Let's see are we all here ?

Boys. No, sir! No, sir!

Mus. Who is absent?

Boys. Jone Snyder! Jabe Saunders! Patrick O'Clary! and

Mas. Speak one at a time, my boys. Don't make confusion, to begin with; and (looking around them,)—O, Bill Fosdick, -only four!

One of the boys. Pat O'Clary is late. I saw him down in Baker street, poking along. He always comes late

Mas. Did he say he was coming?

Same Boy. I asked him if he was coming to school, and he shook his head, and muttered out something about his mother, and I ran along and left him.

Mas. Well, boys, now let us try to have a still school and close study to-day, and see if it is not more pleasant to learn than to play. (Rises and walks to and fro on the stage.) Take the geography lesson, James and Samuel, first thing this morning; and, Isaac, I don't wish to detain you again to-day. (Loud knock at the door.)

(Enter BILL FOSDICK, walking importantly and consequentially up to the master, and says,) Here! father wants to see you at the door!

(Master turns to go to the door, followed by BILL, who wishes to hear all that's said, and MR. FOSDICK, looking quite savage, steps right inside, the master politely bowing, with a "goodmorning.")

Fosdick. Here, sir; I want to see you about my boy. I don't like to have you keep him after school every day; I want him at home,—and I should like to have you dismiss him when school is done. If he wants lickin', lick him,—that's all; but don't you keep him here an hour or two every day after school. I don't send him here for that!

Mas. But, my good sir, I have not often detained him; not more than twice within a fort

Fos. Well, don't you do it again-that's all!

Mas. But, sir, I have only detained him to learn the lessons which he might learn in school; and surely, if

Fos. Well, well, sir! don't you do it again!—that's all I have to say! If he behaves bad, you lick him—only do it in reason. But when school is done, I want him dismissed.

Mas. Sir, I do what I conceive to be my duty; and I serve all my scholars alike; and while I would be willing to accommodate you, I shall do what I think is my duty. (Gathering spirit and gravity, and advancing.) Sir, do I understand you wish me to whip your son for not getting his lesson?

Fos. Yes-no-yes-in reason; I don't want my children's bones broke.

Mus. (Taking from the desk a cowhide.) Do you prefer your son should be whipped to being detained?

Fos. I don't think not getting his lessons is such a dreadful crime. I never used to get my lessons, and old Master Peppermint never used to lick me, and I am sure he never kept me after school; but we used to have schools good for sumfin in them days.-Bill, go to your seat, and behave yourself; and when school is done, you come home. That's all I have to say.

Mas. But stop, my boy! (Speaking to Bill, decidedly.) There happen to be two sides to this question. There is something further to be said, before you go to your seat in this school.

Fos. What! you don't mean to turn him out of school, du ye? (Somebody knocks.)

(A boy steps to the door, and in steps MRS. O'CLARY, who, approaching Fosdick, says,) Is it you that's the schoolmaster, sure? It's I that's after spaking to the schoolmaster. (Curtesying.)

Fos. No; I'm no schoolmaster.

Mas. What is your wish, madam?

Mrs. O' Clary. I wants to spake with the schoolmaster, I do, sir. (Curtesies.)

Mus. Well, madam, (rapping to keep the boys still, who are disposed to laugh,) I am the schoolmaster. What is your wish?