Page images



[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

The Speaker of ditto.—Sir, or Mr. 1766. WHATEVER OBJECTIONS MAY ker.

BE Raised to the teachings or works To the Right Honourable upon etiquette, there can be no sound paker of the House of Commons. argument against a series of simple and

A Member of the House of Commons, brief hints, which shall operate as pretennobled.—Sir.

cautions against mistakes in personal To —, Esq., M.P.

conduct. 1762. THE CLERGY.

1767. Avoid INTERMEDDLING with

the affairs of others. This is a most An Archbishop.—My Lord : May it

common fault.

A number of people ease your Grace. To his Grace the Archbishop of the affairs of some one who is absent.

seldom meet but they begin discussing anterbury; or, To the Most Reverend This is not only uncharitable, but posiather in God, Lord Archbishop tively unjust. 'It is equivalent to trying f Canterbury. A Bishop.My Lord : May it please plicated. Even in the criminal code a

a cause in the absence of the person imour Lordship. To the Right Reverend Father in God, until he is found guilty. Society, how

prisoner is presumed to be innocent Lord Bishop of Oxford. Å Dean.- My Lord : May it please without hearing the defence. Depend

ever, is less just, and passes judgment your Lordship. To the Rev. Dr. Dean of Car- upon it, as a certain rule, that the people

who unite with you in discussing the isle. Archdeacons and Chancellors are ad

affairs of others will proceed to scandressed in the same manner.

dalize you in your absence.

1768, BE CONSISTENT in the avowal The rest of the Clergy.—Sir, Reverend of principles. Do not deny to-day that Sir.

which you asserted yesterday. If you To the Rev. Dr.


do, you will stultify yourself, and your To the Rev.

Street, Lon

opinions will soon be found to have no = don; or, To the Rev. Mr. &c.

weight. You may fancy that you gain 1763. Hints upon Personal favour by subserviency; but so far from Manners.—It is sometimes objected gaining favour, you lose respect. to books upon etiquette that they cause 1769. Avoid FALSEHOOD. There

those who consult them to act with can be found no higher virtue than the · mechanical restraint, and to show in love of truth. The man who deceives

society that they are governed by arbi- others must himself become the victim trary rules, rather than by an intuitive of morbid distrust. Knowing the deperception of what is graceful and ceit of his own heart, and the falsehood polite.

of his own tongue, his eyes must be 1764. This OBJECTION IS UN- always filled with suspicion, and he SOUND, because it supposes that people must lose the greatest of all happiness--· who study the theory of etiquette do confidence in those who surround him.

not also exercise their powers of obser- 1770. THE FOLLOWING ELEMENTS

vation in society, and obtain, by their of manly character are worthy of frei intercourse with others, that freedom quent meditation :

and ease of deportment which society i. To be wise in his disputes. alone can impart.

ii. To be a lamb in his home. 1765. BOOKS UPON ETIQUETTE are ii. To be brave in battle and great in useful, inasmuch as they expound the moral courage. laws of polite society. Experience iv. To be discreet in public. alone, however, can give effect to the v. To be a bard in his chair. precise manner in which those laws are vi. To be a teacher in his household. required to be observed.

vii. To be a council in his nation.

[ocr errors]




viii. To be an arbitrator in his the same sickening, mincing tone is too ofta vicinity.

ix. To be a hermit in his church. x. To be a legislator in his country. xi. To be conscientious in his actions. xii. To be happy in his life. xiii. To be diligent in his calling. xiv. To be just in his dealing. xv. That whatever he doeth be to the will of God.


1771. AVOID MANIFESTATIONS ILL-TEMPER. Reason is given for man's guidance. Passion is the tempest by which reason is overthrown. Under the effects of passion, man's mind becomes disordered, his face disfigured, his body deformed. A moment's passion has frequently cut off a life's friendship, destroyed a life's hope, embittered a life's peace, and brought unending sorrow and disgrace. It is scarcely worth while to enter into a comparative analysis of ill-temper and passion; they are alike discreditable, alike injurious, and should stand equally condemned.

1772. AVOID PRIDE. If you are handsome, God made you so; if you are learned, some one instructed you; if you are rich, God gave you what you own. It is for others to perceive your goodness; but you should be blind to your own merits. There can be no comfort in deeming yourself better than you really are: that is self-deception. The best men throughout all history have been the most humble.

found. Do, pray, good people, do talk i your natural tone, if you don't wish to be utterly ridiculous and contemptible."

1774. WE HAVE ADOPTED THI FOREGOING PARAGRAPH because we approve of some of its sentiments, but chiefly because it shows that persons who object to affectation may go to the other extreme-vulgarity. It is vulgar, we think, to call even the most affected people "Jackanapes, who screw their words into all manner of diabolical shapes." Avoid vulgarity in manner, in speech, and in correspondence. To conduct yourself vulgarly is to offer offence to those who are around you; to bring upon yourself the condemnation of persons of good taste; and to incur the penalty of exclusion from good society. Thus, cast among the vulgar, you be come the victim of your own error.

[ocr errors]

An oath

1775. AVOID SWEARING. is but the wrath of a perturbed spirit. It is mean. A man of high moral standing would rather treat an offence with contempt than show his indignation by an oath. It is vulgar: altogether too low for a decent man. It is cowardly implying a fear either of not being believed or obeyed. It is ungentlemanly. A gentleman, according to Webster, is a genteel man-well-bred, refined. It is indecent: offensive to delicacy, and extremely unfit for human ears. It is foolish. "Want of decency is want of sense.' It is abusive-to the mind which conceives the oath, to the tongue which utters it, and to the person at whom it is aimed. It is venomous: showing a man's heart to be as a nest of vipers; and every time he swears, one of them starts out from his head. It is contemptible: forfeiting the respect of all the wise and good. It is their words into all manner of diabolical wicked: violating the Divine law, and shapes, could only feel how perfectly disgust-provoking the displeasure of Him who ing they were, it might induce them to drop will not hold him guiltless who takes it. With many, it soon becomes such a con- His name in vain. firmed habit that they cannot again be taught to talk in a plain, straightforward, manly way. In the lower order of ladies' boardingschools, and, indeed, too much everywhere,

1773. AFFECTATION IS A FORM OF PRIDE. It is, in fact, pride made ridiculous and contemptible. Some one writing upon affectation has remarked as follows:


"If anything will sicken and disgust a man, it is the affected, mincing way in which some people choose to talk. It is perfectly nauseous. If these young jackanapes, who screw


tion, decorum, and neatness distinguish
the gentleman; he is at all times affable,
diffident, and studious to please. In-




[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

igent and polite, his behaviour is 1779. HAVING LAID DOWN THESE isant and graceful. When he enters GENERAL PRINCIPLES for the governdwelling of an inferior, he en- ment of personal conduct, we will

to hide, if possible, the dif- epitomize what we would still en-
ence between their ranks in life; ever force :-
lling to assist those around him, he 1780. Avoid IDLENESS-it is the
neither unkind, haughty, nor over- parent of many evils. Can you pray,
aring. In the mansions of the rich, * Give us this day our daily bread,
e correctness of his mind induces him and not hear the reply, “Do thou this

bend to etiquette, but not to stoop to day thy daily duty”?
'ulation; correct principle cautions 1781. Avoid TELLING IDLE TALES,
m to avoid the gaming-table, in which is like firing arrows in the dark:
riety, or any other foible that could you know not into whose heart they
casion him self-reproach. Gratified may fall.
ith the pleasures of reflection, he 1782. AVOID TALKING ABOUT YOUR-
ajoices to see the gaieties of society, SELF, praising your own works, and
nd is fastidious upon no point of little proclaiming your own deeds. If they
mport. Appear only to be a gentleman, are good they will proclaim themselves;
„nd its shadow will bring upon you con- if bad, the less you say of them the
empt; be a gentleman, and its honours better.
vill remain even after you are dead. 1783. Avoid Envy; for it cannot

1777. The HAPPY Man, or True benefit you, nor. can it injure those GENTLEMAN.

against whom it is cherished.

1784. Avoid DISPUTATION for the How happy is he born or taught, That serveth not another's will,

mere sake of argument. The man who Whose armour is his honest thought,

disputes obstinately, and in a bigoted And simple truth his only skill :

spirit, is like the man who would stop

the fountain from which he should Whose passions not his masters are, drink. Earnest discussion is commend

Whose soul is still prepared for death, able; but factious argument never yet Not tied unto the world with care

produced a good result. Of prince's ear, or vulgar breath :

1785. BE KIND IN LITTLE THINGS. Who hath his life from rumours freed,

The true generosity of the heart is
Whose conscience is his strong retreat;

more displayed by deeds of minor kind-
Whose state can neither flatterers feed,
Nor ruin make oppressors great :

ness, than by acts which may partake

of ostentation. Who God doth late and early pray

1786. BE POLITE. Politeness is More of His grace than gifts to lend ;

the poetry of conduct—and like poetry, And entertains the harmless day

it has many qualities. Let not your With a well-chosen book or friend !

politeness be too florid, but of 'that This man is freed from servile bands

gentle kind which indicates a refined Of hope to rise or fear to fall;

nature. Lord of himself, though not of lands,

1787. BE SOCIABLE-avoid reserve And having nothing, yet hath all.

in society. Remember that the social Sir Henry Wotton, 1530.

elements, like the air we breathe, are 1778. BE HONEST. Not only be- purified by motion. Thought illucause “honesty is the best policy,” but mines thought, and smiles win smiles. because it is a duty to God and to man. 1788. BE PUNCTUAL. One minute The heart that can be gratified by dis- too late has lost many a golden opporhonest gains; the ambition that can be tunity. Besides which, the want of satisfied by dishonest means; the mind punctuality is an affront offered to the that can be devoted to dishonest pur- person to whom your presence is due. poses, must be af the worst order.


[ocr errors]





[ocr errors]



at en









is 1


1 T


[ocr errors]


may be said to apply to the moral cannot fail to discover. (See HINTS
conduct, rather than to the details of ETIQUETTE, No. 1696, p. 241.)
personal manners. Great principles,
however, suggest minor ones; and
hence, from the principles laid down,
many hints upon personal behaviour
may be gathered.

1790. BE HEARTY in your salutations, discreet and sincere in your friendships.

1791. PREFER TO LISTEN rather than to talk.

1792. BEHAVE, EVEN IN THE PRESENCE of your relations, as though you felt respect to be due to them. 1793. IN SOCIETY NEVER FORGET that you are but one of many.

1784. WHEN YOU VISIT A FRIEND, conform to the rules of his household; lean not upon his tables, nor rub your feet against his chairs.

1795. PRY NOT INTO LETTERS that are not your own.

1796. PAY UNMISTAKEABLE RESPECT to ladies everywhere.

1797. BEWARE OF FOPPERY, and of silly flirtation.

1798. IN PUBLIC PLACES be not too pertinacious of your own rights, but find pleasure in making concessions.

1799. SPEAK DISTINCTLY, look at the person to whom you speak, and when you have spoken, give him an opportunity to reply.

1809. WE OUGHT, HOWEVER, TO BE 1800. AVOID DRUNKENNESS as you CAUTIOUS, and not upon any account would a curse; and modify all appe- to allow a child pastry, confectionery, tites, especially those that are acquired. cheese, heavy dishes made of boiled or 1801. DRESS WELL, but not super-baked flours, onions, horseradish, musfluously; be neither like a sloven, nor like a stuffed model.

1802. KEEP AWAY ALL UNCLEANLY APPEARANCES from the person. Let the nails, the teeth, and, in fact, the whole system receive salutary rather than studied care. But let these things receive attention at the toilette-not elsewhere.

1803. AVOID DISPLAYING EXCESS OF JEWELLERY. Nothing looks more effeminate upon a man.

s o'e

1805. Children.-Happy ind is the child who, during the first per of its existence, is fed upon no oth aliment than the milk of its mother, that of a healthy nurse. If other foc become necessary before the child h acquired teeth, it ought to be of liquid form for instance, biscuits stale bread boiled in an equal mixture of milk and water, to the consistence d a thick soup; but by no means eve this in the first week of its life.

1806. FLOUR OR MEAL ought neve to be used for soup, as it produces viscid humours, instead of a wholesome nutritious chyle.

1807. AFTER THE FIRST SIX MONTHS, weak veal or chicken broth may be given, and also, progressively, vegetables that are not very flatulent: for instance, carrots, endive, spinach, parsnips, with broth, and boiled fruit, such as apples, pears, plums, and cherries.

1808. WHEN THE INFANT IS WEANED, and has acquired its proper teeth, it is advisable to let it have small portions of meat, and other vegetables, as well as dishes prepared of flour, &c., so that it may gradually become accustomed to every kind of strong and wholesome food.

1804. EVERY ONE OF THESE SUGGESTIONS may be regarded as the centre of many others, which the earnest mind

tard, smoked and salted meat, especially pork, and all compound dishes; for the most simple food is the most wholesome.

1810. POTATOES should be allowed only in moderation, and not to be eaten with butter, but rather with other vegetables, either mashed up or in broth.

1811. THE TIME OF TAKING FOOD is not a matter of indifference; very young infants make an exception; for, as their consumption of vital power is more rapid, they may be more frequently indulged with aliment.

1812. IT IS, HOWEVER, ADVISABLE to accustom even them to a certain



[ocr errors]

uarity, so as to allow them their 1816. WITH RESPECT TO DRINK, uals at stated periods of the day; physicians are decidedly against giving it has been observed that those it to children in large quantities, and at dren which are fed indiscriminately irregular periods, whether it consists of pugh the whole day, are subject the mother's milk, or any other equally lebility and disease. The stomach mild liquid. uld be allowed to recover its tone,

1817. IT IS IMPROPER and pernicious I to collect the juices necessary for to keep infants continually at the breast; estion, before it is supplied with a and it would be less hurtful, nay, even w portion of food.

judicious, to let them cry for a few 1813. THE FOLLOWING ORDER OF nights, rather than to fill them incesVING Food to children has been found santly with milk, which readily turns oper, and conducive to their health : sour on the stomach, weakens the diges- After rising in the morning, suppose tive organs, and ultimately generates pout six o'clock, a moderate portion scrofulous affections.

lukewarm milk, with well baked 1818. IN THE LATTER PART OF read, which should by no means be The First YEAR, pure water may occaew; at nine o'clock, bread with some sionally be given; and if this cannot be uit, or, if fruit be scarce, a small procured, a light and well-fermented uantity of fresh butter; about twelve table beer might be substituted. Those 'clock, the dinner, of a sufficient quan- parents who accustom their children to ity ; between four and five o'clock, drink water only, bestow on them a ome bread with fruit, or, in winter, fortune, the value and importance of he jam of plums, as a substitute for which will be sensibly felt through ruit.

life. 1814. ON THIS Occasion, CHILDREN

1819. MANY CHILDREN ACQUIRE A should be allowed to eat till they are HABIT OF DRINKING during their meals; satisfied, without surfeiting themselves, it would be more conducive to digestion that they may not crave for a heavy if they were accustomed to drink only supper, which disturbs their rest, and after having made a meal. This salutary is productive of bad humours : lastly, rule is too often neglected, though it be about seven o'clock, they may be per- certain that inundations of the stomach, mitted a light supper, consisting either during the mastication and maceration of of milk, soup, fruit, or boiled vegetables the food, not only vitiate digestion, but and the like, but neither meat nor they may be attended with other bad mealy dishes, nor any article of food consequences; as cold drink, when which produces flatulency; in short, brought in contact with the teeth prethey ought then to eat but little, and viously heated, may easily occasion remain awake at least for an hour cracks or chinks in these useful bones, after it.

and pave the way for their carious 1815. IT HAS OFTEN BEEN CON- dissolution. TENDED THAT BREAD is hurtful to 1820. IF WE INQUIRE INTO THE children ; but this applies only to new Cause which produces the crying of bread, or such as is not sufficiently infants, we shall find that it seldom baked; forinstance, nothing can be more originates from pain, or uncomfortable hurtful or oppressive than rolls, muffins, sensations; for those who are apt to and crumpets.

Good wheaten bread, imagine that such causes must always especially that baked by the aërated pro- operate on the body of an infant, are cess, is extremely proper during the first egregiously mistaken; inasmuch as they years of infancy : but that made of rye, conceive that the physical condition, or a mixture of wheat and rye, would together with the method of expressing be more conducive to health after the sensations, is the same in infants and age of childhood.


« PreviousContinue »