The World's Best Humorous Anecdotes: Wit and Repartee Selected from Many Sources and Arranged TopicallyGeorge H. Doran Company, 1923 - 261 pages |
From inside the book
Results 1-5 of 71
Page 19
... girl ; " yes , ma'am , he sholy am literary . He jes ' nat'ally littahs things all ovah this yer house . " - Selected . NOT AN INSPIRATION Wife of author ( hearing the sound of a brow being slapped ) .— " O Harold ! An inspiration ...
... girl ; " yes , ma'am , he sholy am literary . He jes ' nat'ally littahs things all ovah this yer house . " - Selected . NOT AN INSPIRATION Wife of author ( hearing the sound of a brow being slapped ) .— " O Harold ! An inspiration ...
Page 23
... GIRL Oldboy- " What's become of the old - fashioned girl who used to say ' Ask father ' ? " Newguy- " She now has a daughter who says , ' Give it more gas , George ; the old man is gaining on us . ' ” — The Lamb . AVIATION A STRANGE ...
... GIRL Oldboy- " What's become of the old - fashioned girl who used to say ' Ask father ' ? " Newguy- " She now has a daughter who says , ' Give it more gas , George ; the old man is gaining on us . ' ” — The Lamb . AVIATION A STRANGE ...
Page 31
... girl , who had been listening , took the wind out of her father's sails with the observation : " Yes , sir , and sometimes we get some , too . " - Selected . A STRANGE SUNSET Mr. Swankley had been a great traveler and couldn't keep ...
... girl , who had been listening , took the wind out of her father's sails with the observation : " Yes , sir , and sometimes we get some , too . " - Selected . A STRANGE SUNSET Mr. Swankley had been a great traveler and couldn't keep ...
Page 33
... girl . " A revolving fragment of the Paleozoic Age collects no cryptoge amous vegetation , " replied her cousin from Girton . - Selected . COLLEGE DAIRYING " What are you giving your cows now in the way of galacta- gogues ? " asked the ...
... girl . " A revolving fragment of the Paleozoic Age collects no cryptoge amous vegetation , " replied her cousin from Girton . - Selected . COLLEGE DAIRYING " What are you giving your cows now in the way of galacta- gogues ? " asked the ...
Page 41
... girls to maul and tease is called Maltese cats . Some cats is known by their queer purrs- these are called Pursian cats . Cats with bad tempers is called Angorrie cats . Cats with deep feelin's is called Feline cats . " - Selected . HOW ...
... girls to maul and tease is called Maltese cats . Some cats is known by their queer purrs- these are called Pursian cats . Cats with bad tempers is called Angorrie cats . Cats with deep feelin's is called Feline cats . " - Selected . HOW ...
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Popular passages
Page 212 - Now Philip was of Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. 45 Philip findeth Nathanael, and saith unto him, We have found him, of whom Moses in the law, and the prophets, did write, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph. 46 And Nathanael said unto him, Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth ? Philip saith unto him, Come and see.
Page 158 - Are you willing to swear that you know more than half of them?
Page 121 - He is just like his father — you have to learn him with a club. Pound nolege into him. I want him to get it and don't pay no attention what his father says — I'll handle him.
Page 270 - Lindsey was lunching one very hot day, when a politician paused beside his table. "Judge," said he, "I see you're drinking coffee. That's a heating drink. Did you ever try gin and ginger ale ?" "No," said the Judge, smiling, "but I have tried several fellows who did."— Selected.
Page 87 - What is the secret of success?" asked the Sphinx. "Push," said the Button. "Never be led," said the Pencil. "Take pains," said the Window. "Always keep cool," said the Ice. "Be up to date," said the Calendar. "Never lose your head,
Page 137 - Is that true?" asked the judge, turning to the man with the mussed-up face. "Sure, it's true," said the accuser. "I called him a liar because he is one, and I can prove it.
Page 232 - He can take a short course; it all depends on what you want to make of him. When God wants to make an oak he takes a hundred years, but he takes only two months to make a squash.
Page 275 - An English lord, who had just arrived from England, was talking to an American Boy Scout. "My grandfather," he said, "was a very great man. One day Queen Victoria touched his shoulder with a sword and made him a lord." "Aw, that's nothin'," the Boy Scout replied. "One day Red Wing, an Indian, touched my grandfather on the head with a tomahawk and made him an angel.
Page 239 - Owing to my ill health, I will sell at my residence, in township 19, range 18, according to the government survey, one plush raspberry cow, aged 8 years. She is of undoubted courage and gives milk frequently. To a man who does not fear death in any form she would be a great boon. She is very much attached to her present home with a stay chain, but she will be sold to any one who agrees to treat her right.
Page 20 - you must have been walking very carelessly. I am a very careful driver. I have been driving a car for seven years.