The World's Best Humorous Anecdotes: Wit and Repartee Selected from Many Sources and Arranged TopicallyGeorge H. Doran Company, 1923 - 261 pages |
From inside the book
Results 1-5 of 77
Page 21
... WOMAN ALL RIGHT First Officer- " Did you get that fellow's number ? " Second Officer- " No ; he was going too fast . " First Officer- " Say , that was a fine - looking dame in the car . " Second Officer- " Wasn't she ? " - Puck ...
... WOMAN ALL RIGHT First Officer- " Did you get that fellow's number ? " Second Officer- " No ; he was going too fast . " First Officer- " Say , that was a fine - looking dame in the car . " Second Officer- " Wasn't she ? " - Puck ...
Page 22
... Woman ( to new chauffeur ) — " Do you know how to run a lawn- mower ? " Chauffeur- " No , ma'am , I don't . My eddikation has been limited to cars , biplanes and submarines . " - Boston Globe . THE ONLY DRAWBACK " Land sakes ...
... Woman ( to new chauffeur ) — " Do you know how to run a lawn- mower ? " Chauffeur- " No , ma'am , I don't . My eddikation has been limited to cars , biplanes and submarines . " - Boston Globe . THE ONLY DRAWBACK " Land sakes ...
Page 29
... Woman's Household Kitchen Culinary Cuisine League , and I'm making a coast - to - coast trip testing the favorite recipe of de most prominent lady in each town . ” — Judge . AN URGENT REQUEST Gentleman of the Road .- " Kindly help a ...
... Woman's Household Kitchen Culinary Cuisine League , and I'm making a coast - to - coast trip testing the favorite recipe of de most prominent lady in each town . ” — Judge . AN URGENT REQUEST Gentleman of the Road .- " Kindly help a ...
Page 35
... woman you just bowed to ? " Mrs. Bensonhurst : " Oh , she's my next door neighbor . " " But she didn't return your bow . " " No ; she never returns anything . " - Selected . A GREAT CALAMITY " When we first came here , " said a Dakota ...
... woman you just bowed to ? " Mrs. Bensonhurst : " Oh , she's my next door neighbor . " " But she didn't return your bow . " " No ; she never returns anything . " - Selected . A GREAT CALAMITY " When we first came here , " said a Dakota ...
Page 36
... woman who had just deposited some money in the bank for the first time was instructing a friend in the mysteries of the proceedings . " But , " said the other , " after you put the money in the bank , is it so easy to draw it out ...
... woman who had just deposited some money in the bank for the first time was instructing a friend in the mysteries of the proceedings . " But , " said the other , " after you put the money in the bank , is it so easy to draw it out ...
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Popular passages
Page 212 - Now Philip was of Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. 45 Philip findeth Nathanael, and saith unto him, We have found him, of whom Moses in the law, and the prophets, did write, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph. 46 And Nathanael said unto him, Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth ? Philip saith unto him, Come and see.
Page 158 - Are you willing to swear that you know more than half of them?
Page 121 - He is just like his father — you have to learn him with a club. Pound nolege into him. I want him to get it and don't pay no attention what his father says — I'll handle him.
Page 270 - Lindsey was lunching one very hot day, when a politician paused beside his table. "Judge," said he, "I see you're drinking coffee. That's a heating drink. Did you ever try gin and ginger ale ?" "No," said the Judge, smiling, "but I have tried several fellows who did."— Selected.
Page 87 - What is the secret of success?" asked the Sphinx. "Push," said the Button. "Never be led," said the Pencil. "Take pains," said the Window. "Always keep cool," said the Ice. "Be up to date," said the Calendar. "Never lose your head,
Page 137 - Is that true?" asked the judge, turning to the man with the mussed-up face. "Sure, it's true," said the accuser. "I called him a liar because he is one, and I can prove it.
Page 232 - He can take a short course; it all depends on what you want to make of him. When God wants to make an oak he takes a hundred years, but he takes only two months to make a squash.
Page 275 - An English lord, who had just arrived from England, was talking to an American Boy Scout. "My grandfather," he said, "was a very great man. One day Queen Victoria touched his shoulder with a sword and made him a lord." "Aw, that's nothin'," the Boy Scout replied. "One day Red Wing, an Indian, touched my grandfather on the head with a tomahawk and made him an angel.
Page 239 - Owing to my ill health, I will sell at my residence, in township 19, range 18, according to the government survey, one plush raspberry cow, aged 8 years. She is of undoubted courage and gives milk frequently. To a man who does not fear death in any form she would be a great boon. She is very much attached to her present home with a stay chain, but she will be sold to any one who agrees to treat her right.
Page 20 - you must have been walking very carelessly. I am a very careful driver. I have been driving a car for seven years.