I trusted he would not leave me at the last. It is a miracle that I am spared. I am filled with wonder! I can only say, Lord, this life I devote all to thee.'

In this room I have passed, and am passing, some most delightful days. I cannot think of the kindness of all my friends, without the greatest wonder. It makes me very humble. I have had one overflowing stream of blessings, ever since the commencement of my illness. All my wants have been anticipated. The kindest friends have been around my bed-side-the best care has been taken of me. Every thing that love could devise, has been done. My dear Mrs. Fitch came all the way from New Haven, and took care of me a night and a day. O, my cup has been full of blessings! The loveliest flowers have bloomed on my table, and the choicest fruits, since I began to recover, have been before me. But this is not the half.

It has pleased my Heavenly Father to give me a more happy and peaceful spirit than I have ever before enjoyed. I have the sweetest verses and hymns in my memory, and my communings on my bed have been most precious. The dark valley of death, looks not so dark, since I have been so near it, and heaven seems near all the time.

I have yet many sins over which to mourn, but it seems as though my Saviour permits me to lay my head on his bosom, and weep over them there, and supplicate grace and pardon for myself and all my dear friends. I love my friends and every body, and every thing, ten thousand times more than I did before. The sun never shone so brightly, nor the moon so peacefully; and yet I love God, and Jesus, and heaven, as much better. The Bible never seemed half so precious. I can only look to God, and pray him to keep me close under the shadow of his wing, since it seems his will I should live a little longer here. I think this is one of the lessons I needed to learn before entering on my labors

in a distant land.

Of these I think much. And I have sweet thoughts of my absent friend. I thought of him when I supposed myself dying, and did wish to see him; but I can trust that all to my Father's care and keeping."

I sat down in the

"Sabbath afternoon, Oct. 17th. I have been longing to go again to church. This is my fifth Sabbath at home; yet I have enjoyed my Sabbaths at home very much. Today has been uncommonly beautiful. The late frosts have turned the leaves golden and brown. parlor after the people had gone to church, and with the bright sunshine looking down through the fading foliage, I committed the fifteenth chapter of John. I had some sweet thoughts then. I do think I thirst for the streams of holiness. I fear to mingle again with the world, for my heart will not be so quiet, when its hum is in my ear. O, my God, never let me stray, but make me abide always under the shadow of thy wing. O, my Saviour, preserve me against the first approach of worldliness. I want to think more of my missionary labors, and cultivate such a spirit, as will best prepare me for future usefulness.

And now, I commit my soul into the hands of my Saviour. I do wish to devote myself and my all to his service. Poor and unworthy as I am, I do love and trust him.

I am still unable to go out, but I sit in my room, doing various little things; resuming my duties as my strength will allow, and thanking God for renewing my life so rapidly. I do bless my Father in Heaven, for the precious hours I have had during the past week."

"Sunday evening, Oct. 24th. I hope my day at home has been profitable. Last evening, had a sweet season of preparation, and then a refreshing sleep prepared me for the day's duties. Have thought much to-day of Jesus'

dying love, and have prayed over my ingratitude. I have not the joyful frame I sometimes have had; but I am satisfied if I can lay this poor, aching, sinful heart at the feet of Jesus, and know that he will pardon my ingratitude. I can trust him. I do believe on him. I do love him. I do devote my life to his blessed service. May he give me strength to overcome every sinful desire, to renounce every selfish interest.

I have had many delightful seasons alone this week, but last night when I reviewed it, I was startled to find I had been so remiss in duty. It is of His mercy that I am not consumed. A year since, if I had passed such a week, I should have thought myself well off, and should have praised God for it. But now, though I do thank God for the little light I have, I find so much darkness and corruption within, that I can only say, 'God be merciful to me a sinner.' I long to be free from this bondage of sin; but there is contention in my heart, and evil wars with the good. In the midst of all I pray to Jesus, and there is my comfort. Sometimes I think my selfishness is breaking up, and again some new display, damps my hope. But I will go on, and my weakness will be made strength through Christ. Let me remember all who have struggled, and yet have been borne safely through. Let me remember all that Christ has done for me-—all that he will do. I can lift up

my heart and take courage.

My Sabbath-school class came to see me on Wednesday. Had a precious season with them. O, may they all be lambs of the fold. M. W.* left on Thursday, and I am indeed lonely. I pray God my true comfort may be found in doing his will; then I can look forward to heaven as the place where friendship may be perfected. Dr. Parker, from China, was here on Friday. I was overwhelmed with

A young lady who had spent several months with Mary.

the welcome and benediction he gave me—a welcome into the missionary field, and a blessing on my labor. I was ready to sink, and could only pray I might be worthy to receive such high honor."

time.

"Thursday, Oct. 28th. Yesterday I rode for the first The leaves are fast falling, the sky wears its smoky hue-it is our Indian summer. While riding, I thanked God that I breathed in the open air once more. These autumn days, to which I looked forward, I have not been able to enjoy in the open air, but I have watched from my window the fading leaves, and the lovely autumn sky, which seems to shed a radiance so like heavenly light.

I watched for the evening star at twilight, and saw it for the first time this fall. Its gentle light brought thoughts of other days. How I watched that star last winter! My first twilight musings were, when it was looking down upon me, and seeming to woo my perplexed and troubled heart to Him who is the comfort and guide of all. I bless its light again. It brings hours of peace to my mindhours I shall ever thank God for. I love to dwell on the scenes of last winter. Many a struggle I have had since then, but it does seem, that since that time my course has been onward."

"Sabbath, October 31st. This morning, had many precious thoughts, and wrote down a short account of the revival last winter, besides reading a portion in Doddridge. This afternoon, spent the time in prayer, and reading in the Bible- -some portions of Isaiah, and also the last chapters of John. Learned the twelfth of Isaiah, a beautiful chapter. I have committed recently, the 14th, 15th and 16th chapters of John, and like to fix these interesting portions of Scripture in my memory. I have been free from

distracting thoughts of any kind to-day. I am thankful for the precious season.

We are enjoying some of the loveliest days I have ever known in autumn. While looking abroad, the past, with all its deeply interesting events, comes into my mind, and fills it with strange emotions, which I cannot describe. It is neither pain nor pleasure. It is the spirit of the long gone years, and whether to let it come or not, I do not know. O, my Saviour, do thou purify all my feelings, that my soul may be a fit temple for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. I do earnestly desire, that every thing I feel and do, may prepare me for usefulness in the cause of Him who has loved me and given himself for me. And while I remain in this dear country, may I so live, that I shall be satisfied in reflecting on my course, from a distant land. Jesus, I give my all to thee. May I make thee, all.”

EXTRACTS

FROM A BRIEF SKETCH OF THE REVIVAL IN HER FATHER'S CONGREGATION, IN THE WINTER OF 1841, TO WHICH ALLUSION IS MADE IN THE JOURNAL.

"Sabbath morning, Oct. 31st, 1841. For a few weeks past, thoughts of that precious season of refreshing, which the Lord mercifully granted us last winter, have been continually in my mind. The return of the evening star to its accustomed winter place, has been one among the many circumstances, to call up those blessed days; for while they were passing, my most delightful hour was, when musing just before service, beneath the light of that one star. Its clear, mild beams seemed to point to the regions of holiness and peace. It was then that I first learned to be truly happy-then, that I first felt the true blessedness of the believer's hope.* I welcome its beams again in the

*Not that she then, for the first time was truly a Christian, but that she took more enlarged views of the Christian's hopes and privileges. See p. 145.