Handicap Two Irishmen arranged to fight a duel with pistols. One of them was distinctly stout, and when he saw his lean adversary facing him he raised an objection. "Bedad!" he said, "I'm twice as big a target as he is, so I ought to stand twice as far away from him as he is from me." "Be aisy now," replied his second. "I'll soon put that right.' Taking a piece of chalk from his pocket he drew lines down the stout man's coat, leaving a space between them. "Now," he said, turning to the other man, "fire away, ye spalpeen, and remember that any hits outside that chalk line don't count." -Lippincott's. TRIXIE (a bit late in arriving)-"Well, girls, whom are you knocking now?" BELLE "We were all here but you, dear!" The Light Weight's Revenge A CONDUCTOR Weighing three hundred pounds stood before a weak little man and demanded: "Ticket, sir!" Red-faced and desperate the little man dived here and there into pockets and satchels and umbrellas but could not find his ticket. "Now look-a-heah", thundered the conductor, "you've got just one of three things to do. You can pay your fare, produce your ticket, or get off this train." About that time, the ticket was found. The little man grinned, threw back his shoulders and said: "Now look-a-heah. You've got just one of three things to do: You can exercise more, eat less, or bust."-Harper's Weekly. E ARMY BUYING AUTOS VEN before the outbreak of the war in Europe our Government had determined to enter the market as a big purchaser of war automobiles. About the only effect the war may be expected to have on the automobile industry, aside from acting as a spur to induce more liberal purchases, will be to in termed tractors for special services. Conspicuous in this category are the motor ambulances, several of which are already in service with the Army; searchlight trucks, such as have given a good account of themselves at the recent maneuvers; and the nation's newest war automobile, a so-called "radio tractor." IS THERE NOTHING NEW N prehistoric times, when the mammoth roamed the land, primitive man, when not engaged in trying to find food, was busy escaping the strange monsters that surrounded him, and he had little leisure to devote to invention. Yet in his work of fortifying the entrance to his cavern with stones, or of conveying thither the trophies of the chase, he must often have wished for means to lighten his labors. Through what actual mental processes he went, of course we do not know, but we can imagine the day when some ingenious cave-dweller hit upon the first idea of a wheelbarrow. For the wheel he probably used a flat round stone, chiseled and smoothed in the bed of some rushing torrent. In any event, he conceived the idea, and from the necessary materials built the first great labor-saver. From that moment he proved himself a benefactor to his tribe. Despite this fact, we can imagine that, among the horde of tousled-headed, projecting-jawed men that swarmed out of their holes in the cliff, there was some wiseacre who announced that he had "thought of that long ago." He was the first man to minimize the work of others by in timating that there is nothing new. under the sun. "Nothing new under the sun!" That is a phrase that has come down through the ages, but when we reflect, every now and then, upon the wealth of ideas that the minds of men are bringing forth in a never-ending stream, we are much inclined to doubt the truth of the proverb, and to maintain that there is something new under the sun. For example: After baffling the inventors of the world ever since the problem was conceived, a method of submarine signaling has at last been developed by an American genius. With this apparatus, ships may telegraph one to another through the depths of the ocean by means of the Morse code, when thirty miles apart. Speech can be had half a mile distant under the same conditions; and the proximity of icebergs may be detected. So remarkable is this invention regarded, that the United States Government has co-operated with the inventor by freely lending him the use of revenue cutters, submarines, and battleships, for his experiments. A full account of this will be one of the many new things you will find in April TECHNICAL WORLD. What scoffer at the man of progress ever heard of building a dike to prevent a vast glacier from overwhelming a city? That is the remarkable plan that has been thought out and put into execution by an inventive, energetic man in one of the cities of this continent. With earth, and stone, and willow mattresses, a vast line of fortifications has been thrown up to prevent the recurrence of a great disaster which one year swept a large section of this city into the ocean. This story will appear, for the first time in any magazine, in April TECHNICAL WORLD. It is estimated that one-third of the ships of the British blockading fleet in the North Sea are absent from duty at any one time because of the necessity for coaling. The difficulties of supplying a ship with fuel in a heavy sea have always proved practically insurmountable. Now, another American has produced something new under the sun. His mechanism makes it entirely feasible for a collier to supply another ship with fuel no matter how high the seas may be running. For centuries, life-saving crews for men have been in existence, but who before has ever heard of a life-saving crew for fish? This remarkable organization is an outcome of the complexities of modern life and the necessity of maintaining for the nation an adequate supply of fish food. How this unusual work is carried on will be set forth in an interesting article in April TECHNICAL WORLD. The mystery of why plants and men. grow tall or short has at last been discovered, and the information is now given to the world by a famous scientist. This article-based on this scientist's data-most remarkable for its novel and peculiar features, is to appear in April TECHNICAL WORLD. If you have always regretted that you are of miniature stature, you will find explanation as to the cause. If the corn in your field fails to develop as it should-likewise here is the explanation. Did you ever hear of men mining a mountain of gold? There is a mountain of gold in existence, though you may have thought it had being only in the fairy tales. And here we must admit that, in this particular instance, this idea is not something new under the sun, but only the actual discovery of the mountain and the mining of its gold are new. This is one of the articles you will want to look forward to in the April number of TECHNICAL WORLD. It has usually been the custom for a city's prosecuting attorney to use all his knowledge and ability and his prestige of office to prosecute those unfortunates accused of crime. The counsel appointed by the judge for the defendant, when the latter is too poor to retain an attorney, usually performs his function in a perfunctory manner. A certain Western city has, as one of its officials, a regularly employed public defender. It is his place to see that the accused gets fair play, and in many instances it is not even necessary to bring the case to trial. This is a humane and a new way of treating a very old social problem. You will find an article covering this, among the other good things in our April number. An old weapon put to a new use is often more interesting than something entirely new. It is for this reason we have picked from the exceptionally good list before us, for mention, an article disCussing the use of an ancient weapon in modern warfare. It is the sort of article that stimulates men's inventive faculties and results frequently in the novel application of old principles that practically creates something entirely new. And when you have read these, and fifty other equally fascinating articles in the April TECHNICAL WORLD, we believe you will agree with us that the ancient proverb missed the mark and that there is not only one thing, but many things new under the sun. C CANADIAN PACIFIC BAILWAY COME where rich, fertile soil awaits your plow, and where hogs, sheep, horses and cattle bring big profits. We have your new home ready for you in the fertile Canadian West. Here you have highly productive soil-good climate-ready markets-unexcelled transportation-fine churches and educational facilities-live near established towns-and all the comforts of civilization. You have plenty of wild pasture-you can fatten livestock quicklyyou can carry on farming of the same class that you are accustomed to, and make a whole lot more for your work and investment. You Have Twenty Years to Pay You can pick out rich Canadian land for from $11 to $30 an acre-in irrigation districts from $35. You need only pay one-twentieth down-balance within twenty years, with interest at 6 per cent. Many good farmers in Western Canada have paid for their farms with one crop. Accept $2,000 Loan for Farm Improvements If you want it, in certain specified areas on the Canadian Pacific Railway lines, comprising in all about 3,000,000 acres, providing you are a married man, of farming experience and have sufficient farming equipment to carry on the work, accept $2,000 for farm improvements-no other security than the land itself, and give you twenty years to repay it. This gives you money to provide buildings, build fences, sink a well, etc. Interest only 6 per cent. $1,000 Livestock Advance To settlers in certain specified areas who have been one year in occupation of their land, who have the necessary feed and shelter and can satisfy the Superintendent of Agriculture and Animal Industry that they are possessed of practical experience in the care and handling of livestock, cattle and in some cases sheep, to a value not exceeding $1,000, may be advanced under easy terms. If You Want a Ready Made Farm If you want a place already established-ready to step intoselect one already developed by our agricultural experts. These improved farms have houses and buildings, well and fences; fields are cultivated and in crop. Take twenty years to pay. Write for special terms on this plan, which are exceptionally liberal. We give expert advice by our agricultural specialists. This service is yours-free. This Great Offer Is Based on Good Land To assist settlers on irrigable, improved farms, or land upon which the Company will advance a loan, specially easy terms of payment are offered-particulars on request. The Canadian Pacific offers you the finest land on earth for grain growing, cattle, hogs, sheep and horse raising, dairying. poultry, vegetables and general mixed farming- irrigated lands for intensive farming, other lands with ample rainfall for mixed and grain farming. Livestock Raisers Make Big Incomes You could ask for no better land for fattening stock. You can feed barley and oats with field peas and alfalfa to cattle, sheep and hogs with better results than corn-make sweeter, more solid meat with far less expense. Owing to the generous supply of excellent wild grasses, native hay and other advantageous conditions, Nature works to increase the value of your stock. Cattle diseases are practically unknown. There is no duty on livestock from Canada. Cattle, sheep, horses and hogs bring good big prices and can be raised cheaper than anywhere else. Low-priced lands give you plenty of pasture and feed for fattening steers-raising dual IRRIGATION ALBERTA purpose and dairy cows. This SASKATCHEWAN is an ideal country for dairy- MANITOBA HAND BOOK Information on Business and Industrial Opportunities in Western Canada (Make a cross in square opposite book wanted) H. E. THORNTON, Colonization Agent Canadian Pacific Railway, Colonization Dept. 112 West Adams Street, Chicago, III. Please send me the books indicated above. Name Address Town... |