My gals is as steady as clockwork, and never give cause for much fear, But they come home from school t'other evenin' a-talkin' such stuff as this here: I love,' an' Thou lovest,' an' 'He loves,' an'' Ye love,' an' You love,' an' 'They-’ An' they answered my questions, 'It's grammar'-'twas all I could get 'em to say. Now if 'stead of doin' your duty, you're carryin' matters on so As to make the gals say that they love you, it's just all that I want to know ; Now Jim, the young heaven-built mechanic, in the dusk of the evening before, III. THE BACHELOR'S SALE. DAVIDSON. DREAMED a dream in the midst of my slumbers, And, as fast as I dreamed, it was coined into numbers; My thoughts ran along in such beautiful metre, I'm sure I ne'er saw any poetry sweeter. It seemed that a law had been recently made That a tax on old Bachelors' pates should be laid ; And declared that, to save their own hearts' blood from spilling, But the rulers determined their scheme to pursue, So they set all the bachelors up at vendue. A "Crier" was sent through the town to and fro The auctioneer then at his labor began, And called out aloud, as he held up a man— 'How much for this Bachelor? Who wants to buy ?" The Bachelors all were sold off in a trice, And forty Old Maidens-some younger, some older,— IV. THE SONG OF THE STETHOSCOPE. HERE was a young man in Boston town, He bought him a Stethoscope nice and new, All mounted, and finished, and polished down, With an ivory cap and stopper too. It happened, a spider within did crawl, The first was a bottle-fly, big and blue : Now, being from Paris but recently, This fine young man would show his skill; Some said that his liver was short of bile, He was cramm'd witd tubercles up to the eyes. This fine young man then up stepp'd he, "But since the case is a desperate one, To explore his chest it may be well; Then out his Stethoscope he took, And on it placed his curious ear: "Ma foi!" said he with knowing look, "Why, here is a sound that is mighty queer!" "The bourdonnement is very clear Amphoric buzzing, as I'm alive!” Five doctors took their turn to hear "Amphoric buzzing!" said all the five. "There's empyema beyond a doubt: We'll plunge a trocar in his side : The diagnosis is made out !" They tapped the patient: so he died! There was an Old Lady had long been sick, They all made rhymes with "sighs" and "skies," And loathed their puddings and butter'd rolls; And dieted, much to their friends' surprise, On pickle, and pencils, and chalk, and coals. So fast their little hearts did bound, The frightened insects buzzed the more ! So over all their chests he found "The rale sifflant !"-"the rale sonore !"? He shook his head :- There's grave disease; The Six Young Damsels wept aloud !- The poor young man was all aghast! The price of stethoscopes came down ; And so he was reduced, at last, To practise in a country town. The doctors being very sore, With a knob at the end to kill the flies. Now use your ears, all you that can, But don't forget to mind your eyes; Or you may be cheated, like this young man, V.-SHAMUS O'BRIEN.-A BALLAD OF NINETY J (A CONDENSATION.)—J. SHERIDAN LEFANU. IST afther the war, in the year 'ninety-eight, As soon as the boys wor all scattered and bate, 'Twas the custom, whenever a pesant was got, To hang him by thrial-barrin' sich as was shot. There was trial by jury goin' on by day-light, And the martial-law hangin' the lavins by night. It's them was hard times for an honest gosssoon : If he missed in the judges-he'd meet a dragoon; An' whether the sogers or judges gev sentence. The sorra much time they allowed for repentance. An' its many's the fine boy was then an his keepin', Wid small share iv restin', or atin', or sleepin'; Unsheltered by night, and unrested by day, With the heath for their barrack, revenge for their pay. An' the bravest an' hardiest boy iv them all Was Shamus O'Brien, from the town iv Glingall. For lightness iv fut there was not his peer, For, by gorra, he'd almost outrun the red deer; An' his dancin' was sich that the men used to stare, An' the woman turn crazy, he done it so quare; An', by gorra, the whole world gev it into him there! An' it's he was the boy that was hard to be caught, An' it's often he run, an' it's often he fought. But the fox must sleep some times, the wild deer must rest. Afther many a brave action of power and pride, Now, Shamus, look back on the beautiful moon, And farewell to the friends who will think of you still; And farewell to the girl that would die for your sake. And with irons secured him, refusing all bail. The fleet limbs wor chained, an' the sthrong hands wor bound. An' he laid down his length on the could prison ground. As gentle an' soft as the sweet summer air: Till the tears gathered heavy and thick in his eye. His scorn of their vengeance one moment was lost; Well, as soon as a few weeks was over and gone, The terrible day iv the thrial kem on; An' the court was so full that the people wor bothered, An' the jury sittin' up in their box overhead; An' the judge settled out so detarmined and big, With his gown on his back, and an illigant new wig; The court was as still as the heart of the dead. For one minute he turned his eye round on the throng, An' all held their breath in the silence of dhread, I thought any treason, or did any crime That should call to my cheek, as I stand alone here, Though I stood by the grave to receive my death-blow, But if you would ask me, as I think it like, If in the rebellion I carried a pike, An' fought for ould Ireland from the first to the close, I answer you, yes!—an' I tell you again, Then the silence was great, an' the jury smiled bright, |