ize over his stage of six deal boards, and saw-dust in the boxes. Behold him at his morning levee, then bursting with importance, and swelling like a shirt bleaching in a high wind. "Ahem! Timothy !--This is my court of Apollo, my morning nuisance, my-why, Timothy, I say,—oh, here you come, sir, crawling in like the half-price on a rainy evening-well, sir, who waits?—anybody wanting the manager?" "Oh, yes, lots of them, sir; there's a one-armed man inquires if you want another hand; a wooden-legged man to play the Lame Lover; a real blackamoor for Othello; four Romeos; two Hamlets; one Paul Pry; a Warwick; a Sir John Fallstaff; a Gertrude; one Harlequin; three fools; and a French marquess, to come out in Richard." "All waiting now, eh, Timothy ?" "Yes sir." “Then tell the one-armed man to take to his heels, and the wooden-legged gentleman to hop the twig, and skip to another branch; Harlequin and the Romeos may keep the fools' company, and send me up the blackamoor and the French gentleman-one at a time. The man of color having made his entree, after much grinning and gesticulation, thus addressed the astonished manager-"You, Massa Jonko-man ?-keep playhouse-show fine tragedy?" "Massa Jonkoo-man, why-oh! that's blackeylanguage for acting manager, I suppose I am, sir, at your service. You wish to appear in Othello, I understand, and to do you justice, you will look the part certainly." "Iss, massey, blackey all through, through, no come off when hug. Now me show how act, massa--Othello peech to him father-in-law." "What, with that cursed twang, fellow; do you imagine that the noble Moor spoke after that fashion? however, even let's have it." Upon which Chingaree assumed what might be an elegant attitude among his native tribes, and thus commenced the famous oration to the Venetian senate : "Most potented sir reverences, My very good massa!--dat I take away Old buckra man him daughter, It all true-true-no lie was. Den she marry-I make her my chumchum, The manager could listen no longer--"Well, sir, if the noble Moor did harangue in that fashion, he might well say, 'Rude am I in speech.'” "Oh, de angel he, and you the blacker devil." "You may begone, fellow; for much as the public like novelty, they never could bear your abominable chumchums; and the greatest favor you can do me, is to make your exit as fast as possible." Othello having followed the manager's advice, was very speedily succeeded by the French gentleman, whose ambition was to enact Richard Duke of Glo'ster. "Aha, sare je suis, I am come to surprise you—I shall astonish the town, ma foi! De play has never been persone--it was never perform as I shall perform it. Mais vous etes silent-to all dis you say nothing!" "Then I will say that I shall be extremely happy to have a specimen, monsieur,' "Ecoutes vous, shut your mout, listen, and you shall hear-I speak vid your tongue en perfection-je parlez Inglish just like un Inglishman. Aha, sare, je commence vid de beginning. Richard enter solo-attendez moi, look at me : Now is de winter of our uneasiness Made into a summer by York little boy, dat is, vat you call de son of York; And de dark cloud vhich stick atop of de house, In de bottom of de sea, dead and buried? But as for me, alas! I have de hump upon my back, I have de bandy leg-I am unfashionable; And-for all dis de dog he bark, bow-wow at me, Monsieur, sare, dat is suffice, I hope dat is quite enough." I "Quite enough, and must now bid you a XIX. THE SNEEZING MAN. WARD M. FLORENCE. IND friends, your attention I ask, KIN Though I'm almost ashamed to be seen, By a crowd of such wise looking heads, All the ladies who gaze upon me, I'm sure to burst out in a SNEEZE. My cradle was rocked by a nurse Whose sneezing was worst than my own This curse I would never have known ; That she brought it from over the seas, When boyhood broke forth in its prime Without ever daring to play; But all of the rest of the boys Would skip and play ball at their ease, One eve, I was taking a drive With a lady whose beauty was rare, And I managed to ask her at last, What she thought of the cool evening (sneeze) air. She said, "Tis delightfully grand, There is such a ponderous breeze,"- As I turned aside with my nose, To indulge in a horrible sneeze. I then became bold after this, And thought of the life I had led ; Its loneliness seemed so forlorn That I asked this young damsel to wed, And ere she could answer my words, She said "I should like to be yours, But the hair might be blown off my head, But drove her straight home as you please, I wished her "good night,"-with a sneeze. Now friends, I would pray you be warned Just as soon as you possibly can. You're desirous of raising a breeze, Don't blow on your nose like a horn, And startle the world with a "SNEEZE.' XX. THE DOCTOR AND HIS PUPIL. PUPIL of the Esculapian school Was just prepared to quit his master's rule; Not that he knew his trade, as it appears, But that he then had learned it seven years. Was, when a man was well or ill And how, if sick, he should be trated. One morn he thus addressed his master :- To notice how you do My business I might learn a little faster.” "The thought is happy," the preceptor cries, Away they went, And now behold them at a patient's bed. The master doctor solemnly perused His victim's face, and o'er his symptoms mused; Looked wise, said nothing-an unerring way, When people have nothing to say; Then felt his pulse, then smelt his cane, And paused and blinked, and smelt again, And briefly of his corps performed each motion ; Manoeuvres that for death's platoon are meant. A kind of "Make ready, and present!" At length the patien's wife he thus addressed ;— Skill so prodigious, Bobby too admired, How these same oysters came into his head; "Psha! my dear Bob, the thing was plainSure that can ne'er distaess thy brain? I saw the shells lie underneath the bed." So, wise by such a lesson grown, And to the self-same sufferer paid his court; And to his master made this dread report : "Why, sir' we ne'er can keep this patient under, "A horse!" the elder man of physic cried, "How! think not that in my duty I was idle; Like you, I took a peep beneath the bed, And there I saw a SADDLE and a BRIDLE.” MIN XXI.-DOT BABY OFF MINE. CHARLES F. ADAMS. INE cracious! Mine cracious! shust look here und see A Deutscher so habby as happy can pe. Der beoples all dink dat no brains I haf got, Vas grazy mit trinking, or someding like dot; Id vasn't pecause I trinks lager und vine, Id vas all on aggount off dot baby off mine. Dot schmall leedle vellow I dells you vas qveer; I dells you dot baby vas von off der poys, Says "mama," und "bapa," und somedimes "ah-goo!" Dot vos qvite so schmart as dot baby off mine. He grawls der vloor ofer, und drows dings aboudt, He dumbles der shtairs down, and falls vrom his chair, Mine hair shtands like shquills on a mat borcubine Dere vos someding, you pet, I don'd likes pooty vell; Vhile der chills down der shpine off mine pack quickly goes; Dose leedle shimnasdic dricks vasn't so fine, Dot I cuts oop at nighdt mit dot baby off mine. Vell, deese leedle schafers vas goin' to pe men, XXII.—THE FRENCHMAN AND THE SHEEP'S TROTTERS. MONSIEUR, from the Gallic shore, AN Who, though not over rich, wished to appear so, Came over in a ship, with friends a score Poor emigrants, whose wealth, good lack! Dwelt only on each ragged back Who thought him rich, they heard him oft declare so; For he was proud as Satan's self, And often bragged about his pelf; Aud as a proof-the least That he could give-he promised, when on land, To give a "feast!" The Frenchmen jumped at such an offer, But at the first hotel, on shore, They stopped to lodge and board. But here occurred a grivous bore: |