Lady visitor loq.-"The first time I was invited to Mr. -'s (the Hon. -'s, you know), I was somewhat anxious, but went home flattering myself I had made a creditable impression. Imagine my consternation, when I came to relieve the pocket of my gala-gown, donned for the occasion, at discovering among its treasures a teanapkin, marked gorgeously with the Hon.

-'s

family crest, which had maliciously crept into its depths in order to bring me into disgrace! I have never been able to bring myself to the point of confession, in spite of my subsequent intimacy with the family. If it were not for Joseph's positive assertion to the contrary, I should be of the opinion that his cup of divination conjured itself deliberately and sinfully into innocent Benjamin's sack."

Student loq. (Testimony open to criticism.)—" Met pretty girl on the street yesterday. Sure I had on my 'Armstrong;' had when I left home,-sure as fate; but when I went to pull it off,-by the crown, of course,―to bow to the pretty girl, I smashed in my beaver! How it got there, don't know. Knocked it off. Pretty girl picked it up and handed it to me. Confounded things, anyway!"

Young divine loq.-" While I was in the army, I was in Washington on leave' for two or three days. One night at a party I became utterly bewildered in an attempt to converse, after a long desuetude, with a fascinating woman. I went stumbling on, amazing her more and more, until finally I covered myself with glory by the categorical statement that in my opinion General McClellan could 'never get across the peninsula without a fattle; I beg pardon, madam! what I mean to say is, without a bight.'” School-girl loq.-" When Uncle was President, I

was at the White House at a state dinner one evening. Senator came rushing in frantically after we had been at the table some time. No sooner was he seated

than he turned to aunt to apologize for his delay; and, being very much heated, and very much embarrassed, he tugged away desperately at his pocket, and finally succeeded in extracting a huge blue stocking, evidently of home manufacture, with which he proceeded to wipe his forehead very energetically and very conspicuously. I suppose the truth was that the poor man's handkerchiefs were on a strike,' and thrust forward this homespun stocking to bring him to terms."

School-girl No. 2 loq.-" My last term at F., I was expecting a box of 'goodies' from home. So when the message came, 'An express-package for you, Miss Fannie!' I invited all my specials to come and assist at the opening. Instead of the expected box, appeared a misshapen bundle, done up in yellow wrapping-paper. Four such dejectedlooking damsels were never before seen as we, standing around the ugly old thing. Finally Alice suggested,Open it!'

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"Oh, I know what it is,' I said: 'it is my old thibet, that mother has made over for me.'

"Let's see,' persisted Alice.

"So I opened the package. The first thing I drew out was too much for me.

"What a funny-looking basque !' exclaimed Alice. the rest were struck dumb with disappointment.

"No! not a basque at all, but a man's black satin waistcoat! and next came objects about which there could be no doubt, a pair of dingy old trousers, and a swallowtailed coat! Imagine the chorus of damsels!

"The secret was, that two packages lay in father's office, -one for me, the other for those everlasting freedmen. John was to forward mine. He had taken up the box to write the address on it, when the yellow bundle tumbled off the desk at his feet and scared the wits out of his

head. So I came in for father's second-hand clothes, and the Ethiopians had the 'goodies.'

Repentant Dominie loq.-"I don't approve of it at all, but then, if you must write the wicked thing, I heard a good story for you to-day. Dr. found himself in the pulpit of a Dutch Reformed church the other Sunday. You know he is one who prides himself on his adaptation to places and times. Just at the close of the introductory services, a black gown lying over the arm of the sofa caught his eye. He was rising to deliver his sermon, when it forced itself on his attention again.

"Sure enough,' thought he, 'Dutch Reformed clergymen do wear gowns. I might as well put it on.'

"So he solemnly thrust himself into the malicious (as you would say) garment, and went through the services as well as he could, considering that his audience seemed singularly agitated, and indeed on the point of bursting out into a general laugh, throughout the entire service. And no wonder! The good Doctor, in his zeal for conformity, had attired himself in the black cambric duster in which the pulpit was shrouded during the week-days, and had been gesticulating his eloquent homilies with his arms thrust through the holes left for the pulpit-lamps!"

THE MAN IN THE RESERVOIR.

C. F. HOFFMAN.

[The subjoined story, with its detailed exactness of probable incident, is one of that realistic class which almost convince us of their actual occurrence. We follow the weary circling of the hopeless swimmer with some such holding of the breath as if we actually gazed upon his midnight gyrations. Charles Fenno Hoffman, the author, was born in

New York in 1806. His first published work was "Winter in the West." Much of his literary work was in the domain of poetry, and "as a song-writer," says R. W. Griswold, "no American is comparable to him." He wrote one novel, "Greyslaer," and several stories, of which the one we here give gained great popularity. He died at Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, in 1884.]

You may see some of the best society in New York on the top of the Distributing Reservoir, any of these fine October mornings. There were two or three carriages in waiting, and half a dozen senatorial-looking mothers with young children, pacing the parapet, as we basked there the other day in the sunshine,-now watching the pickerel that glide along the lucid edges of the black pool within, and now looking off upon the scene of rich and wondrous variety that spreads along the two rivers on either side.

They may talk of Alpheus and Arethusa," murmured an idling sophomore, who had found his way thither during recitation-hours, "but the Croton in passing over an arm of the sea at Spuyten-Duyvil, and bursting to sight again in this truncated pyramid, beats it all hollow. By George, too, the bay yonder looks as blue as ever the Egean Sea to Byron's eye, gazing from the Acropolis! But the painted foliage on these crags!-the Greeks must have dreamed of such a vegetable phenomenon in the midst of their grayish olive-groves, or they never would have supplied the want of it in their landscape by embroidering their marble temples with gay colors. Did you see that pike break, sir?"

"I did not."

"Zounds! his silver fin flashed upon the black Acheron like a restless soul that hoped yet to mount from the pool."

"The place seems suggestive of fancies to you," we observed in reply to the rattlepate.

"It is, indeed, for I have done a good deal of anxious thinking within a circle of a few yards where that fish broke just now."

"A singular place for meditation, -the middle of the reservoir!"

"You look incredulous, sir, but it's a fact. A fellow can never tell, until he is tried, in what situation his most earnest meditations may be concentrated. I am

boring you, though?"

"Not at all. But you seem so familiar with the spot, I wish you could tell me why that ladder leading down to the water is lashed against the stone-work in yonder corner?"

"That ladder?" said the young man, brightening at the question; "why, the position, perhaps the very existence, of that ladder, resulted from my meditations in the reservoir, at which you smiled just now. Shall I tell you all

"Well, you have seen the notice forbidding any one to fish in the reservoir. Now, when I read that warning, the spirit of the thing struck me at once, as inferring nothing more than that one should not sully the temperance potations of our citizens by steeping bait in it, of any kind; but you probably know the common way of taking pike with a slip-noose of delicate wire. I was determined to have a touch at the fellows with this kind of tackle.

"I chose a moonlight night; and an hour before the edifice was closed to visitors, I secreted myself within the walls, determined to pass the night on the top. All went as I could wish it. The night proved cloudy, but it was only a variable drift of broken clouds which obscured the moon. I had a walking-cane rod with me