Greek-Orthodox teaching of Christianity, which asserts itself as the only true one, there existed a second teaching of Christianity the Roman Catholic; a thirdthe Lutheran; a fourth-Dissent; all these being at variance. Each one asserted itself as the only true teaching. I knew also that side by side with these Christian teachings, non-Christian teachings also existed-Buddhism, Brahmanism, Mo hammedanism, Confucianism, and others; these also asserting themselves to be true, and all other teachings erroneous. I could neither return to the religion taught me in my childhood, nor believe in any of those professed among other nations, because in all of them were the same contradictions, absurdities, miracles, rejection of all other religions and, above all, the deceit which demands blind confidence in the teaching. After thus becoming convinced that I could not find the solution of my difficulty and the abatement of my sufferings in the existing religions, my despair was such that I was on the verge of suicide. At this point salvation came-salvation, which was this. From childhood I had retained a vague idea that in the Gospel lay an answer to my question. In this teaching in the Gospel, despite all misrepresentations of it in the teaching of the Christian Churches, I felt the presence of truth, and as a last effort, putting aside all interpretations, I began to read and study the Gospel and penetrate its meaning. The further I penetrated, the more clearly a new understanding of the Gospel was revealed to me; quite different from that taught by the Christian Churches, and solving the problem of my life. At length this solution became perfectly clear, and not only clear, but incontestable as well; because, firstly, it harmonised entirely with the demands of my reason and heart, and secondly, when I came to understand it, I saw that this was not my exclusive interpretation of the Gospel (as it might appear), nor even the exclusive revelation of Christ, but the very solution of the problem given more or less explicitly by the best among men both before and after the Gospel was given; a succession from Moses, Isaiah, Confucius, the early Greeks, Buddha, Socrates, down to Pascal, Spinoza, Fichte, Fuerbach and all those, often unnoticed and unknown, who, taking no teachings on trust, thought and spoke sincerely upon the meaning of life. So that, in learning the truth I drew from the Gospel, I was not only not alone, but I was with all the best men of the past and the present. I became confirmed in this truth, and at peace; and I have since with gladness passed through twenty years of life and am with gladness drawing near to death. This solution of the meaning of my life, which gave me full rest and joy of life, I desire to communicate to men. My age and state of health are such that I am with one foot in the grave, and worldly considerations have no meaning for me. Even had they, I know that this exposition of my religion will not contribute either to my worldly profit or reputation, but, on the contrary, may only exasperate and grieve both those unbelievers in religion who request literary work from me and not theological treatises, and those believers in religion who are indignant at all my religious writings, and abuse me for them. Besides, in all probability, this writing will be made. public only after my death.* So that I am urged to what I do, not by wish for gain or fame, nor by any worldly considerations, but only by fear to fail in what is required from me by Him Who has sent me into this world, to Whom I am hourly expecting to return. I therefore beg all those who shall read this to follow and understand my writing, putting aside, as I did, all worldly considerations and holding before them only that eternal Principle of truth and right by Whose will we have come into the world, whence, as beings in the body, we shall very soon disappear; without hurry. or irritation, let them understand and judge what I say. If they disagree, let them correct me; not with contempt and *See Translator's Preface. |