future. I have, within the past week, been unusually unfaithful. Oh, may God now, before I have committed greater sins, and grieved his Holy Spirit more, draw me to himself. I hope He will make me humble. I do want to love and serve him. I am glad that His eye is upon me, sinful as I am, for He will search and try me, remove every evil way from me, and lead me in the way everlasting. He has loved me with an everlasting love, therefore with loving-kindness has He drawn me. I have gone astray like a lost sheep. Seek thy servant, for I do not forget thy commandments. "Nov. 13th.- Sunday evening.- Felt the sermon very deeply, and desired to praise God. The text was, 'I will give you rest,' and was most consoling to my spirit. I could believe that rest is mine, that I have already experienced it in a great degree, and that there is for me 'Rest enduring, rest in heaven.' When our Pastor spoke of the happiness the believer derives from the knowledge that God is his friend, that He controls all the events of his life, and will make all things work together for his good, I could cordially assent to the truth of all he said. I know that I am under the continual guardianship of my Father in heaven-that, notwithstanding all my ingratitude and disobedience, the wing of His protection ever overshadows me. When I returned home, I again sought the mercy of my Redeemer. "I do not wish to forget that visit to the House of Refuge. My heart yearned over those wretched beings, and was filled with prayer for them. The girls sang together the Orphan's Hymn. I was quite overcome by my feelings, and I observed that several of them wept. I could scarcely refrain from telling them of the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sins of the world. "Nov. 27th.- Last Saturday evening we had a most solemn prayer-meeting. I do not know when I have felt so deeply. Sunday was a stormy day, the first, for a long time, that I have spent at home. I knew I should be exposed to the temptation of speaking my own words, and thinking my own thoughts; and fervently implored strength to resist it. I found it very difficult to spend the day profitably; but did try, though I was not as watchful as I ought to have been. In the afternoon came, and we had some serious conversation. I read to her a little while in my dear Bridges. "I have missed my usual Sabbath privileges all the week long. On Wednesday evening the lecture was even more solemn than usual. I saw a great many young girls there, and one whom I have never met in the lecture-room before. I have for a long time made her a subject of prayer, and hope I shall still remember her. "I misspend my time, and yet I hardly know how to arrange it as I ought, for I am exposed to such constant interruption. Oh for wisdom from above, for good judgment and knowledge, and a heart full of love, and of hungering and thirsting after righteousness. Any affliction, any thing rather than the loss of God's approbation-any thing rather than self-deception. I am poor and needy, and I do come to Jesus. He does not reject me, ungrateful and sinful as I am." To a Sister. Nov. 30th, 1835. "Please read the 33d chapter of Ezekiel in reference to the faithful discharge of duty towards others. Though all Christians are not set as 'watchmen unto the house of Israel,' still, it is our duty to bear witness for our Saviour, and it is wrong to wait until we have made very great attainments in religion before we endeavor to persuade others to walk in the narrow path. Let us tell them that we are sensible of our sins, ignorances and infirmities, but our trust is in Jesus, and we desire them to apply to the same blessed source of light and life. Oh, it is a fearful thing to know that those who are all around us, many of whom are endeared by the most tender ties, are on their way to everlasting punishment, and to make no effort to persuade them to accept the offers of salvation! What happiness would it be to be made the means of saving one immortal soul! We ought to take heed concerning this thing, and make it a subject of constant prayer." "Dec. 2d. We have had, this evening, a heart-searching lecture from the text, 'Come and let us walk in the light of the Lord.' I took several of my friends with me, and they detained me so late, that the service was nearly over when we reached the church. This was a great trial to me. Mr. C. desired that we would renewedly consecrate ourselves to the service of our Heavenly Father, on the approaching commemoration of the death and sufferings of our Saviour, and I did it while he was speaking. I resolved that in the strength of the Lord I would go forward. I prayed much for those who were with me. "I feel in a prayerful frame. If I live another day, I hope I shall live nearer to God. I do not always realize His presence. I do not always live for eternity. I am so drawn away by the things that surround me. Oh, that my mind were so fixed upon God, that no conversation, no interruption whatever could interfere with my communion with Him. I lack wisdom, and this night I will ask it of God. And He will give liberally. I will ask in faith. "Sunday, Dec. 13th.-I heard a sermon this morning which caused such excitement of feeling that I am quite weak. It was from our beloved Pastor, whom God does indeed bless in an eminent degree, and whom I bless with all my heart, in the name of the Lord. He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.' During the sermon my heart was lifted up in an agony of prayer for perishing sinners. I trembled lest this warning should fall unheeded on their ears. I asked God to grant that none of my family might be destroyed without remedy. O may I be more faithful in future. I bless God for the feelings he has given me this day. "Sunday evening. Am about to retire, in the possession of the peace of God which passeth understanding. I have passed a very happy evening, most of it alone in my room. O that my heart were full of love to God! Have I not more cause than any one else to love Him? 'Till I can praise Thee as I should, “Dec. 26th. — I have passed a very happy Christmas, and am thankful that I have been taught by the Holy Spirit that this day is not to be devoted to levity, but consecrated to the Lord. I awoke, yesterday, with thankful feelings. I enjoyed the service, sermon and communion very much, and was favored with peaceful and prayerful feelings. I desired, when I knelt at the chancel, to thank my Heavenly Father that He had thus far guided me in the way everlasting. "I had a long talk with one who is truly in nature's darkness, and who considers the light of reason bright enough to illumine his pathway to eternity. I felt my weakness, and did not attempt to argue in my own strength, but constantly lifted up my heart to God. I gave him a little Testament, and he has promised to read it sometimes, but says he has not time to do so every day. "28th.- Sunday evening. I think the institution of the Sabbath is one of the greatest blessings God has ever bestowed upon man, and I am thankful that He enables me, in some manner, to appreciate it. Last evening was spent in preparation for this day. "The Liturgy seemed unusually impressive this morning; it has really been a blessing to my soul. I well remember when I first began to enjoy it. The sermon was solemn, and I felt a little of the value of souls. I am glad to find that I am not so selfish in respect to sermons as when I first became deeply interested in religion. I felt disappointed, then, if the sermon did not refer to my own case; but now my attention is directed to others, more than it once was. "This afternoon my mind did not seem stayed upon God all the time it was not fixed enough. I felt so happy and contented, that I am afraid I was too well satisfied with my feelings, and was not watchful. I had a comfortable season of prayer when I returned home, and enjoyed the Bible; then read and talked to the servants. May my Heavenly Father bless the further duties of this evening, and watch over me through the darkness of the night, for my Saviour's sake!" CHAPTER VIII. 1836. Serenity in Prospect of Death - New-Year Thoughts - Prayer for Guidance in Efforts for the Good of Others- Domestic EnjoymentLetter to a Unitarian - Letter to a Sister on Baptism - Visit to Princeton Letter to a Sister commencing a Christian Life - Visit to Cape May - Letters of Dr. Clark - Temora - Letter on Christian Activity. “OH, how soul-satisfying are the consolations of the Christian!" Such was the dictate of Miss Allibone's full heart, inscribed in her Diary for 1836. And where shall we find a more apt and beautiful illustration of this truth than in herself! "As the sufferings of Christ abounded in her, so her consolation also abounded by Christ." Her Diary for this year expresses repeatedly the conviction that the last enemy would soon triumph in the dissolution of her frail and tottering earthly tabernacle. So strong and constant was this impression, that she might indeed be said to "die daily." She lived consciously upon the borders of eternity, and the ever-present thought solemnized and elevated, but in no degree saddened her soul. Sustaining faith was the precious gift of the Lord to his obedient child. Hence she was "chastened, but not killed-sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.' The record of 1836 discovers the same sweet submission to her Father's will, the same unwavering conviction that the Lord was the portion of her soul, the same exulting delight in the God of her salvation. During this period she was still |