'That all my powers, with all their might, "12th. Yesterday I was offended because I was opposed in an intention I expressed to persuade a professor of religion to stay away from the theatre. I was in great suffering and was irritable. Oh, how much grace I need! I wish to be truly humbled, to depend entirely upon strength from above, since I have none of my own. O Lord, wilt Thou make me more and more humble, and wilt Thou enable me to prize, much more than I ever have done, the merits and mediation of my dear Redeemer. This week I have not enjoyed as much as usual. I think it is because my devotions have been so much interrupted. I must rise earlier. If I were able, I think I would spend several hours in communion with God before breakfast. "13th. Another of my friends has joined the spirits of just men made perfect. He is now with the Lord, and will be with Him forever. Oh, what a blessed transition! There is nothing gloomy in the death of a Christian. "25th. I have felt some holy desires, this evening, and some sweet, peaceful feelings. I have been reading a letter of Miss Jewsbury addressed to a friend who mourns the importance which secondary things possess in this state of existence, and the prevalence of folly and sin, with feelings of morbid sensibility, rather than a desire to amend the evils she deplored. I too have had many sorrowful thoughts on this subject, and I would avail myself of Miss J.'s instructions, and constantly offer at a Throne of Grace the inquiry, 'Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?' and the prayer, that He will make all things work together for good to me, and to each of His children. Why do I not love God more, and serve Him better? Why have I not a more vivid sense of His presence? O may I henceforth seek Him more diligently, and He will give me abundance of grace. "I have been quite sick during the last five or six days not well enough to sit up, and scarcely to read. I have not lived very near my Heavenly Father. I want those interruptions, to which I am so constantly exposed, to do me more good,to make me more watchful and prayerful. When I am unable to leave the room to attend to my devotions, I find great difficulty, but I will offer any kind of prayer rather than none at all. Prayer is, indeed, my vital breath.' How thankful I should be that it is so! Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift!' 66 6 28th, Saturday evening.—What pure and exquisite happiness do I enjoy in the society of my beloved family! My dear mother's bright face and kind words gladden my heart. "Feb. 6th.—I was permitted, yesterday, to partake of the Communion, and very much I enjoyed this ordinance. My mind was at peace and I was very prayerful. I could praise the Lord all day,-I felt more happy than usual, and in the evening, particularly, my heart so overflowed with gratitude that I was constrained to offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving with my dear mother and sisters. "On Friday afternoon I was strong enough to go to Bible class, and found it very profitable. There I heard of another instance of God's goodness in having permitted one of His servants to depart this life in His faith and fear. I love to hear of these things. I could not go to prayer-meeting on Saturday evening, but received a blessing at home. An event occurred, on that evening, which I shall ever remember with gratitude. I am more and more convinced of the sanctifying influence of the doctrines contained in the Bible, and I wish that those who oppose religion on account of the inconsistency of its professors, would examine the Bible and see for themselves what religion is, and then themselves become the living epistles of its truth. How much better this would be! How desirous I feel to exemplify the beauty of holiness, so that I may never injure the cause of Christ. I want to be very humble. Hold Thou me up, and I shall be safe, and I will have respect unto Thy statutes continually.' "10th. The hallowed season of Lent commenced last Wednesday. At twilight I was interrupted in my season of prayer. I hurried up stairs after tea, and was again interrupted. I could not go into a cold room, as it gave me cold before, and all I could do was to be still, and try to commune with God in the presence of others. This had a good effect, for it made me long for heaven, where I shall enjoy uninterrupted and eternal communion with God, through the infinite merits of my Redeemer. "Feb. 26th, Sunday. - My cold heart has been more warmed with spiritual affections this evening, than for a long time past. I greatly desired to go to church, as Confirmation was to be administered; but I knew the exertion would injure me, and my conscience would not let me go. I was so happy as to spend nearly all the evening alone,—yet not alone, for God has been with me. Oh! He is better unto me than all the world beside, and I do desire to live nearer to with many tears, Him. I have been writing a note to urging her to come out on the Lord's side. "March 2d. I have taken upon me a new and very heavy responsibility in becoming sponsor for little K. F. I thought that some one in better health would be more desirable, but Mrs. F. expressed so great a desire that I should assume this office that I did not think it right to refuse. May I be endued with grace to pray constantly and earnestly for this dear child. May I yearn over her in the bowels of Jesus Christ. In life may I set her a holy example, and in death, leave for her benefit a testimony of the faithfulness of a covenant God. "It was interesting to see Mrs. F. standing at the chancel with her six children, consecrating them to the service of Him who gave them to her. May He accept the offering, for the sake of the Friend of little children. "I have made more effort than usual, this day, for the good. of others. I have enjoyed the privilege of conversing with several who fear the Lord, and have received a letter informing me that a prayer-hearing Jehovah has guided one of His children into a path of duty which has been, until recently, very obscure. Wait upon the Lord,' there is nothing like it. I hope I shall be enabled to 'let my life show forth Thy praise,' my Heavenly Father! Forever blessed be Thy holy name. "March 5th, Sunday. - This morning I drew near the table of the Lord, to receive the emblems of His dying love. I felt very prayerful during the service,―very comfortable indeed, though I regretted that I had not brighter views of Christ. The season was a very interesting one. Many new communicants were added to our number; and very affectionately do I pray for them. Our dear Pastor preached a very encouraging sermon. The text was 'Looking unto Jesus.' My heart was softened. I felt that Jesus had been my Friend, my best Friend; that He is even now bestowing upon me blessings which He has purchased with His own precious blood; and I desire to renew my faith, and love and allegiance to His service. 'Jesus, I my cross have taken, All to leave, and follow Thee.' "I have suffered much more pain than usual, to-day. I am thankful for the grace which is given me to endure it, not only with submission, but gratitude. As my sufferings abound so may the grace of God much more abound. May I ever realize that in myself I possess no power of endurance, and may I constantly pray to be 'strengthened unto all long-suffering with joyfulness." The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul. How true is this when the holy wishes of the children of God, for the spiritual good of those who are linked to them by affection's strongest bonds, are gratified! It pleased the Lord to answer the prayers and bless the efforts of the subject of this Memoir, in the conversion of the sister to whom several of the letters heretofore inserted were addressed; one whose bright and beautiful course ended in the perfect day, while Susan was languishing in her chamber. With what vivid emotions of gratitude and delight the latter hailed her sister's entrance into the fold of the Heavenly Shepherd, the following notice in her Diary testifies. In God's salvation how greatly did she rejoice, when He had thus given her her heart's desire, and had not withholden the request of her lips! "10th. The event of last evening will never be forgotten. My dear brother and sister made a public profession of their faith in Christ, promising in His name to renounce the world, the flesh and the devil; and I feel assured that they will be more than conquerors, through IIim who hath loved them and washed them from their sins in His own blood. They will go from strength to strength. At my sister's request, I again assumed the solemn responsibility of a witness. May I be kept by the power of God in the strait and narrow way, so that I may encourage those who have recently set out, to press toward the mark. I wish to be humbled, to be conscious of my unfaithfulness, my helplessness, so that I may never think well of myself, nor trust to my own heart. I do not know how much I need the sanctifying grace of God. Oh Lord, 'be merciful to me a sinner!' Forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of Christ.' To her Sister. March, 1837. "My Precious Sister. Ever beloved, but now doubly dear, may the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord lift up the light of His countenance upon you, even as He has done! I want a new song of adoring gratitude, that I may offer Him an acceptable sacrifice of thanksgiving for His goodness toward you. I am glad that you realize and expect so much grace. The promise is, 'Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.' Only believe,' and all blessings shall be yours. I will, and do pray for you, and even my prayers are heard, for our dear Redeemer's sake; but I feel that I ought to |