CHAPTER XVIII.

Lady Glenorchy goes to Taymouth-Extracts from Diary, from August 8, to September 5, 1779-Lady Glenorchy returns to EdinburghExtracts from Diary, from October 3, 1779, to April 23, 1780— Lady Henrietta Hope accompanies Lady Glenorchy to EnglandLady Glenorchy returns to Scotland, and goes to Taymouth to attend her father-in-law-Extracts from Diary, from May 17, to August 13, 1780-Mr Jones lays the evidence of his ordination before the Presbytery of Edinburgh-Subscribes the Confession of Faith, and Formula-All misunderstanding between Lady Glenorchy and the Presbytery happily terminated-The Rev. Thomas Fleming set. tled at Kenmore-Lady Glenorchy much satisfied with this event— Extracts from Diary, from September 2, to September 10, 1780Lady Glenorchy returns from Taymouth-Sets out for Bath—Extracts from Diary, October 22, to December 31, 1780-Lady Henrietta Hope takes up her residence with Lady Glenorchy-Extracts from Diary, from January 1, to April 30, 1781-Lady Glenorchy purchases and supports a chapel in Carlisle Lady Glenorchy goes to Taymouth for the last time-Extracts from Diary, from July 22, to September 2, 1781.

IMMEDIATELY after the writer's admission to his pastoral charge, Lady Glenorchy set out for Taymouth; and by the following extracts from her Diary at this period it will appear, that her religious experience was on the whole similar to what it had formerly been.

Taymouth, Sunday, August 8.—This day I have joined in celebrating the dying love of Jesus. I hope I was enabled to exercise faith on him as the propitiation and sacrifice for sin, and to plead his broken body and shed blood as sufficient to atone for my sins, and as the procuring cause of every blessing, spiritual and temporal. I endeavoured to give myself up to Jesus as his lawful property, purchased by his blood; and

1779.]

FOR TAYMOUTH

435

and I trust he

begged of him to dispose of me as seemed good in his sight. I besought him to keep me back from doing any thing dishonourable to his name, will hear and answer me in due time. Some parts of the 119th Psalm were very comfortable to me to-day. I felt with the Psalmist an earnest desire to be taught the will and commandments of God;-every verse seemed applicable to me. I believe it is in faithfulness that the Lord has afflicted me, and I have a comfortable hope that my soul shall live, and taste of his loving-kindness in heaven, and enjoy his favour, which is better than life. Let him lift upon me the light of his countenance, and I am content to face a frowning world. Only show me thy will, and give me power and grace to obey it: I ask no more, O ever blessed God!

[Aged 38.] Taymouth, September 2.-How dark and mysterious are thy ways, O Lord, to the children of men! yet we are bound to believe that all thy ways are mercy and truth to such as fear thee. The last year of my life has been deeply marked with judgment and mercy. I have in myself a witness that God is almighty in preserving my life, notwithstanding the diseases of body which I have gone through. I do not yet see the meaning of my trials, but I believe I shall yet praise God for them, and be made to acknowledge, that in faithfulness, and loving-kindness, and in tender mercy, he has afflicted me. My only comfort is in committing my way to the Lord, and trusting in him, that he will do with me whatever is for his glory and my good. I find that my will is subdued, and my desire is, that his whole will may take place.

This year the Lord has graciously vouchsafed me another minister to the chapel, who has been brought

to us in so providential a manner, that I can have no doubt of his being an answer to those prayers put up in faith for this blessing, especially as those we at first cast our eyes upon were prevented from coming by the most uncommon interpositions of Providence. It is satisfactory to reflect, that Mr Jones's call and ordination was carried on in the most scriptural and acceptable manner, and with much ease, the hearts of men being wonderfully turned to it, so that the Lord's hand appeared conspicuous in the whole, agreeable to the petitions every day offered up in my house, that the Lord's hand might appear in it.

I have also had the comfort this year to hear of good being done at Exmouth, and a prospect of that work being established on a permanent footing. Many are the particular mercies I have received from the Lord as an individual; preservation from dangers, recovery from pain and sickness, protection and direction in journeyings, and frequently pleasing and refreshing moments in the ordinances, when by faith I could realize the invisible world, and lay hold on the promise of life eternal in Christ. I have also had comfort in seeing my own past miscarriages, and in viewing the hand of God chastening me in infinite wisdom and mercy, in the way most likely to cure the predominant diseases of my soul; thus convincing me, that it is the rod of a Father that is laid upon me, and that I am not a bastard, but a lawful child, an heir of glory. O, joyful transporting thought! who would not suffer, nay, desire to suffer chastisement, when it is to bring us nearer to God, and render the soul meet to behold and enjoy him. O my God, I desire with my whole heart to submit to thy fatherly correction, and to receive it as a proof of thy tender care for my eternal welfare, I ask not deliverance till the end

1779.]

OF HER BIRTH-DAY.

437

of it is obtained, and every high thought and imagination of my vile heart brought into subjection to Christ. I beseech thee not to leave me to my own devices, or to follow the desires of my carnal heart, but lead me into thy holy will, whatever pain it may give me ;-let my own corrupt will and affections be crucified,-let Christ live in me, that the life I lead henceforward, may be a life of faith on him, receiving from him continual supplies of life, so that it may be no longer I that live, but Christ that liveth in me. If I have erred, convince me of it, that I may humble myself before thee and seek pardon; and do thou overrule my errors for the glory of thy name, and the good of thy people. Dispose of me, and all that is called mine, in the way which seemeth good in thy sight. I would no longer seek honour from the world, but desire that honour which cometh from thee only. O, let me never be ashamed of my hope;-thou art my refuge, my strength, my high tower, my only hope. In thee I desire to put my trust. On thee I depend for deliverance out of my present perplexities and troubles. Surely thou wilt never let me be ashamed.

Sunday, September 5.—We had no public worship this day in church, but the Lord has abundantly made up the loss to me, by permitting me to draw near to him in private prayer, and giving me some sensible communications of life to my soul; giving me the joyful hope of eternal life in Christ Jesus, and causing me to believe the things that are freely given me of God. I also read the Bible with delight, and had some small measure of light thrown on some passages of it, which afforded me delightful meditations. In this way I passed four comfortable hours. Glory be to God for this profitable exercise. O that a sweet savour

of divine things may continue through the week, that every day of it may be a Sabbath to my soul, by my resting in the work of Christ. O for an increase of faith, for more love, for greater degrees of spiritual life and light, that I may go on from strength to strength, till I appear before my God in Zion!

The state of Lady Glenorchy's mind at this period to the end of the year, although on some occasions depressed, yet often rose into high religious enjoyment. Nothing could satisfy her unless all her thoughts, and words, and actions, were conformed to the will of Christ. This, as well as the principal employments in which she was engaged, will appear by the next extracts from her Diary.

Edinburgh, Sunday, October 3.-Through mercy the Lord has brought me again to this place, and permitted me to join this day in the great congregation; but, alas! how cold and insensible is my heart to all his mercies. O to be thankful! O for more seriousness in the things of God, that I may walk continually as in his presence, as seeing him who is invisible! I do experience some measure of faith in approaching him as a reconciled God.

Barnton, October 10.-Once more the Lord has permitted me to come to this place. The day I came I was seized with a cold and fever, which con fined me to my room for two days. My mind was dark and gloomy in the evening, but I felt through the night some stirrings in my soul towards God. Some portions of Scripture were brought to my remembrance, but in the morning this frame was gone, and I was harassed by foolish idle thoughts. After combat