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Ety. Oh, what did she tell me! let me see. I told, I did teil, I was told-mood and tense, sir-mood and tense. She told me, then, that she would receive no communications from John C. Williams, merchant. Do you comprehend, sir, hey ? the word merchant
Will. Begone! old Grammar. · Ety. Is derived from
Will. Begone-begone.-(Shoves him out.)--I'll lower her pride in a twinkling.–(Etymology goes nearly out, but returns again.)
Ety. I forgot to mention, sir, that I will also teach you conchology-etymology-physiology.
Will. Curse the fellow! Begone, I say! but hold-go this moment to Polemic's—endeavor to get into the good graces of Julia, who is, I am told, partial to Montford-poi. son her mind against him—tell her I am smitten with herwish to marry her--that my fortune's immense, and shall be her's. But at all events, be sure you make her reject Mont. ford, and you shall be rewarded for it. Do you hear ?
Ety. Yes, sir--yes, sir--will do it as certainly as that you are a noun substantive.
Will. Well, away, then, and be careful that you make no blunders.-(Exit.)
Ety. My name's Etymology, at your service--Etymology, sir--well known in this populous city--teach school--sing psalms--write poetry---understand Latin-speak Greek-pow I think of it, will teach you any of those branches at a very moderate price--do you understand, sir?
Spl. You're excessively condescending, sir; but at this time I have no occasion for a teacher.
Ety. There you are mistaken, sir. I think you have. · Do you comprehend, sir?
Spl. Curse the fellow! what does he mean? He surely takes me for an ignoramus. But I'll astound him aside.) Sir,--hem--the magnitude of your unsophisticated genius-the vast and unbounded comprehension of your clevated mind, which I can see in your unpolished phiz--and the
transcendant elegance of your manners, induce me to take into iny most profound consideration the--hem--I mean, the reasonableness of your request, sir.
Ety. Thank you, sir- will teach you rhetoric for that. The word rhetoric is derived from hæc rhetorica, Latin, which signifies rhetoric, or the art of gabbling incomprehensibly—as you do sir. Do you understand ?
Spl. Upon my soul, the fellow's a knowing one, I see(aside.) I'm inconceivably indebted to your unsophisticated politeness-am, indeed and will from this momemt become your scholar. But pray what brought you here?
Ety. Why, sir, as you intend to become my scholar, I will let you into the whole secret.
Spl. This is my man-(aside.) Let us step into another room, where we can have a better opportunity of conferring without interruption.-(Exeunt.)
Extract from the Speech of Mr. Gaston, of North Carolina, upon the
Loan Bill, delivered in the House of Representatives, February 17, 1814.
Mr. Chairman,-THERE is something in the character of a war made upon the people of a country, to force them to abandon a government which they cherish, and to become the subjects or the associates of the invaders, which neces. sarily involves calamities beyond those incident to ordinary wars. Among us some remain who remember the horrors of the invasion of the Revolution, "and others of us have hung with reverence on the lips of narrative old age, as it related the interesting tale.” Such a war is not a contest between those only who seek for renown in military achieve. ments, or the more humble mercenaries “whose business 'tis to die.” It breaks in upon all the charities of domestic life, and interrupts all the pursuits of industry. The peasant quits his plough, and the mechanic is hurried from his shop, to commence, without apprenticeship, the exercise of the trade of death. The irregularity of the resistance which is opposed to the invader, its occasional obstinacy, and occa. sional intermission, provoking every bad passion of his sol. diery, is the excuse for plunder, lust, and cruelty. These atrocities exasperate the sufferers to revenge ; and every weapon which anger can supply, and every device which ingenious hatred can conceive, is used to inflict vengeance on the detested foe.
But there is yet a more horrible war than this. As there is no anger so deadly as the anger of a friend, there is no war so ferocious as that which is waged between men of the same blood, and formerly connected by the closest ties of affection. The pen of the historian confesses its inability to describe, the fervid fancy of the poet cannot realize, the hor. rors of a ciyil war. The invasion of Canada involves the miseries of both these species of war. You carry fire and sword among a people who are “united against you to a man ;” amongst a people who are happy in themselves, and satisfied with their condition ; view you not as coming to emancipate them from thraldom, but to reduce them to a foreign yoke. A people long and intimately connected with the bordering inhabitants of our country by commercial in. tercourse, by the ties of hospitality, and by the bonds of affinity and blood-a people, as to every social and individual relation, long identified with your own. It must be that such a war will rouse the spirit of sanguinary ferocity, that will overleap every holy barrier of nature and venerable usage of civilization. Already has “the bayonet of the brother been actually opposed to the breast of the brother.” Merciful heaven! that those who have been rocked in the same cradle by the same maternal hand--who have imbibed the first genial nourishment of infant existence from the same blessed source, should be forced to contend in impious strife for the destruction of that being derived from their common parents. Every feeling of our nature cries aloud against it.
Before we enter, Mr. Chairman, upon this career of cold. blooded massacre, it behooves us, by every obligation which we owe to God, to our fellow-men, and to ourselves, to be certain that the right is with us, or that the duty is imperative. Think for a moment, sir, on the consequences. True courage shuts not its eyes upon danger or its result. It views them steadily and calmly. Already this Canadian war has a character sufficiently cruel. Your part of it may, perhaps, be ably sustained—your way through the Canadas may be traced afar off by the smoke of their burning villages--your path may be marked by the blood of their furious peasantryyou may render your course audible by the frantic shrieks of their women and children. But your own sacred soil will also be the scene of this drama of fiends. Your exposed and defenceless sea-board, the sea-board of the South, will invite a terrible.vengeance. An intestine foe, too, may be roused to assassination and brutality. Yes, sir, a foe that will be found every where, in our fields, in our kitchens, and in our chambers ; a foe, ignorant, degraded by habits of servitude, uncurbed by moral restraints; a foe, whom no recollections of former kindness will soften, and whom the remembrance of severity will goad to frenzy, a foe, from whom nor age, nor infancy, nor beauty, will find reverence or pity. Yes, such a foe may be added to fill up the measure of our calamities.
Reflect, then, well, I conjure you, before reflection is too late; let not passion or prejudice dictate the decision ; if erroneous, its reversal may be decreed by a nation's miseries, and by the world's abhorrence.
CLXVII.--AN APPEAL TO ARMS SOMETIMES NECESSARY.
Extract from the Speech of Governeur Morris, on the free Navigation
of the Mississippi, delivered in the Senate of the United States, February 25, 1803.
Mr. President,—THERE can be no doubt but that, under existing circumstances, we are now actually at war, and have no choice but manly resistance or vile submission ; that the possession of the country west of the Mississippi is danger. ous to other nations, but fatal to us; that it forms a natural and necessary part of our empire ; that it is joined to us by the hand of the Almighty, and that we have no hope of ob. taining it by treaty. Sir, I wish for peace. I wish the ne. gotiation may succeed, and therefore I strongly urge you to adopt these resolutions. But though you should adopt them, they alone will not insure success. I have no hesitation in saying, that you ought to have taken possession of New.Or.
leans and the Floridas, the instant your treaty was violated. You ought to do it now. Your rights are invaded, confidence in negotiation is vain : there is, therefore, no alternative but force. You are exposed to imminent present danger : you have the prospect of great future advantage ; you are justified by the clearest principles of right: you are urged by the strongest motives of policy; you are commanded by every sentiment of national dignity. Look at the conduct of America in her infant years. When there was no actual invasion of right, but only a claim to invade, she resisted the claim; she spurned the insult. Did we then hesitate ? Did we then wait for foreign alliance ? No-animated with the spirit, warmed with the soul of freedom, we threw our oaths of allegiance in the face of our sovereign, and committed our fortunes and our fate to the God of battles. We then were subjects. We had not then attained to the dignity of an independent repub. lic. We then had no rank among the nations of the earth. But we had the spirit that deserved that elevated station. And now that we have gained it, shall we fall from our honor?
Sir, I have now performed, to the best of my power, the great duty which I owed to my country. I have given that advice which in my soul I believe to be the best. But I have little hope that it will be adopted. I fear that by feeble counsels we shall be exposed to a long and bloody war. This fear is, perhaps, ill founded, and if so, I shall thank God that I was mistaken. I know that in the order of his Providence, the wisest ends frequently result from the most foolish mea. sures. It is our duty to submit ourselves to his high dispen. sations. I know that war, with all its misery, is not wholly without advantage. It calls forth the energies of character, it favors the manly virtues, it gives elevation to sentiment, it produces national union, generates patriotic love, and infuses a just sense of national honor. If then we are doomed to war, let us meet it as we ought, and when the hour of trial comes, let it find us a band of brothers.
Sir, I have done ; and I pray that this day's debate may eventuate in the prosperity, the freedom, the peace, the power, and the glory of our country.