CCXXI.-THE NANTUCKET SKIPPER.

1 MANY a long, long year ago,

Nantucket skippers had a plan
Of finding out, though "lying low,"
How near New York their schooners ran.

2. They greased the lead before it fell,

And then by sounding, through the night,
Knowing the soil that stuck so well,

They always guessed their reckoning right.

3. A skipper gray, whose eyes were dim,
Could tell, by tasting, just the spot,
And so below he 'd "douse the glim".
After, of course, his "something hot."

4. Snug in his berth, at eight o'clock,

This ancient skipper might be found;
No matter how his craft would rock,

He slept for skippers' naps are sound.

5. The watch on deck would now and then
Run down and wake him, with the lead;
He'd up, and taste, and tell the men
How many miles they went ahead.

6. One night, 't was Jotham Marden's watch,
A curious wag-the pedlar's son;
And so be used, (the wanton wretch!)
"To-night I'll have a grain of fun.

7. "We're all a set of stupid fools,

To think the skipper knows, by tasting,
What ground he 's on; Nantucket schools

Do n't teach such stuff, with all their basting!"

8. And so he took the well-greased lead,

And rubbed it o'er a box of earth
That stood on deck-(a parsnep-bed,)

And then he sought the skipper's berth.

9. "Where are we now, sir? Please to taste."
The skipper yawned, put out his tongue,
And oped his eyes in wondrous haste,
And then upon the floor he sprung!

KIDD.-35

15. The skipper stormed, and tore his hair,
Thrust on his boots, and roared to Marden,
"Nantucket 's sunk, and here we are,

Right over old Marm Hackett's garden!"

J. T. FIELDS

CCXXII.-THE FROG.

1. Or all the funny things that live
In woodland, marsh, or bog,

That creep the ground, or fly the air,
The funniest is the frog.
The frog-the scientifickest

Of Nature's handiwork—

The frog, that neither walks nor runs,
But goes it with a jerk.

2. With pants and coat of bottle green,
And yellow fancy vest,

He plunges into mud and mire,
All in his Sunday best.
He has his trials by the lump,

Yet holds himself quite cool;
For when they come, he gives a jump,
And drowns 'em in the pool.

3. There! see him sitting on that log,
Above the dirty deep;

You feel inclined to say, "Old chap,
Just look before you leap!"

You raise your cane to hit him, on
His ugly-looking mug;
But, ere you get it half way up,
Adown he goes, ker chug.

CCXXIII.-PARODY ON BURIAL OF SIR JOHN MOORE

1. Nor a sous had he got,-not a guinea or note,
And he looked confoundedly flurried,

As he bolted away without paying his shot,
And the landlady after him hurried.

2. We saw him again at dead of night,
When home from the club returning;

We twigged the doctor beneath the light
Of the gas-lamp brilliantly burning.

3. All bare, and exposed to the midnight dews,
Reclined in the gutter we found him;

And he looked like a gentleman taking a snooze
With his Marshall cloak around him.

4. "The doctor 's as drunk as he can be," we said,
And we managed a shutter to borrow;

We raised him, and sighed at the thought that his head
Would "consumedly ache" on the morrow.

5. We carried him home, and put him to bed,
And we told his wife and his daughter
To give him, next morning, a couple of red
Herrings, with iced soda-water.

6. Loudly they talked of his money that 's gone,
And his lady began to upbraid him;
But little he recked, so they let him snore on
'Neath the counterpane just as we laid him.

7. We tucked him in, and had hardly done,
When, beneath the window calling,
We heard the rough voice of a son of a gun
Of a watchman, "One o'clock!" bawling.

8. Slowly and sadly we all walked down

From his room in the uppermost story;
A rush-light we placed on the cold hearth-stone,
And we left him alone in his glory!

INGOLDSBY LEGENDS.

CCXXIV. THE HYPOCHONDRIAC.

1. Good morning, Doctor; how do you do? I haint quite so well as I have been; but I think I'm some better than I was. I don't think that last medicine you gin me did me much good. I had a terrible time with the car ache iast night; my wife got up and drapt a few draps of Wal nut sap into it, and that relieved it some; but I did n't get a wink of sleep till nearly daylight. For nearly a week, Doctor, I've had the worst kind of a narvous head-ache;

it has been so bad sometimes that I thought my head would bust open. Oh, dear! I sometimes think that I'm the most afflictedest human that ever lived.

2. Since this cold weather sot in, that troublesome cough, that I have had every winter for the last fifteen year, has began to pester me agin. (Coughs.) Doctor, do you think you can give me any thing that will relieve this desprit pain I have in my side?

3. Then I have a crick, at times, in the back of my neck, so that I can't turn my head without turning the hull of my body. (Coughs.)

4. Oh dear! What shall I do! I have consulted almost every doctor in the county, but they do n't any of them seem to understand my case. I have tried every thing that I could think of; but I can't find any thing that does me the leastest good. (Coughs.)

5. Oh this cough—it will be the death of me yet! You know I had my right hip put out last fall at the raising of Deacon Jones' saw mill; its getting to be very troublesome just before we have a change of weather. Then I've got the sciatica in my right knee, and sometimes I'm so crippled up that I can hardly crawl round in any fashion.

6. What do you think that old white mare of ours did while I was out plowing last week? Why, the weacked old critter, she kept a backing and backing, on till she back'd me right up agin the colter, and knock'd a piece of skin off my shin nearly so big. (Coughs.)

7. But I had a worse misfortune than that the other day, Doctor. You see it was washing-day--and my wife wanted me to go out and bring in a little stove-wood--you know we lost our help lately, and my wife has to wash and tend to every thing about the house herself.

8. I knew it would n't be safe for me to go out-as it was a raining at the time-but I thought I'd risk it any how. So I went out, pick'd up a few chunks of stove-wood, and was a coming up the steps in to the house, when my feet slipp'd from under me, and I fell down as sudden as if I'd been shot. Some of the wood lit upon my face, broke down the bridge of my nose, cut my upper lip, and knock'd out

three of my front teeth. I suffered dreadfully on account of it, as you may suppose, and my face aint well enough yet to make me fit to be seen, specially by the women folks (Coughs.) Oh dear! But that aint all, Doctor, I've got fifteen corns on my toes-and I'm afeard I'm a going to have the yellow jaundice. (Coughs.)

CCXXV.-BUZFUZ VERSUS PICKWICK.

1. You have heard from my learned friend, gentlemen of the jury, that this is an action for a breach of promise of marriage, in which the damages are laid at fifteen hundred pounds. The plaintiff, gentlemen, is a widow-yes, gentlemen, a widow. The late Mr. Bardell, some time before his death, became the father, gentlemen, of a little boy. With this little boy, the only pledge of her departed exciseman, Mrs. Bardell shrunk from the world, and courted the retirement and tranquillity of Goswell street; and here she placed in her front parlor window a written placard, bearing this inscription: "Apartments, furnished, for a single gentleman. Inquire within." Mrs. Bardell's opinions of the opposite sex, gentlemen, were derived from a long contemplation of the inestimable qualities of her lost husband. She had no fear-she had no distrust-all was confidence and reliance. "Mr. Bardell," said the widow, "was a man of honor,Mr. Bardell was a man of his word,-Mr. Bardell was no deceiver, Mr. Bardell was once a single gentleman himself; to single gentlemen I look for protection, for assistince, for comfort and consolation;-in single gentlemen I shall perpetually see some thing to remind me of what Mr. Bardell was, when he first won my young and untried affections; to a single gentleman, then, shall my lodgings be let."

2. Actuated by this beautiful and touching impulse, (among the best impulses of our imperfect nature, gentle. men,) the lonely and desolate widow dried her tears, furnished her first floor, caught her innocent boy to her maternal bosom, and put the bill up in her parlor window.