offer, ruin and destruction would be my portion. These sights of my condition stimulated me to exert myself in watchfulness and care, to pursue with ardency the sense that opened in my own mind, and to feel after the spring and virtue that I witnessed there, which far exceeded every gratification that I knew before in this life. My hunger and thirst after righteousness were great: I delighted much in reading and retirement; worldly things had no charms for me at this season, when the new creation began to dawn: although, at times, I felt that the mount of Esau was on fire, and the consuming thereof hard to bear, yet it was necessary, in order that I might witness a new heaven and a new earth, wherein alone righteousness can dwell.

I went with these Friends to many meetings, and still heavenly good attended me, which encouraged me to persevere and resolve to be steadfast. I was very comfortable in this good company, and in that of valuable Friends where I came: but the time drew near when I must be separated from them; and though it was a very heavy trial upon me to leave those Friends, who as instruments, were exceedingly helpful and beneficial to me in my weak state, yet I concluded to return; and accordingly took leave of my beloved fellow-travellers, and turned my face towards home, which was then in Dublin.

This was about the middle of the summer of 1751, and in the twenty-second year of my age. I journeyed homeward in great heaviness; fear seized on me, lest I should not be able to stand my ground amongst my

intimates and acquaintances, professors and profane; being well known in that great and populous city, and having had many proofs of my own unsteadiness and forgetfulness, when heretofore favoured with the tendering convictions of Truth on my mind. At times I had thoughts of leaving the kingdom, and residing in England, near some valuable experienced Friends, where I might be safer than amongst my acquaintances in my own country, who so often allured and drew me from the paths of purity, into the pursuit of lying vanities. Thus I reasoned with flesh and blood; but I was instructed to see, that He who visited me, was able to preserve me, if I would but be subject and obedient to his wholesome instruction; and that where I had dishonored him by my inconsistencies, there, by my fidelity to the law He writes in the heart, I might honour and confess him before men. These intimations quieted my mind, and I resolved to meet ridicule, reviling, and even persecution itself, for the sake of Him, whom I was resolved to follow, as I felt strength.

In this state of mind I returned to Dublin, and kept pretty quiet, attended meetings, and mingled with a few select Friends. In this my weak state I frequently went through bye-ways and lanes, to avoid my old acquaintances, feeling the cross heavy when I met them and spoke the plain language, as many young people educated in our Society also do: this is much to be regretted, for it was the language spoken by our blessed Lord and his disciples, by the patriarchs and prophets, and our principles strictly enjoin us to speak

it to all men; but alas! many are unfaithful, which makes them unfruitful in works of righteousness.

This brings to my remembrance a passage in my experience, which may be of some use when I shall be no more. When I was with my old master T. S. as an apprentice, he had occasion to pay rent to the Bishop of Clogher for one of his correspondents: I was sent with the money, and addressed the Bishop, not as though I was one called a Quaker. He took but little notice of me; I thought he treated me rather with contempt: it stung me to think I played the coward, and was ashamed to address him as a Quaker; I therefore entered into an engagement that if ever I went again, I would address him in the plain language. The season came that I was to go, and I was warned in my mind to remember my engagement. I went in some degree of fear; he was just stepping into his coach to go into the country: when I addressed him as a Quaker, he very politely received me, and treated me as if I had been his equal. When I had done my business, I returned with a pleasure far transcending any thing I had felt before, for such an act of obedience: I thought I could leap as an hart, I felt such inward joy, satisfaction, and consolation. So that I would have the beloved youth mind their Guide, and not dishonour that of God in them; for as we are faithful in a little, we shall be made rulers over more; and we shall have more of the praise even of men, by keeping to our religious principles, and be in higher esteem by those in authority, as our forefathers were.

I stayed in Dublin amongst my friends, attending meetings constantly, and sometimes met a select number at Samuel Judd's, where I was often refreshed and comforted; the Lord was pleased to be with me, contriting my spirit and humbling me under his mighty hand. The mount of Esau was still on fire, which at times was very affecting and hard to be borne; and were it not for the Divine hand that sustained, I could not have abode the fierceness of the furnace but it is a gradual work and must be accomplished; the kingdom of sin and Satan must be destroyed, before the kingdom of the holy Jesus becomes established in the hearts of men. The house of Saul grew weaker and weaker, and the house of David stronger and stronger, until it became established: so, in a religious sense, conversion is a gradual work; the sinful nature declines through the efficacy of the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire, which purges the floor of the heart, and makes it a fit temple for the Spirit of the Son of God to dwell in. This causes a strong combat, a severe conflict, in which the poor creature suffers deep probation and tribulation; but it is the way to virtue and glory, and is the heavenly preparer of paths to walk in acceptably to God: who, gradually carrying on his own work in the midst of suffering, visits by his life-giving presence to animate, cheer, and enable the drooping soul to hold on its way; and so by this invisible and glorious work the day of redemption draws nigh, and the poor pilgrim goes from strength to strength, and from one

degree of experience to another, rejoicing in the Lord Jehovah, the God of the spirits of all flesh, until the work be completed: then the poor traveller can say,"It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that showeth mercy:" it is He that works, both to will and to do of his good pleasure, by his holy Spirit, as the temple is clean and is kept in that state, which is only to be done, as we take heed to the power and Spirit of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Captain of our salvation, watching and praying that we enter not into temptation: then, and not till then, will the temple of our heart be clean.

After I had spent some time in Dublin, my dear friend Garratt Van Hassen, having an inclination to go to Mountmellick, to see Friends there-away in their families, I felt an inclination to accompany him, of which he seemed glad. When there, he was joined by James Gough, and they invited me to sit with them in the families they visited. I was sensible of Divine good in most of the families, and had some openings similar to those spoken of by them in their religious communications, which was a strength to my mind. I remember in one family there was nothing said, no openings in ministry, and in that family my mind was much shut up, I felt no openings of light or comfort; which made me believe I had something of a sense such as these worthy Friends had, and this was some encouragement to me in my infant state. I kept on with them in the service until they had concluded; in general I was favoured in spirit, being often tendered