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Because I love him, I must pity him.
To praise his faith, which I would have disprais'd.
Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean
Jul. From my master, sir Proteus, madam
Sil. Ursula, bring my picture there.
[Picture brought. Go, give your master this: tell him from me, One Julia that his changing thoughts forget, Would better fit his chamber than this shadow. Jul. Madam, please you peruse this letter.Pardon me, madam; I have unadvis'd Deliver'd you a paper that I should not; This is the letter to your ladyship.
Sil. I pray thee, let me look on that again.
I will not look upon your master's lines:
Jul. Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.
Sil. What say'st thou?
Jul. I thank you, madam, that you tender her: Poor gentlewoman! my master wrongs her much. Sil. Dost thou know her?
Jul. Almost as well as I do know myself.
Sil. Belike, she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.
Jul. I think she doth, and that's her cause of
Sil. Is she not passing fair?
Jul. She hath been fairer, madam, than she is: When she did think my master loved her well, She, in my judgment, was as fair as you; But since she did neglect her looking-glass, And threw her sun-expelling mask away, The air hath starv'd the roses in her cheeks, And pinch'd the lily-tincture of her face, That now she is become as black as I.
Sil. How tall was she?
Jul. About my stature: for at Pentecost, When all our pageants of delight were play'd, Our youth got me to play the woman's part, And I was trimm'd in madam Julia's gown; Which served me as fit, by all men's judgment, As if the garment had been made for me: Therefore I know she is about my height. And, at that time, I made her weep a-good, For I did play a lamentable part: Madam, 'twas Ariadne, passioning For Theseus' perjury, and unjust flight; Which I so lively acted with my tears, That my poor mistress, moved therewithal, Wept bitterly; and, would I might be dead, If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!
Sil. She is beholden to thee, gentle youth!Alas, poor lady! desolate and left!
I weep myself to think upon thy words.
Jul. And she shall thank you for 't, if e'er you
A virtuous gentlewoman, mild, and beautiful.
I should have scratch'd out your unseeing eyes,
SCENE II- The same. An Apartment in the Duke's Palace.
Enter THURIO, PROTEUS, and JULIA. Thu. Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit? Pro. O, sir, I find her milder than she was; And yet she takes exceptions at your person. Thu. What, that my leg is too long?
Pro. No; that it is too little.
Thu. I'll wear a boot to make it somewhat rounder.
Pro. But love will not be spurr'd to what it loaths. Thu. What says she to my face?
Pro. She says, it is a fair one.
Thu. Nay, then, the wanton lies; my face is black. Pro. But pearls are fair; and the old saying is, Black men are pearls in beauteous ladies' eyes, Jul. "Tis true; such pearls as put out ladies' eyes. In good earnest. • Own.
For I had rather wink than look on them. [4side. These are my mates, that make their wills their law,
Thu. But well, when I discourse of love, and peace?
Jul. But better, indeed, when you hold your peace.
Thu. What says she to my valor?
Pro. O, sir, she makes no doubt of that.
Thu. What says she to my birth?
Have some unhappy passenger in chase:
Enter PROTEUS, SILVIA, and JULIA.
Pro. Madam, this service I have done for you,
Jul. True; from a gentleman to a fool. [Aside. Vouchsafe me for my meed but one fair look;
Thu. Considers she my possessions?
Pro. O, ay; and pities them.
Jul. That such an ass should owe them.
Pro. That they are out by lease.
Jul. Here comes the duke.
A smaller boon than this I cannot beg,
And less than this, I am sure, you cannot give.
[Aside. Love, lend me patience to forbear a while. [Aside.
Duke. How now, sir Proteus? how now, Thurio? Which of you saw sir Eglamour of late?
Thu. Not I.
Saw you my daughter?
Jul. And me, when he approacheth to your
Sil. Had I been seized by a hungry lion,
Duke. Why, then, she's fled unto that peasant,
And Eglamour is in her company.
'Tis true; for friar Laurence met them both,
At Patrick's cell this even; and there she was not:
Pro. And I will follow, more for Silvia's love, Than hate of Eglamour, that goes with her. [Exit. Jul. And I will follow, more to cross that love, Than hate for Silvia, that is gone for love. [Exit. SCENE III.-Frontiers of Mantua. The Forest. Enter SILVIA and Outlaws.
Out. Come, come;
Be patient, we must bring you to our captain.
1 Out. Where is the gentleman that was with her?
1 Out. Come, I must bring you to our captain's
Fear not; he bears an honorable mind,
Sil. O Valentine, this I endure for thee! [Exeunt.
SCENE IV.- Another part of the Forest.
Val. How use doth breed a habit in a man!
Thou gentle nymph, cherish thy forlorn swain:-
heaven be judge how I love Valentine,
Pro. What dangerous action, stood it next to
Would I not undergo for one calm look?
Read over Julia's heart, thy first best love,
Thou hast no faith left now, unless thou hadst two,
(For such is a friend now,) treacherous man!
I am sorry, I must never trust thee more,
I tender it here; I do as truly suffer,
Look up; speak.
O good sir, my master charg'd me
Here 'tis this is it. [Gives a ring.
Why this is the ring I gave to Julia.
I gave this unto Julia.
Jul. And Julia herself did give it me;
Jul. Behold her that gave aim to all thy oaths,
It is the lesser blot, modesty finds,
Women to change their shapes, than men their minds.
Pro. Than men their minds? 'tis true: O heaven!
But constant, he were perfect: that one error
Come not within the measure of my wrath:3
Duke. The more degenerate and base art thou,
I now beseech you, for your daughter's sake,
Duke. I grant it, for thine own, whate'er it be.
Fills him with faults; makes him run through all They are reformed, civil, full of good,
And fit for great employment, worthy lord.
Duke. Thou hast prevail'd: I pardon them, and
Dispose of them, as thou know'st their deserts.
Val. And, as we walk along, I dare be bold,
Duke. I think the boy hath grace in him: he
SCENE I-Windsor. Before Page's House. Enter Justice SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Sir1 HUGH EVANS.
Shal. SIR HUGH, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it; if he were twenty
Eva. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.
Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and
sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shal-end it: and there is also another device in my prain,
Sten. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace,
an old coat.
Sle I may quarter, coz!
Shat. You may, by marrying.
Eva. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Eva. Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself. in my simple conjectures: but this is all one: if Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you.
Shal. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
it: There is Anne Page, which is daughter to which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
and speaks small like a woman. Sten. Mistress Anne Page! She has brown hair,
just as you will desire: and seven hundred pounds Eva. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death's bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion, if we leave between master Abraham and mistress Anne Page, our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage
Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pounds?
Eva. Ay,and her father is make her a petter penny. Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
Era. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is good gifts.
Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is Falstaff there?
Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door [knocks] for master Page. What, hoa! pless your house here!
and justice Shallow: and here young master Slender; that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.
Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank you for my venison, master Shallow.
Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you; Much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill-killed: -How doth good mistress Page-and I love you always with my heart, la; with my heart.
Page. Sir, I thank you.
Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender. Sten. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun at Cotsale.
Page. It could not be judged, sir.
Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Shal. That he will not;— tis your fault, 'tis your fault: 'Tis a good dog.
Page. A cur, sir.
Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; Can there be more said he is good, and fair.-Is sir John Falstaff here?
Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.
Eva. It is spoke as a Christian ought to speak. Shal. He hath wrong'd me, master Page. Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is not that so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me; indeed, he hath; -at a word, he hath ;- -believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wrong'd. Puge. Here comes sir John. Enter Sir JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NY, and PISTOL.
Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king?
Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.
Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter. Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answer`d. Fal. I will answer it straight; -I have done all this: That is now answer'd.
Shal. The council shall know this.
Fal. "Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel: you'll be laugh'd at.
Era. Pauca verba, sir John, good worts. Fal. Good worts! good cabbage.- Slender, I broke your head; What matter have you against me? Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.
Bar. You Banbury cheese!
Pist. How, now, Mephostophilus ?
Num. Slice, I say, pauca, pauca; slice! that's iny humor.
Slen. Where's Simple, my man? —can you tell, cousin?
Fal. Is this true. Pistol?
I combat challenge of this latten bilbo :2
Nym. Be advised, sir, and pass good humors: I will say, marry trap, with you if you run the nuthook's humor on me; that is the very note of it.
Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John? Bar. Why, sir. for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is!
Bar. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires.
Slen. Ay. you spake in Latin then too: but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick; if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.
Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
Enter Mistress ANNE PAGE with wine; Mistress FORD and Mistress PAGE following.
Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit ANNE PAGE. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford? well met: by your leave, good mistress. [Kissing her. Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very
Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome:· Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
[Exeunt all but SHAL., SLENDER, and EVANS. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my book of Songs and Sonnets here:
How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, have you?
Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?
Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz; There is, as 'twere a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by sir Hugh here; - Do you understand me?
Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Slen. So I do, sir.
Eva. Peace: I pray you! Now let us understand: Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I There is three umpires in this matter as I under-will description the matter to you, if you be capastand: that is-master Page, fidelicet, master Page; city of it. and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between
Era. Fery goot: I will make a brief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can. Fal. Pistol,
Pist. He hears with ears.
Era. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations.
Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Sten. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost ine two shillings and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
Cotswold in Gloucestershire.
Worts was the ancient name of all the cabbage kind. ▾ Sharpers. Nothing but paring!
The name of an ugly spirit.
King Edward's shilling used in the game of shuffleboard.
Slen. Nay I will do as my cousin Shallow says: pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.
Era. But this is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage.
Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir.
Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page.
Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands.
Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth; Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?
Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, sir,-I will do, as it shall become one that would do reason.
Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must • Lips
2 Blade as thin as a lath.
If you say I am a thief.
The bounds of good behavior.
An intended blunder.