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Her mother ever strong against that match, With ribands pendant, Naring 'bout her head: And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, That he shall likewise shume her away,
To pinch her by the hand and on that token, While other sports are tasking off their minds, The inaid hath given consent to go with him. And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Host. Which means she to deceive? father or Straight marry her : to this her mother's plot
mother? She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me : Made promise to the doctor:- Now, thus it rests; And here it rests, - that you'll procure the vicar Her father means she shall be all in white; To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, And in that habit, when Slender sees his time And, in the lawful name of marrying, To take her by the hand, and bid her go,
To give our hearts united ceremony. She shall go with him: her mother hath intended, Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar; The better to denote her to the doctor,
Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. (For they must all be masked and vizarded.)
Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; That, quaint in green, she shall be loose enrobid, Besides, I'll make a present recompense. (Exeunt.
SCENE I.- A Room in the Garter Inn. Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu.
Mrs. Page. Fare you well sir. [Exit Caius.
My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse Fal Pr’ythee, no more prattling; -- go. -- - I'll of Falstail, as he will chate at the doctor's marrying hold: This is the third time; I hope good luck my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a litue lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they say, there is chiding than a great deal of heart-break. divinity in odd nnmbers, either in nativity, chance, Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of or death.-- Away.
fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh? Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by I can to get you a pair of horns.
Herne's oak, with obscured lights: which at the Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your very instant of Falstails and our meeting, they will head, and mince.
[Exit Mrs. Quickly. at once display to the night. Enter Ford).
Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him.
Mrs. Puge. If he be not amazed, he will be How now, master Brook? master Brook, the mat- mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be ter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the
mocked. Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. see wonders, Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you
Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their
lechery, told me you had appointed!
Those that betray them do no treachery. Ful. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, master the oak!
Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on; to the oak, to
[Exeunt. Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of
SCENE IV.-Windsor Park. jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you.—He beat me grievously,
Enter Sir Hugu Evans, and Fairies. in the shape of a woman: for in the shape of man, Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into
I beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am the pít; and when I give the watch 'ords, do as I in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all master pid you; Come, come; trib, trib. (Exeunt. Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, SCENE V.- Another Part of the Park. till lately. Follow me:I'll tell you strange things Enter Falstaff disguised, with a buck's head on. of this knave Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand; minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods assist
Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the -- Follow: Strange things in hand, master Brook! me! - Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy follow.
Europa; love set on thy horns.- powerful love! SCENE II.- Windsor Park.
that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in Enter Page, SILALLOW, and SLENDER.
some other, a man a beast. - You were also, Jupi Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle-love! how near the god drew to the complexion of
ter, a swan, for the love of Leda; 0, omnipotent ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-- Remem
goose! -- A fault done first in the form of a beast; ber, son Slender, my daughter. Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and in the semblance of a fowl; think on't Jove, a foul
- O Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fauli we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I fault. When gods have hot backs, what shall poor come to her in white, and cry mum ; she cries men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and budget; and by that we know one another. Shal.' That's good too; But what needs either time, Jove, or who can blare me to piss my tallow!
the fattest, I think i' the forest : send me a cool rutyour inum or her budget? the white will decipher who comes here! my doe? her well enough. - It hath struck ten o'clock. Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will
Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. PAGE. become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know
Mrs. Ford. Sir John ? art thou there, my deer! him by his horns. Let’s away ; follow me.
my male deer?
Fal. My doe with the black scut? - Let the sky [Exeunt.
rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green SCENE III.- The Street in Windsor. Sleeves ; hail kissing comfits, and snow eringoes; Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Dr. Caius.
let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here.
[Embracing her. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, green: when you see your time, take her by the sweet-beart. hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch: it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for go together.
the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath Keep to the time.
:Watch-word. your husbands. Am I a woodman ? ha! Speak I
like Herne the hunter? Why, now is Cupid a Fed in heart ; whose flames aspire, child of conscience; he makes restitution. Aslam As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher. a true spirit, welcome.
[Noise within. Pinch him, fuiries, mutually i Mrs. Page, Alas! what noise ?
Pinch him for his villany; Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins!
Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, Fal. What should this be?
Till candles, and starlight, and moonshine be out. Mrs. Ford Mrs. Page. /Away, away. · [They run off. || During this song, the fairies pinch Falstaff. DocFal. I think the devil will not have me damned,
tor Caius comes one way, and steals away a fairy lost the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he
in green; Slender another way, and takes off would never else cross me thus.
a fairy in white, and Fenton comes, and steuls
away Mrs. Anne Page. A noise of hunting is Enter Sir Hugh Evans like a satyr ; Mrs. QUICK- made within. All the fairies run away. Fal
LY and Pistol; ANNE Page us the Fairy Queen, staff pulls of his buck's head, and rises.]
Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. Page, and Mrs. FORD.
They lay hold on him.
Page. Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch'd You orphan heirs of fixed destiny,
you now; Attend your office and your quality.
Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn? Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy o-yes.
Mrs. Page. I pray you, come; hold up the jest Pist. Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys. Now, good sir John, how like you Windsor wives?
no higher: Cricket, to Windsor chimney shalt thou leap: Where fires thou find'st unrak’d, and hearths un
See you these, husband? do not these fair yokest
Become the forest better than the town! swept, There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry:
Ford. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? -- MasOur radiant Queen hates sluts and sluttery.
ter Brook, Falstaft's a knave, a cockoldly knave; here Fal. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them, are his horns, master Brook: And, master Brook, shall die:
he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck I'll wink and couch: No man their works must eye. which must be paid to master Brook; his horses
basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money; (Lies down upon his face. Eva. Where's Pede? Go you, and where you
are arrested for it, master Brook. find a maid,
Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck: we
could never meet. I will never take you for my That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, Raise up the organs of her fantasy,
love again, but I will always count you my deer. Sleep she as sound as careless infancy:
Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am inade an But those as sleep, and think not on their sins, Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and
Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are shins.
Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three or Quick. About, about; Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out;
four times in the thought, they were not fairies: and Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room,
yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise That it may stand till the perpetual doom,
of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery In state as wholesome, as in state 'tis fit;
into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now, The several chairs of order look you scour
how wit may be made a jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon With juice of balm, and every precious flower;
ill employment. Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,
Era. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your With royal blazon, evermore be blest!
desires, and fairies will not pinse you. And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing,
Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh. Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring:
Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray The expressure that it bears, green let it be,
you. More fertile-fresh than all the field to see;
Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till And, Hony soit qui mal y pense, write,
thou art able to woo her in good English. In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white;
Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried
it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'erLike sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery, Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee:
reaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat Fairies use flowers for their charactery.
too? Shall I have a coxcomb of frize!: 'tis time I Away; disperse: But, till 'tis one o'clock,
were choked with a piece of toasted cheese. Our dance of custom, round about the oak
Eva. Seese is not good to give putter; your pelly Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.
is all putter. Eva. Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves
Fal. Seese and putter! Have I lived to stand at in order set:
the taunt of one that makes fritters of English! And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be,
This is enough to be the decay of late-walking To guide our measure round about the tree.
through the realm. But, stay; I smell a man of middle earth.
Mrs. Page. Why, sir John, do you think, though Fal. Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy! we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by lest he transform me to a piece of cheese!
the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'erlooked even in without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could thy birth?
have made you our delight? Quick. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end:
Ford. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax? If he be chaste, the flame will back descend,
Mrs. Page. A pulled man? And turn him to no pain : but if he start,
Puge. Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.
entrails. Pist. A trial, come.
Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan? Eva. Come, will this wood take fire ?
Page. And as poor as Job? [They burn him wilh their tapers.
Ford. And as wicked as his wife? Fal. Oh, oh, oh!
Eva. And given to fornications, and to taverns, Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinka About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme:
ings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. prabbles ? Era. It is right; indeed he is full of lecheries and
Fal. Well, I am your theme: you have the start iniquity.
of me: I am dejected; I am not able to answer the
Welsh flannel ; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er SONG.
me: use me as you will. Fye on sinful fantasy !
Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to Fye on lust and luxury
one master Brook, that you have cozened of money Luist is but a bloody fire,
• Horns which Falstaff had. Kindled with unchuste desire,
• A fool's cap of Welsh materials.
to whom you should have been a pander: over and by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am above that you have suffered, I think to repay that cozened. money will be a biting affliction.
Mrs. Puge. Why, did you take her in green? Mrs. Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to make Caius. Aye, by gar, and 'tis a boy: by gar, I'll amends.
raise all Windsor.
[Exit Caus. Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends.
Ford. This is strange: Who hath got the right Foril. Well, here's my hand; all's forgiven at last. Anne?
Page. Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a Page. My heart misgives me: Here comes masposset to night at my house; where I will desire ter Fenton. thee to laugh at my wife that now laughs at thee:
Enter FENTON and Axxe PAGE. Tell her, master Slender hath married her daughter.
Mrs. Page. Doctors doubt that :-1f Anne Page How now, master Fenton ? be my daughter, she is, by this, doctor Caius's wite. Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother,
pardon! Enter SLENDER.
Page. Now, mistress ! how chance you went not Slen. Whoo, ho! ho! father Page!
with master Slender? Page. Son! how now ? how now, son? have you Mrs. Page, Why went you not with master docdespatched?
tor, maid? Slen. Despatched — I'll make the best in Glou- Fent. You do amaze her: Hear the truth of it. cestershire know on’t; would I were hanged, la, You would have married her most shamerully, else.
Where there was no proportion held in love. Page. Of what, son ?
The truth is, she and l, long since contracted, Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry mistress Are now so sure, that nothing can dissolve us. Anne Paye, and she's a great lubberly boy: If it The ottence is holy, that hath committed : had not been i' the church, I would have swinged And this deceit loses the name of crait, him, or he should have swinged ine. If I did not Of disobedience, or unduteous title; think it had been Anne Page, would I might never Since therein she doth evitate and shun stir, and 'tis a post-inaster's boy.
A thousand irreligious cursed hours, Page. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. Which forced marriage would have brought upon Sten. What need you tell me that? I think so,
her. when I took a boy for a girl: If I had been married Ford. Stand not amaz’d: here is no remedy: to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I would In love, the heavens themselves do gwde the state; not have had him.
Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I Fal. I am glad, though you bave ta'en a special tell you, how you should know my daughter by her stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced. garments ?
Page. Well, what remedy ? Fenton, heaven give Slen. I went to her in white, and cried mum, and
thee joy! she cry'd budget, as Anne and I had appointed ; What cannot be eschew'd must be embrac'd. and yet it was not Anne, but a post-master's boy. Fal. When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are Eva. Jeshu! Master Slender, cannot you see
chas'd. but marry boys?
Eva. I will dance and eat plums at your wedding. Page. O, I am vexed at heart: What shall I do? Mrs. Puge, Well, I will muse no further:Mrs. Page. Good George, be not angry: I knew
Master Fenton, of your purpose: turned my daughter into green; Heaven give you many, many merry days! and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the dean-Good husband, let us every one go home, ery, and there married.
And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire;
Sir John and all.
Let it be so:— Sir John, Caius. Vere is mistress Page! By gar, I am To master Brook you yet shall hold your word; cozened; I ha' married un garcon, a boy; un paisan, ' For he, to-night, shall lie with Mrs. Ford. [Exeunt.
WHAT YOU WILL.
ORSINO, Duke of Illyria.
OLIVIA, a rich Countess.
MARIA, Olivia's woman.
Lords, Priests, Sailors, Officers, Musicians, and MALVOLIO, steward to Olivia.
SCENE, a city in Illyria; and the Sea-Coast near it.
SCENE I. - An Apartment in the Duke's palace. To pay this debt of love but to a brother,
How will she love, when the rich golden shast, Enter Duke, Curio, Lords; Musicians attending. Hath kill'd the flock of all affections else Duke. If music be the food of love, play on,
That live in her! when liver, brain, and heart,
These sovereign thrones, are all supplied, and fill'd Give me excess of it; that, surfeiting,
(Her sweet perfections) with one selt king!The appetite may sicken, and so die. That strain again;- it had a dying fall:
Away before me to sweet beds of flowers; 0, it came o'er my ear like the sweet south,
Love-thoughts lie rich, when canopied with bowers.
(Exeunt. That breathes upon a bank of violets, Stealing, and giving odor. — Enough; no more;
SCENE II. The Sea Coast. 'Tis not so sweet now, as it was before. ( spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou!
Enter Viola, Captain, and Sailors. That notwithstanding thy capacity
Vio. What country, friends, is this? Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,
Illyria, lady. Of what validity and pitch soever,
Vio. And what should I do in Illyria ?" But falls into abatement and low price,
My brother he is in Elysium. Even in a minute! so full of shapes is fancy Perchance, he is not drown'd:- What think you, That it alone is high-fantastical.
sailors? Cur. Will you go hunt, my lord?
Cap. It is perchance, that you yourself were Duke.
Vio. O my poor brother! and so, perchance, Duke. Why, so I do, the noblest that I have:
may he be. 0, when mine eyes did see Olivia first,
Cap. True, madam: and to comfort you with Methought, she purg'd the air of pestilence;
chance, That instant was I turned into a hart;
Assure yourself, after our ship did split,
Most provident in peril, bind himself
(Courage and hope both teaching him the practice)
To a strong mast that lived upon the sea;
So long as I could see.
For saying so, there's gold: But, like a cloistress, she will veiled walk,
Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope, And water once a day her chamber round
Whereto thy speech serves for authority, With eye offending brine: all this, to season The like of him. Know'st thou this country? A brother's dead love, which she would keep fresh Cap. Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and born, And lasting, in her sad remembrance.
Not three hours' travel from this very place. Duke. 0, she, that hath a heart of that fine frame, Vio. Who governs here?
A noble duke, in nature, chystril,' that will not drink to my neice, till his As in his name.
brains turn o' the toe like a parisl-top. What, Vio What is his name?
wench? Casiliano vulgo; for here comes sir AnСар.
Orsino. drew Ague-face.
Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.
Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now, sir Toby Or was so very late: for but a month
Belch! Ago I went from hence; and then 'twas fresh
Sir To, Sweet sir Andrew!
Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew.
Mur. And you too, sia
Sir To. Accost, sir Andrew, accost.
Sir And, What's that? Cap. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count
Sir To. My neice's chamber-maid. That died some twelvemonth since; then leaving her
Sir And. Good mistress Accost, I desire better In the protection of his son, her brother,
Mur. My name is Mary, sir.
Sir And. Good mistress Mary Accost,
Sir To. You mistake, knight: accost is, front Vio. O, that I served that lady:
her, board her, woo her, assail her. And might not be delivered to the world,
Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake Till I had made mine own occasion mellow,
her in this company. Is that the meaning of ac
Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen.
Sir To. An thou let part so, sir Andrew, would
thou mightst never draw sword again. No, not the duke's. l'io. There is a fair behavior in thee, captain ;
Sir And. And you part so, mistress, I would I And though that nature with a beauteous wall
might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you Doth of close in pollution, yet of thec
think you have fools in hand ? I will believe, thou hast a mind that suits
Mar. Sir, I have not you by the hand. With this thy fair and outward character.
Sir And. Marry, but you shall have; and here's I pray thee, and I'll pay thee bounteously,
Mar. Now, sir, thought is free: I pray you bring Conceal me what I anı; and be my aid For such disguise as, haply, shall become
your hand to the buttery-bar, and let it drink.
Sir And. Wherefore, sweet heart? what's your The form of my intent." I'll serve this duke; Thou shalt present me as a cunuch to him:
Mir. It's dry, sir. It may be worth thy pains; for I can sing,
Sir And. Why, I think so; I am not such an ass, And speak to him in many sorts of music, That will allow me very worth his service.
but I can keep my hand dry. But what's your What else may hap, to time I will commit;
Mar. A dry jest, sir.
Sir And. Are you full of them ?
Mar. Ay, sir; I have them at my fingers' ends: Vio. I thank thee, lead me on.
[Erit MARIA. SCENE III.- A Room in Olivia's House.
Sir To. O knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary:
When did I see thee so put down?
Sir And. Never in your life, I think; unless you Sir To. What a plague means my neice, to take see canary put me down: Methinks, sometimes I the death of her brother thus? I am sure care's an have no more wit than a Christian, or an ordinary enemy to life.
man has: but I am a greater cater of beef, and, Í Mar. By troth, sir Toby, you must come in car- believe, that does harm to my wit. lier o' nights; your cousin, my lady, takes great
Sir To. No question. exceptions to your ill hours.
Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted.
I'll ride home to morrow, sir Toby. Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself within Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear knight? the modest limits of order.
Sir And. What is pourquoy ? do or not do? I Sir To. Confine! I'll confine myself no finer would I had bestowed that time in the tongues, that than I am: these clothes are good enough to drink I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting : 0, in, and so be these boots too; an they be not, let had I but followed the arts ! them hang themselves in their own straps.
Sir To. Then hadst thou an excellent head of Mar. That quaffing and drinking will' undo you.
hair. I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a Sir And. Why, would that have mended my hair? foolish knight, that you brought in one night here, Sir To. Past question; for thou secst, it will not to be her wooer.
curl by nature. Sir To. Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek? Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, docs't Mar. Ay, he. Sir To. He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria.
Sir To. Excellent; it hangs like flax on a disMar. What's that to the purpose?
tail'; and I hope to see a housewife take thee beSir To. Why, he has three thousand ducats a tween her legs, and spin it off. year.
Sir And. 'Faith, I'll home to-morrow, sir Toby: Mar. Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these your niece will not be seen; or, if she be, it's four ducats; he's a very fool, and a prodigal.
to one she'll none of me: the count, himself, here Sir To. Fye, that you'll say so! he plays o' the hard by: woos her. viol-de-yamboand speaks three or four languages
Sir To. She'll none of the count; she'll not word for word without book, and hath all the good match above her degree, neither in estate. years, nor gifts of nature.
wit; I have heard her swear it. Tut, there's life Mar. He hath, indeed, -almost natural: for, 'in't, man. besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreler; and Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fel. but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the low o' the strangest mind in the world; I delight gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the in masques and revels sometimes altogether. prudent, he would quickly have the gift of a grave.
Sir To. Art thou good at these kick-shaws, Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels, and knight? substractors, that say so of him. Who are they? Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he
Mur. They that add moreover, he's drunk nightly be, under the degree of my betiers; and yet I will in your company
not compare with an old man. Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece; I'll Sir Tó. What is thy excellence in a galliard, drink to her, as long as there's a passage in my knight? throat, and drink in Illyria: He's a coward, and a
1 Keystril, a bastard hawk.