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An' the Captain saw the shrapnel (which is six
an’-thirty clear). ('Orse-Gunners, listen to my song!) “Will you draw the weight,” sez 'e, “or will you
draw the beer ?” An’ we didn't keep 'im waitin' very long.
For the Captain, etc.
Then we trotted gentle, not to break the bloomin'
glass, Though the Arabites 'ad all their ranges marked; But we dursn't ’ardly gallop, for the most was
bottled Bass, An' we'd dreamed of it since we was disem
barked. So we fired economic with the shells we 'ad in 'and,
('Orse-Gunners, listen to my song!) But the beggars under cover 'ad the impidence to
stand, An' we couldn't keep 'em waitin' very long.
And the Captain, etc.
So we finished ’arf the liquor (an' the Captain took
champagne), An' the Arabites was shootin' all the while;
An' we left our wounded ’appy with the empties
on the plain, An' we used the bloomin' guns for pro-jec-tile! We limbered up an' galloped—there were nothin'
else to do('Orse-Gunners, listen to my song !) An' the Battery come a-boundin' like a boundin'
kangaroo, But they didn't watch us comin' very long.
As the Captain, etc.
We was goin' most extended—we was drivin'
very fine, An' the Arabites were loosin' 'igh an' wide, Till the Captain took the glassy with a rattlin'
right incline, An' we dropped upon their ’eads the other side. Then we give 'em quarter—such as 'adn't up and
cut, ('Orse-Gunners, listen to my song!) An' the Captain stood a limberful of fizzy-some
For the Captain, etc.
We might ha' been court-martialled, but it all
come out all right When they signalled us to join the main com
mand. There was every round expended, there was every
gunner tight, An' the Captain waved a corkscrew in 'is 'and!
But the Captain had 'is jacket, etc.
THE 'eathen in 'is blindness bows down to wood
an' stone; ’E don't obey no orders unless they is 'is own; 'E keeps 'is side-arms awful: 'e leaves 'em all
about, . An' then comes up the regiment an' pokes the
All along o' dirtiness, all along o' mess,
The young recruit is 'aughty-'e draf's from Gawd
knows where; They bid 'im show 'is stockin's an’ lay 'is mattress
'E calls it bloomin' nonsense-'e doesn't know, no
moreAn' then up comes 'is company an' kicks 'em
round the floor!
The young recruit is silly—'e thinks o'suicide; 'E's lost 'is gutter-devil; 'e 'asn't got 'is pride; But day by day they kicks 'im, which 'elps 'im on
a bit, Till 'e finds 'isself one mornin' with a full an'
Gettin' clear ó' dirtiness, gettin' done with
mess, Gettin' shut o doin' things rather-more-or
less ; Not so fond of abby-nay, kul, nor hazar-ho, Learns to keep 'is rifle an' 'isself jus' so!