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B A TA I L L O N.*

(From the French of Eugene Sue ; with interjections ad libitum.)

BY CAMILLA TOULMIN.

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Captain David was an old soldier of the necessary to consult the convenience of Madame Empire, covered with scars, and crippled by Tolibois, whose stormy temper would most wounds, but living with tolerable comfort on his likely dread the place this new rival would ocmoderate means. He occupied the ground-floor cupy in her master's affections. At last the of a house at the barrier of Charenton, and had Captain arrived at his door, and rang the bell, for housekeeper an old woman named Madame in good truth loudly too, and then to strengthen Tolibois. Captain David had been in twenty his courage looked once more at Bataillon, who, battles; his calm courage had won renown for motionless on his three feet, wagged his tail, as him among his brother veterans, and had been he looked up at his new master with a loving, proved by the bravest and most brilliant deeds ; fearful, anxious expression, but he trembled like a child before the peevish Poor brute,” thought the Captain, “he is as tyranny of Madame Tolibois, who, however, fearful as I am of the reception we shall meet." loved him after a fashion. (We perceive-a

The door opened. veritable JI'Stinger--or first cousin at farthest.) At the first words the Captain stammered

She would have watched and nursed the forth of his encounter with the poor limping Captain for twenty nights, if need be, without a animal, and of the wish which he ventured to murmur; she would not have robbed him of a express of giving refuge to the invalide, Madame farthing though she was “ keeper of the privy Tolibois replied, with the frigidity of mock purse;" and she would have scorned to appro- humility, Oh, you are the master : you can priate as tithe the “first broth” from the Cap- lodge any one you please; if you choose you can tain's inexpensive stew, still less would she have bring here all the thieves and vagabonds you taken a glass from the half bottle of wine which meet. Oh, this may amuse you." served him for dinner, and made up the de- This apparent acquiescence of the houseficiency from the pure spring. (No, she levied keeper alarmed the Captain all the more that he tithes and taxes, much more difficult and disagree- detected several times during the evening the able to pay.)

black looks that Madame Tolibois slyly cast on But alas, these rare and excellent qualities his favourite, though poor Bataillon strove to were counterbalanced by a fearful despotism, and behave like the most humble and the least the display of a ferocious jealousy in respect to troublesome creature possible. every attachment or ainusement which the old Night came, and the old soldier expressed a soldier formed or indulged in. A terrible and wish that the dog should sleep on the ground in lamentable instance of this ferocious jealousy, is a corner of his room. what we are going to record.

“Ah, it's a fine thing to be a favourite-what One day when the Captain was taking his ac- next I wonder !” exclaimed Madame Tolibois, customed walk, he was most perseveringly fol- with a malicious burst of laughter which made lowed by an ill-favoured cur-a creature in the Captain tremble and fear to irritate this terwretched condition, and minus a fore paw; but rible woman. from its intelligent eyes there beamed a sup- In his trepidation he exclaimed, “After all, plicating glance. This poor invalide of the the dog should not be accustomed to pettingcanine race interested the reteran, who rejoiced he had better sleep in the garden." to think that he should henceforth have a com- This concession appeared slightly to calm the panion in his walks, and in memory of his old fury of the enemy: profession he named him at once Bataillon. “Go to bed, Bataillon-go away,” said the Yet it would be difficult to describe the tribula- Captain, in his roughest voice. tion of the good man, while returning home- The dog immediately obeyed, and left the wards he pondered as to the welcome Madame room with drooping tail; but not without castTolibois would give this new messmate, already ing a sorrowful glance at his new master. doubly interesting in his character of a lost dog (Which said, as plainly as eyes could say, and a cripple.

merciful AND FIRM, dear master; this cruel The financial question ought not to have any woman will tell you perhaps that she likes dogs serious weight, for the cur was a little creature, well enough in their places. Alas! I know the and although the Captain's pay imposed on him horrid people who say that acknowledge no the strictest economy, this one additional mouth PROPER PLACES, but the depths of a duck-pond would surely scarcely be felt; but before Batail- or the kennel of a street !) lon could be thoroughly at home, it would be Madame Tolibois opened the door which led

from the ground-floor to a little garden, and * From The Keepsake, 1848.

with one kick sent the dog to the middle of

“ Be

the grass-plot. To this inhospitable treatment, not a corner escaped; but no Bataillon was to Bataillon submitted without a cry (I wish he had be found. bitten her); but, guided by instinct, he hobbled Captain David, not a little disturbed, returned back and stretched himself on the ground be to the house and called Madame Tolibois, who neath the Captain's window.

was in no hurry to answer the summons; and Eight days passed away, each one increasing when she did appear her face was very pale. the attachment of the veteran for Bataillon, who

Where is Bataillon ?" said the old soldier, was in truth an affectionate, intelligent creature. in an anxious voice; “ for this quarter of an hour In their daily walks, though he ran backwards I have been calling and seeking him.” and forwards, he never strayed far from his To these questions Madame Tolibois replied master's side; and notwithstanding his own by a blaspheming parody of Cain's words :smallness, he was ready to attack any strange “You did not give me your Bataillon to keep," dog, however large, whó so much as looked at and the housekeeper became yet more pallid, his master; with one bound he would throw and her voice trembled, and she dared not look himself on the intruder, and almost always com- her master in the face. pelled him to retreat. It was this warlike quality

No keen observer, and not the least suspicious, which persuaded the Captain that Bataillon the Captain did not notice Madame Tolibois

' had lost his paw in battle; a conviction which confusion; and after having sought Bataillon in still more enderred him. In-doors the creature vain in the house and in the garden, he went out, was full of winning ways and pretty tricks. If thinking that the dog might perhaps have run the Captain let fall his handkerchief, Bataillon into the street-misconduct, however, of which would pick it up, and he would range himself the poor brute had not been guilty. on his hind legs of his own accord before his The Captain had walked but a few steps, when master, who would perhaps give him one side of at the distance of perhaps a gun-shot, he perhis tobacco-case to hold between his teeth, while ceived some object at the bottom of his gardenhe filled his pipe at leisure from the contents; wall. He hastened thither— but what a spectacle Bataillon remaining still all the while, and press- presented itself ! ing the bag with all the strength of his jaw.

In a pool of blood still steaming, lay the body In short, the dog made himself so agreeable in of a dog, completely despoiled of its skin. A a thousand ways, that the Captain was constantly horrible suspicion rushed to the veteran's mind; exclaiming, “Dear little Bataillon : he only he stooped-examined the paws-alas! the right wants speech to be the most perfect comrade !"

fore

paw was wanting; there could be no further Alas! these words so flattering to the dog,

doubt-it must be Bataillon! were fatally treasured by Madame Tolibois.

On raising his head with mournful stupor, the Day by day the housekeeper became more Captain perceived at the other end of the degloomy, more silent, more absent; but unluckily quickly, and who turned round more than once

-very the Captain-as little suspicious as clear-sighted, to look' anxiously behind him. It was the in Bataillon gave him-did not observe the morose, Madame Tolibois had held the mysterious inand sometimes furious looks of the dreadful

terview. On one occasion even returning home somewhat earlier than he was expected, he veteran was still active; and anger doubling his

Notwithstanding his age and his wounds, the surprised the housekeeper at the door in a whispered conference with an ill-looking man

strength, he soon overtook the chiffonnier, and with a long heard, who departed quickly as he played among the treasures of the inan with a

saw the skin-Bataillon's skin-gory trophy disapproached; but the Captain, blind and

beard ! suspicious like the happy man that he was, attached no importance to the circumstance.

To seize him by the throat, pluck from him One night he retired to rest as usual; no fatal break it across his head, was for the Captain but

the stick by which he supported his load, and to presentiment, no ghastly visions troubled the the work of a moment, notwithstanding the rerepose of the old soldier-on the contrary he sistance of his adversary, who was stunned by dreamed that Bataillon had beaten the famous this sudden attack. Munito at dominoes, and on the latter caninewonder questioning the fairness of the game, Captain, redoubling his blows"; " thou it is who

Ah, thou hast stolen him," exclaimed the Bataillon had demanded instant satisfaction for hast killed and skinned my poor brave dog." the insult, and had mangled the famous domino

- But listen to me," said the other, parrying player to his heart's content. Morning dawned; and the Captain, delighted your dog; it was given to me-an old woman at

the blows as well as he could; “I did not steal with his dream, rose early, and went into the number seven. I will make her own it before garden, where a little house had been constructed you, if you will not believe me.” for Bataillon, probably with the intention of telling his vision to the dog himself. But Captain, thunderstruck by such intelligence.

“She gave it you !--that dog!" screamed the the kennel was empty; and when the old “She gave it you to kill !” soldier called “ Bataillon," Bataillon did not

“ No, not to kill him, but to lose him," replied answer.

the chiffonnier; “but a dog's skin is always

woman.

un

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with rage.

you are!”

you?

of the brute, why I have undressed him, that's of poor Bataillon, and by degrees Madame Toliall !"

bois resumed all her old habits of angry, jealous The Captain's anger changed its object; he tyranny. let the chiffonnier grumble and rub his sides, Reader, drop a tear for Bataillon! (And don't and quickly retraced his steps homewards, on any account find the least palliation for the wiping away a tear as he passed by the remains horrible old woman, or suppose that she had one of poor Bataillon. On entering his house he particle of real affection for her master. Make sent for Madame Tolibois, and exclaimed in clear the moral that is only shadowed in this angry tones, “You are a wicked creature-leave trifling sketch. There is hardly a commoner the house instantly!"

error in the world than to mistake the evidences of Never before had the Captain appeared to his the narrowest selfishness und of wounded self-love, housekeeper but as an easy, good-natured man, for tokens of AFFECTION! What a mockery! and she was ready to faint on seeing him for the And yet from the nursery to the death-chamber of first time, with eyes flashing fury-his figure the octogenarian, how commonly the error predistended, and his white moustache bristling vails ! Through all the phases of life-through

all the sorts of regard we experience-how seldom “ Heavens, Sir,” she exclaimed “what is the are we capable of self-devolion! How often do matter?-you frighten me to death!"

we love, or like, because by some reflected grace, “ The matter! Why, that you have given my

our loving or liking brings pride and pleasure

to ourselves! But REAL AFFECTION-be it poor dog to the rag-merchant, who has killed him for his skin; good-for-nothing wretch that that of mother, sister, wife, lover, or friend

mingles its likings with the lovings of the loved

presence “ He has killed him! Oh, the rogue! I object, is self-devoting, and knows not the swear to you, Sir, by all that is sacred that I only shrivel, and sicken, and die, in the spacious home

of the dwarfish fiend Jealousy; which would gave him the accursed cur to lose him."

of a large and noble heart, and in the presence of * And why? What harm did the dog do its princely virtues.)

“What harm ?” cried Madame Tolibois, bursting into tears, and giving vent to her pent-up hatred; “what harm did the accursed dog do me? Well, I will tell you. You thought of

STANZAS. nobody but him-you had neither eyes nor ears for any one else; since he has been here you

Thou vale of peace, my early home, cared for me less than him-less than a dog!

What changes Time has wrought ; You called him your COMRADE; while I-I was Since last, a giddy thoughtless child, only your servant. Yes, I, who have served

Thy solitudes I sought. you for ten years—I was to give place to the new comer-a sly, deceitful vagabond, that you While songs, from lips that now are mute, had only known eight days!"

Came sweetly to mine ear, "Why, you are mad.”

And sunshine glittered on the stream

That rolled, in silence, near. “No, Sir, I am not mad; but I should soon have become so from grief. Since the dog

As I retrace each former haunt, came I have not slept--I have not eaten; twenty

Sad recollections rise : times have I been on the point of giving hiin a

And I can scarce repress the tears ball that would have been his last-the nasty That tremble in mine eyes; creature; but I did not dare, for I have not so bad a heart as you think. And yet it was but a For o I miss the dear-loved few brute after all--a dog! At last it came to this, The artless and sincere ; that either he or I must go, and I certainly pre- With whom I've oft, in other days, ferred it should be him-and so I agreed with Held sweet communion here. the chiffonnier that he should lose him at the other end of Paris; but as for killing him-no

Ah! since I last with them conversed, never !"

It seems but yesterday,

So noiseless is the sweep of years—, However strange and stupid the jealousy of

Yet where, O where, are they? Madame Tolibois, it appeared to the old soldier so founded on a sincere and devoted affection,

The young-some bask in fortune's smiles, that, detestable as was the form it had taken, he

And some neglected stray ; was finally appeased.

But all would give their present joys The housekeeper went herself to seek the re- For what have passed away. mains of Bataillon, which were solemnly interred in a corner of the garden, beneath the little The old-I fain would share their lothouse which the old soldier had built for his To them a sleep is given,

mpanion. And henceforth, notwithstanding Wbich, though a long one, yet shall endhis regrets, Captain David had the generosity to

And they shall wake in heaven. refrain from all allusion to the melancholy fate Glenview.

J. A. A.

A FEW REMARKS ON MANY THINGS.

BY MRS, VALENTINE BARTHOLOMEW.

No. III.-HUMBUG.

(Continued from page 96.)

Tradespeople, particularly mercers, are often rating the beauty of French goods, thereby guilty of a most reprehensible piece of humbug, inducing the tradesman to pass off English for in announcing in large letters, “ The WHOLE those of foreign manufacture, at an excellent OF THIS STOCK TO

BE SOLD OFF, AT AN profit to himself. One of the principal attendAWFUL SACRifice," the goods exhibited to ants in a fashionable establishment at the west general view being labelled much below their end of London received an offer of double value; but when you enter the shop, articles of salary, if he would go over to a rival house, his a very inferior kind are passed off as being adroitness at humbugging female customers similar to those hung up in the windows; and being so well known in the trade; but one day if you complain of the imposition, you are told even Mr. Sim's patience was well nigh exhausted with the coolest effrontery, “ that the mistake is by a lady who wanted to purchase a shawl. Bale yours.” I was once much amused by hearing after baie was opened to no purpose; some she an altercation between a lady and the person would not condescend to look at, others were who waited on her : the purchaser had bought too common and cheap; and she was preseveral yards of handsome ribbon she had re- paring to depart without making choice of any. marked in passing by as being advertised at a thing, when Mr. Sims, with his blandest smile, very moderate price, and had thrown down a thus accosted her : “ Pray, madam, allow me to note on the counter for change, previous to her detain you a little longer. I believe there is still examining the bill, which too late she found waiting in our warehouse a merchant's agent, amounted to double the sum she expected; on who has brought some very recherché foreign remonstrating, she got no redress, but was articles of dress, which after our approval we assured, if she would take the trouble to step to intend forwarding directly to the Duchess of the window, she would see the charge was cor- S-; it is just possible that some shawls may rect in her account; the lady, convinced that be amongst them; if you will allow me, I will in. she was in the right, made her way as fast as stantly go and see, for I would rather disoblige possible through the doorway, choked up with her Grace than lose a customer like yourself, who packages ; but before reaching the window, the has shown such profound taste.” The bait was dexterous serving-man had exchanged the low- swallowed, and the flattered dame waited on the priced ticket for one of a much higher figure. tiptoe of expectation, until Mr. Sims returned The same quality of ribbon might have been with a triumphant air, bearing gracefully on his bought for half the amount at a respectable arm two shawls of delicate texture, one of which establishment.

was instantly purchased at an exorbitant sum, An old bachelor went once to purchase a and was the exact counterpart of a low-priced counterpane of a particular size, and was shown one which a few minutes previously the lady had one which the shopkeeper declared to be three scornfully refused to look at. Verily the peryards long, and that he would sell it at cost suasive powers of people in trade are very great, price, which was eighteen shillings; the keen but they do not always suceeed. A gentleman eye of the gentleman instantly detected that it went one day to buy some boots; and after trywas not nearly the size asserted, but he said ing on a pair which was considerably too tight, nothing; and when the parcel was tied up, he' the bootmaker assured him that it was an adput down a shilling, demanding change. The vantage, for leather stretched so amazingly; but man smiled, and bowing, said, I believe, sir, the gentleman, who had a loving regard for his you are not aware of the mistake you have ten toes, determined to fit on another pair, and made; you have only given me a shilling." then complained that they were too large. “Ah, “ Well," replied the gentleman, “ you call your sir,” said the man, “after a bit they will suit counterpane three yards long, and by the same you exactly, for they will shrink to the size of rule I call my shilling a sovereign.” It need your foot." With such a contradiction, “it scarcely be added, that the bachelor pocketed were bootless to relate” that the customer his money, and the mortified shopkeeper lost his walked away bootless. customer.

How often country milliners make a journey It must be confessed that a great many to town, to buy the last year's fashions at an exknavish tricks are encouraged by the follies of cellent advantage to themselves, passing them our own sex, who are ever craving for and over- off as the newest Parisian mode ; by which

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A Few Remarks on Many Things.

157

scheme mothers and daughters pay very dearly,' bed in the middle of the night to attend their and the ugliest cap or bonnet is made to be vagaries : it is true he indemnifies himself for thought “ the sweetest thing in the world,” by his trouble, by sending them two or three the talismanic use of flattery.

draughts, daily, of rose-water, flavoured with THE AMIABLE HUMbug has great power aniseed. cver widows and spinsters of a certain age ; a One has but little sympathy with those fanpenniless young man, with prepossessing man- ciful individuals who, in an elegant dressingners, and a pair of moustaches, is sure to gain gown, recline all day long, in studied attitudes, the full control over the purse and the heart of upon the sofa, giving their orders in a voice an elderly juvenile fair one, provided he has the scarcely beyond a whisper, and putting the patience to be her humble slave. He usually whole household in confusion by their capribegins his attack with lending her anonymous cious wants ; but who are ever ready to accept books, in the true sentimental style; and when an invitation to a party, and watch for the best he is asked who wrote that “ love of a work,” opportunity to play the heroine, and create a he hesitates, and looks confused, and at last sensation by fainting away, owns that he is the author, but mysterious cir- It is said that Rowland Hill was so annoyed cumstances cause bis name to be kept a pro- by this habit, which often took place in the midfound secret ; then, with his eyes turned up, die of his sermon, that one morning, when his and his shirt collar turned down, he proceeds congregation was in expectation of hearing the to relate his romantic adventures, and concludes text, he startled them all by abruptly saying, by telling his wonder-struck and credulous that if any of the female part of his flock were listener that she is the image of his lost love, disposed to faint away, he begged they would who was beautiful as a star, and kind as an do so at once, before the sermon began : such angel. After such a compliment, you may be an exhortation had its due effect, for the preachsure a knife and fork are always laid for him at er’s discourse was never again interrupted. the dinner hour; and his evenings are spent in Real sufferers often make light of their afflictaking his inamorata to plays, balls, and con- tion, and conceal their pain under a cheerful certs, to which places she of course franks him, or resigned countenance, fearful that they should and pays his tailor's bill into the bargain. Spe- give an additional pang of anxiety to those who cimens of this class are generally very free and surround them; and well are they rewarded by easy, upon excellent terms with themselves and the affectionate care and solicitude of all who all the world; they will speak of young ladies, know them. The worst servants are ever willing when their parents are not present, as my in the hour of illness to give their aid to the friend Charlotte,” or “ dear Mary Jane,” told members of their master's family, provided the them so and so, just to let the world see how inti- sickness is not exaggerated by the patient. mate they are with such or such a fainily; when It is impossible in a short paper to illustrate in reality the extent of their visiting has never all the tricks Humbug plays off; such as families been beyond a morning call, or a sandwich sup-closing their front windows in the autumn seaper. If they can string a few rhymes together, son, and retiring to their back rooms, so that it is no unusual thing for the amiable humbug their visiting acquaintances may suppose that to write some tender poetry to themselves in a they are gone with the fashionable world to disguised band, and pass it off as an effusion of watering places. Spending Sunday evenings some dear creature who has felt the wound of out with friends, and leaving word with the serthe little god!

vants, in case any one calls, that they are gone A gentleman was one evening boasting of the to chapel, or on some charitable errand; and many pocket-handkerchiefs it had been his good young ladies with delicate appetites, who reeist fortune to receive as presents from various all persuasions to eat at a dinner party more than ladies; bis own initials being marked with their “ half that wing,” because they have made an hair. A lady who had only heard the last part excellent meal at home off mutton chops, &c. &c. of this speech, said with great naiveté, Ah, at luncheon. Persons who make a parade of Mr. Smith, you are such a good man! my little taking nothing but water, can often swallow embroideress tells me you are the best and cle- very comfortably in private three or four glasses verest customer she has, for you always make of wine. Professional people, praising each choice of the prettiest hair and the best devices other's performances to one another as being which her box of patterns contains.” Poor Mr. “ exquisite, charming," “ the finest work Smith looked very hot and red, as he saw his ever seen or heard;" then going to a neighbour, companions exchange sly glances with one in confidence, and exclaiming against what they another at the apropos remark of the speaker. had before extolled.

Doctors have a very agreeable way of hum- But how many sincere individuals there are, bugging their would-be interesting patients—a who feel ashamed to express the deep and loving class of silly females who, idle, inert, and with a emotions of their souls, lest they should come large share of vanity, endeavour to produce a under the denomination of what the world calls sensation among their friends, by speaking and HUMBUG! dilating upon their nervous complaints ; such people fancy theirs are the sole cases which can command the profound attention of a medical man, who is often called out of his comfortable

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