But hark-a stealthy tread-'tis the Superintendent!

"I am very much in need of another teacher; one of my teachers is away to-day, and won't you be good enough to take his place?"

"Well, I should rather say not!" I remarked to my inner self, while outwardly I stammered: "Why -thank you, sir-but, really-it has been so long since I had such a pleasure-that-really, I fear I could scarcely-do the subject justice."

But the Superintendent was quite sure, etc.; and after about five minutes of this fascinating debate, during which what seemed to me about a thousand eyes were feasting upon my glowing features-my temperature having gone from eighty-five to the neighborhood of eight hundred-my charming seventh cousin came swaying swan-like down the aisle, saying:

"Oh! do ask him to take a class; he teaches a class beautifully; only he needs a little urging!"

"O Sapphira, Sapphira! how the modern nineteenyear-old, brown-eyed Sunday-school teacher can leave you behind when she wants to!"

"You just take this lesson paper and ask the questions; they're all printed there, you see; and they answer them, and that's all!"

I looked toward the door, but two corpulent females stood there in protracted converse. To squeeze between them was impossible. The lowness of the lintel precluded a wild leap over their heads; the windows were closed and calked with cotton since the

winter. So I walked meekly down the aisle, my heart throbbing with religious emotion, and took my place before my class. There they sat-ten boys of them, waiting for the fray. I seized the lesson paper; there they were, just ten questions of them, waiting to be asked. With an impressive Sabbatical intonation I began dealing out the ten interrogations from left to right. Regarding the accuracy of the answers the brevity of my preparation did not permit me to form an authoritative opinion. Regarding their speed there could be no question; and hardly had I begun before I found myself at the last boy, and my last question used up. I looked around at the Superintendent to see if he showed signs of closing the office, but he appeared to be right in the midst of business hours and was holding a very cheerful conversation with my afore-mentioned Sapphiratical relative.

I gazed about at the other teachers; they were all deep in the instruction of youth. The time for folding your tents, like the Arabs, had evidently not yet arrived. It was safe to say that I'd got to ask that class some more questions. Bright thought! I'll begin at the other end. So I did, reading out the meagre words as slowly and lingeringly as possible. But there I was again at the last boy. I peered anxiously around. The Superintendent was still chatting with enchanting obliviousness; his able corps of assistants were still in the heat and din of the engagement.

"Boys," said I, striving as best I could to conceal my emotion, "how long does this last ?"

"Till four."

I shot an eager glance at the ecclesiastical timepiece over my head; it was seventeen minutes past three.

"My good-" but I checked myself. I was way up in front, where everybody could see. I'd got to keep things moving, or there'd be no end of scandal. Calling up all the resources of a well-disciplined mind, I speedily hit upon another plan, and asked my ten precious questions all over again, making the boys answer in concert. This got rid of several minutes. It was now twenty-six minutes past three. An awkard pause; a moment of intense thought; then I had them answer, beginning at the last question and going backward. Then I had all the boys over twelve years of age recite in turn; then all under twelve. It was now nineteen minutes of four.

Then I began again at the first question, making each boy stand up and face the opposite wall, while he answered. Thirteen minutes and twenty-nine seconds of four!

Boys," said I, beginning to warm to the work, now stand up and answer these questions again, lifting your right foot off the floor as you do so; now your left foot; now both feet." Six minutes eighteen and nine-tenth seconds of four!

"Boys," said I, mopping my dewy brow, "I will ask you these questions again; and, as each one is called up, he must first stand on his feet and repeat his answer backward; and then stand on his head and repeat it sideways."

I had only, however, got as far as the fourth boy when the bell rang and the school closed.

This happened three months ago, but my physician tells me it will yet be a long time before I can endure any severe mental strain; and that I must not think of resuming the onerous duties of my profession. I tell you this is pretty hard, when I had such a fine start, with a nice, light office and upholstered swivel chair; and my letter-heads all printed and everything all ready for a case.

A NOVEL POEM.

J. P. LYONS.

“JANE EYRE,” “Beneath the Greenwood Tree,”

And robed "In Silk Attire,"

Stood waiting for "Our Mutual Friend,"
And wished that he was nigh her,
For she in need of "Hard Cash " was,
And "Hard Times" did she dread;
He plays a game of " Hide and Seek,"
"He Cometh Not, She Said."

"The Wandering Heir" at last appeared, "A Celebrated Case,"

He'd gambled "To the Bitter End,"

"Put Yourself in His Place."

"Good Bye, Sweetheart," I must away,

I've wrecked "A Noble Life."
Never Too Late to Mend," she cried,
We'll yet be "Man and Wife."

"Oh, Love Me Little, Love Me Long,"
"Not Wisely, but Too Well."
"The Romance of a Poor Young Man"
He quick to her did tell,

And how he did "A Dark Night's Work "
To gain a lofty station.
"A Noble Woman" should forgive
"A Terrible Temptation."

"Twenty Years After" the above,
"A Treasure Trove " he struck;
The "Golden Butterfly " was his-
Folks said 'twas "Rare Good Luck."
"Great Expectations" came at last
To realize his wishes.

He covered then his "Queen of Hearts,"
With "Bread and Cheese and Kisses."

Up in "The Village on the Cliff,"

a Bleak House" alone;

Stands 66

;

"Her Lord and Master now he is,

And this place is their home.

For "Her Face was Her Fortune," yes,

And nearly he "Twice Lost " her;

He has been almost "Three Times Dead " To find out "What He Cost Her."