"It

manifested in this also. The time permitted him to labour here was short; and his growth in grace and Christian experience proportionably rapid. His deep views of the exceeding sinfulness of sin, with which first convictions and the probable prospect of death were attended, far from ever lessening with returning health, and prospect of life and of all temporal enjoyments, seemed rather to be increasing. I would mention one incident, which occurred nearly a twelvemonth after his first illness. Whilst sitting in his study, he told me that he wished to send the venerable Mr. Scott some little testimony of esteem; that he did not choose to do so without my knowledge and consent; and that he had just concluded a letter to him, which he wished me to read. tells him," he said, "who was the writer of the letter so many years ago, and of my wretchedness and sinfulness since that period;" and then, in an agony of grief I never before saw so great, he rose hastily from his seat, put his hand to his forehead, sobbed aloud, and leant, completely overcome, against the book-case. Conceiving the letter in question must contain something very fearful, and distressing to him, I entreated it might be sent to Mr. Scott, if, by doing so, he was likely to receive comfort; and advised him not to put it into my hands. He was too much overcome with grief to answer, but rushed out of the room into his own dressing-room, leaving me with the letter, astonished, and fully convinced that I had not yet rightly understood the nature of the burden his conscience laboured

F

under; thankful that he had been led to open his mind to Mr. Scott, and satisfied I should best afford him comfort by remaining in ignorance of the particulars. After some time he returned to the study, perfectly calm; and, on inquiring if I had read the letter, and my replying in the negative, he desired I would read it at once; and said that he had nothing he wished to conceal from me; that I knew enough of what had been his course of life and practical atheism, not to be surprised he should feel on the retrospect. On complying with his injunction, I found the letter contained but a calm, simple, and very short outline of the facts I have mentioned; and certainly little conveyed the idea of the suffering under which it was written;-so fearful was my dear husband at all times of strong expressions, or ever speaking beyond his own religious experience. You know sincerity was always a leading feature of his character; and his great dread of hypocrisy, and detestation of what he called " a talking religion," led him, at all times, as much as possible to avoid speaking of himself, and rather to understate his own feelings. What these feelings were is so clearly expressed in a few lines (which, though not found till after his death, were, I believe, written about this time), that I here transcribe them.

And thou dost still forgive?
My God, what grace is this!

Dost bid the pardon'd rebel live,

And look towards Thee and bliss?

For I most vile have been,
Provok'd Thee to thy face,

Triumph'd in shame, and laugh'd at sin,

And trampled on thy grace.

I heard of all thy love,
And hated when I heard ;
I knew the path that led above,
And that to hell preferr❜d.

I needed not Thy hand
To give my soul to death;
For, left but at my own command,
And I had plunged beneath.

Grace! that not hears alone
The humble suppliant's cry,
But seeks the rebel, hard as stone,
And will not let him die!

Go on, my gracious Lord;

Thy great designs fulfil;

Work with thy Spirit and thy Word,
And mould me to thy will.

In consequence of his determination, as soon as it should be practicable, to enter the Church, our house at Southend was parted with. The distance of this little hamlet from the churches of Lewisham and Beckenham being considerable, my husband had been induced (though not without the sanction of a judicious clerical friend) to invite some of the poor people immediately around us, to join our family eveningservice on the Sunday. From sixty to a hundred sometimes attended; and this means of grace being missed on our quitting the place, led, as I have been informed, to Mr. Forster's kindly lis

tening to the wishes of the people, long afterwards expressed, and eventually to the erection of the present episcopal chapel at Southend. No disapprobation from any quarter was at the time hinted at, or the plan would have been immediately relinquished; but the sequel showed that much had been felt; and it caused serious inconvenience to ourselves, in finally obliging my husband to remove, with his family, into the diocese of Norwich, for his ordination. This, however, was doubtless amongst the events ordered in mercy.

Though of a truly catholic spirit, and by his later life and conversation evidently declaring (as one of Bunyan's pilgrims beautifully expresses it), "I have loved to hear my Lord spoken of; and wherever I have seen the print of his shoe, there have I also desired to set my foot ;" yet my husband was decidedly attached to the Established Church. He valued its membership, heartily subscribed to its Articles, and delighted often to quote in the family, and on other occasions, its Prayers. The Ordination Service he especially admired; and most deeply did he feel it. And though, as you know, he was accustomed to weigh and consider the bearings and difficulties of all subjects brought before him, I never knew him perplexed, as I have known some others, upon the question of conformity to the Church of England. It was in this part of God's vineyard he coveted to labour; and no circumstances ever for a moment induced him to think of overleaping its fences, through any idea of enlarging his field of usefulness.

We quitted Southend in 1821, and resided for six months at Harrow Weald, where my husband had more than permission from Mr. Cunningham to visit the cottages, &c. Mr. C. would gladly have given a title, and we should then have continued in this spot; but from what was most probably a misapprehension, which great pains, and application to the proper authorities, might possibly have set right, this could not be accomplished at Harrow Weald. Mr. Jerram, of Chobham, also, would have given a title; but difficulties arose, and made this course likewise impossible. My dear father's decided opinion, as to the necessity for perfect quietness, and care to abstain for some time from preaching, &c., induced my husband to defer till February, 1822, any further search for a title for orders, or public application for ordination.

In the interval his time was occupied in the diligent study of the Scriptures, and of theology in general. The works of Owen-especially on the Hebrews, Leighton, and Bishop Hall, were amongst his most favourite studies. To me he read large portions of Henry and Scott; and regularly in order, on Saturday evenings, the Missionary Register through. For his own reading, general literature was entirely laid aside. And here I cannot help noticing the harmony and beautiful proportion of his views of Christian duties. The root was truly the planting of the Holy Spirit, and therefore sent forth branches, leaves, and fruits, in their regular order. Personal religion was first attended to; large time set apart for private