SUFFOLK ENGRAVING & ELECTROTYPING CO.,

225 FOURTH AVENUE

TELEPHONE NUMBERS :: : 812, 813, 814 GRAMERCY

To the Pure all Food is Pure

Congressman Snide was the Gentleman Jo
Of the National Pure Food Adulterant Co.,
A strenuous patriot, giving his powers
To the health of this glorious country of ours,
And many's the job he

Conspired in the Lobby

Old laws to make new and new laws to provideWood alcohol brandy

And aniline candy

E'er found a warm friend in Congressman Snide.

(Said General Sneek, "His great wisdom and tact Is shown in the famous Snide Substitute Act.") No business man with a Food to maintain E'er called on that scientist-statesman in vain; With stocks and retainer-fees bulging his coat, The stronger the Poison the stronger his vote. For he said, "What's the pleasure In killin' a measure

Because it protects indigestible grub?

Why try to defeat it?

We don't have to eat it

It's only the Public that's gittin' the nub."

(Said Senator Grabb, in a manner polite, "Unless you are wrong you are certainly right.")

If a chemist came out with a statement to show
Gross fraud in the Pure Food Adulterant Co.,
Then Congressman Snide could his chemist procure
To prove that his product was "perfectly pure."
"For I place great reliance

In subsidized Science,"

Said Congressman Snide, "when it comes to a pinch; When you hire a Professor

(Said Congressman Hush, as he counted the dead, "There's nothin' so fatal as cold-in-the-head.") "For food-education has long been my hobby," Said Snide as the House was convened-in the Lobby, "I'll teach that there Public the things what they need, If I murder 'em all to accomplish the deed! The heart, lungs and thorax Needs brick-dust and borax

A fact which perhaps them there organs don't knowI'm killin' folks off at

A nominal profit

For me and the Pure Food Adulterant Co."

(Said Congressman Leech, "It's inspirin' to feel That feller's onselfish and lofty Ideel!")

By Wallace Irwin in Collier's Weekly.

Advertisement

I have a second-hand automobile for sale. It is in splendid condition. I have just replenished it with new tires. I will also throw in the old ones.

My auto has a new engine. I found that the old one wouldn't work, so I had a new one put in. Also I have had a new carbureter, new chain, new flywheel and new shaft. The machine has just been painted.

When I first got this machine it would go at the rate of forty miles an hour for half a mile, and then lie down and go to sleep for the rest of the day. Now it goes about ten miles an hour on a dog trot, but it gets there.

I will not tell the name of the machine for fear of scaring away a possible customer. But I will say this: That no part of the original machine is with me, every part having long since been replaced.

I would like some one to become interested in my machine. Demonstrations given at any hour of the day or night. I made it myself and know whereof I speak. I will guarantee it for one week.

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How Runs on Banks are Hindered

Some amusing anecdotes are told of the devices resorted to by bankers to gain time and inspire confidence. On one memorable occasion the excited depositors, much to their indignation, were only able to enter the bank one by one, except at the cost of spoiled coats, as the cute manager had caused the door posts to be freshly painted. Another bank prevented a crisis in its affairs by exhibiting in the window large tubs apparently brimful of sovereigns. These tubs, however, were simply upside down and a small quantity of gold only piled up on the bottoms. But the most ingenious doge of all was successfully carried out in Buenos Ayres. There was a run on a large bank, and for several days subscribers besieged the premises, withdrawing money and placing it in another bank on the opposite side of the road. It happened, however, that these two institutions had a private understanding, and as fast as the "safe" bank received the deposits they were returned to the "unsafe" one by an underground passage, with the result that every one marvelled at its continued ability to meet its demands.-The American Banker.

Truly French

There is a pleasant aside in Mr. Marion Crawford's novel, Fair Margaret, now running as a serial in Munsey's Magazine. Mr. Crawford drops the thread of his story to indulge in a bit of literary criticism. French writers, he declares, are convinced there can never be any literature equal to the French, except Edgar Allan Poe's. Yet they are agreeable and polite, and endeavour to treat all writers in the English language with courtesy and consideration. They praise English authors sometimes, but generally compare them with other English authors, not with the French. The highest eulogy they can bestow on any. thing an Anglo-Saxon does is to say: "It is truly French." Says Mr. Crawford: "With all our vanity, should we ever expect to please a French writer by telling him that his work was truly English?"