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seventeen miles in the hour, with might be good reasons—and though some minutes to spare, though she his talk was about cattle, it was was rather a rum one to look at, and never coarse. Indeed, in that respect some said a roarer. The day we Mr Sitwell was a gentleman. made the match she seemed some- As soon as it was disseminated what sweaty, and by no means cos- over the country, that we were to tive; but we had afterwards reason trot him for a hundred, the populato suspect that such symptoms were tion was most anxious to know-on all gammon and spinnage. We were which Cob? And when Colonsay badgered into it on a Saturday, and was announced, such was the burst the affair was to come off on the of national enthusiasm, that we befollowing Wednesday--80 there was lieve he would have been elected, little time for training-nine miles had the choice of a champion out of out and in from the 9th to the 18th the Six been decided by universal mile-stone on the road from Kendal suffrage. In his powers the North to Keswick. The bet between us of England reposed the most unand Sam was a mere hundred gold quaking confidence on the question guineas, and we had plenty of offers of the direction of those powers, the of two to one from other quarters North of England was abroad. His that Colonsay did not accomplish eccentricities he had taken no care the distance within the hour-but we to conceal; but many of them had despise by bets, and never suffer been most erroneously attributed to our skill to be diverted from his master. Rumour, with her hunthe main-chance. That Colonsay dred tongues, had, however, on the would do the distance in less time whole, done justice to his hundred than the Shuffler-for that was the exploits, though they, it was uniname of the mare—we did not versally believed, were but inadedoubt; but whether he was to do the quate exponents of his powers ; distance in an hour or in half-a-do- while his powers, though gloriously zen of hours, a day or a week, would expanded, appeared but to give independ, we knew, on the Book of Ac- timation of his capacities—of which cidents, which we had often found numbers without number numberto contain many chaptere.
less-such was the not unorthodox Sam Sitwell, though not a sin- creed of the Three Counties-were gular, was certainly rather a suspi- held to be folded up for future cious character, and there used to achievement and astonishment, withbe many such about the Lakes. Be- in the compactest bulk in which ing of the sect of the Gnostics, he horse had ever appeared on earth in seldom lost a bet, and never paid quadrupedal incarnation. one; and as he was a better by pro- He had been rather complaining for fession, he lived on the spoil of sim- a fortnight past—and Betty Hawkpletons. There was nothing-Sam rigg, the most scientific veterinary sursaid—like buying every thing for geon in the three northern counties, ready money—and he had almost had within that time given him some every thing to sell_nor was he very powerful balls for what she learnedparticular about a license; but hor- ly called the mully-grubs. But on the ses and carriages—some real, and Tuesday morning he was gay as a lark most imaginary — constituted his —" and as we looked there seemed chief stock in trade, with a few a fire about his eyes.” All that day bona fide tenth-hand piano-fortes, Will Ritson-unknown to us—had a fiftieth-hand spinnet, and a couple kept absolutely cramming him with of indisputable burdy-gurdies that corn, which, considering that he had had made the tour of Europe. Sit- been taken off grass on the Saturday well and we were good friends evening, was more kind than consienough, for he was really, after all, derate; and on entering the stable no such very unpleasant fellow- to see his bed made for the night, was uncommonly handsome-which you may, with a lively imagination is not a little in a man's favour as form some faint idea of our horror the world wags-nay, had even an and astonishment as we beheld air distingué—was never quarrelsome Colonsay, with his nose in a bucket, in our company-for which there licking up the remains of a hot mess of materials, many of them to us ano- of cavalry circling the house-and nymous, or worse than anonymous, leaping from the blankets to the which, at the commencement of his window, we had a glimpse of Colonmeal, had, we were credibly in- say, at the head of our Five Ironformed by a bystander, overflowed greys, as the living whirlwind was the vessel of administration. His passing by, while the edifice shook sides were swollen as if they were from turret to foundation-stoneat the bursting, and the expres- and then all again was still in the sion of his countenance was deci- morning calm. Was this too a dedly apoplectic. We did not see dream The dewdrops, as they lay how we could much mend the mat- on the roses clustering round our ter by knocking down our train- latticed window, had that undisturbing-groom; and the question was, ing and soul-satisfying beauty that were we to give the patient who belongs to the real world of life. So to-morrow was to be the agent, a we huddled on our breeches, and purge or an emetic. As there was no out into the morning, without our time to be lost-the start was to be braces, to penetrate into the heart at six—the former seemed the pre- of the mystery, and ascertain if this ferable plan; but was it practicable? were indeed the flesh and blood and No. No mixture could so move the bone Colonsay, or a grey phantom iron stomach of Colonsay; and dappled by the dawn, to cheat imagi, though it was admitted on all hands, nation's eyes. It was the veritable and that no drastic would much weaken invincible Colonsay, who, somewbat him, yet'twas judged prudent, un- blown, but very far from bursting, der all the circumstances, not to dis-, came galloping to us "on the front." turb his bowels, and to leave nature He had let himself out of the unto herself to get rid, before morning, locked stable, by lifting up the latch in her own quiet way, of some por- —more majorum—with that long uption at least of that ill-timed reple- per lip of his, lithe as a proboscis, tion. That this resolution was a wise and as if prescient of the coming one we soon found-for Ritson, by exploit that was casting its shadow way of comforting us, and justifying before, had been taking his gallop himself, informed us with a knowing with the squad to put himself into smile, that he knew what he was wind, and was now fit to trot against about better than to give a horse a the steed that carried the old woman mash the night before a trotting- of Berkely, with a personage before match for a hundred guineas, with her who at present shall be strictly out putting into it as inuch doctor's anonymous, even though the goal stuff as would clear him out, by peep were to have been in that place of day, as clean as a whistle. With which nor poet nor preacher ever this cheering assurance we went to mentions before ears polite. We took bed, leaving orders that we should him like 'Time by the forelock,and led be called at five.
him with outstretched neck to his Our dreams were disturbed, and stall, looking like a winner. Now we
There is no treatise on training mounted on a serpent, that in mazy either of man or horse worth a dram. error strove to insinuate its giant For our own parts we never ran a bulk through a thicket, in pursuit of match on an empty stomach and another reptile ridden by a wretch we never were so near being beat in in scarlet, but was unable to progress our lives as in a four-mile race on after that amphisbæna dire, because Knaresmire by a Yorkshire clodof a huge knot in its belly, formed by hopper, who an hour before starting an undigested goat, which it had had breakfasted, as was his wont, on swallowed, horns and all, the pro. beans and bacon, and half-a-gallon of truding points threatening to pierce butter-milk. Ourselves alone, who the distension of its speckled skin, heard it walloping and rumbling beand one of them absolutely piercing hind us, can conceive the nature of it--and then a horrid gush of garb. the noise in his stomach, on making age and blood. Then we seemed to play. Belshazzar, fools and knaves be-but, thank heaven, our night- say, lost his race t'other month, by mare was scared from our convulsed having been given a pail of water. vehicle by the thunder of a charge Stuff! Had it been in him to win, he might have emptied a trough, and head and bloody bones," is not only then dined upon the stakes. Here an intelligible but picturesque ex. was Colonsay—three days only off pression ; but we fear-thou Cockgrass that tickled his belly-allowed, ney-that in constantly saying "rawwe verily believe, during the Three boned Scotchman,” thou pratest out Days in which a revolution was car- of thy little primer. Our bones are ried into effect in his metropolis, by not raw, so let us lay thee across our Ritson to feed ad libitum out of the knee-with thy face to the floor. corn-chest - the lid having been Hush! no crying — be mute as a taken off its hinges_mashed and marine under the cat. Now go home physicked to an unkuown extent at to your mamma—that is, your wife sunset-and lo! at sunrise, like a -and on shewing her the broadswallow, a lark, a pigeon, or a hawk, stone of honour, implore her, by her as gay, as lively, as agile, and as hun: conjugal love and faith, to whisper gry—and yelling to be off and away in thy ear, whether it be bone of her Jike an eagle about to leap from the bone that she weepeth to see so raw cliff and cleave the sky.
before her eyes, or flesh of her flesh. None but a fool will ride a trot- But we have been digressing-and ting-match in a racing saddle-or on our return see Sitwell in a wrapwith any bit but a snaffle-let his rascal, mounted on a mouse of a nag's mouth be leather or lead. Our thing-a lad leading the famous Shuffavourite saddle then was one that fler mare in clothing, to the admiraaccording to authentic tradition bad tion of the assemblage. At a signal belonged to the famous Marquis of from his master, the imp undressed Granby-and holsters and all weigh- the Phenomenon, and there stood ed not far short of a couple of stone. the spanking jade, in a Newmarket The stirrup-irons would have made saddle not more than four pounds a couple of three pound quoits. Be- with all appurtevances-in beautiful tween pommel and peak, you sat condition-for the symptoms of Sa. undislodgeably embedded, and could turday had been all assumed for a be unhorsed but laterally-a feat, blind—but without effect-for here however, which Colonsay, by what it was diamond cut diamond-and we used to call the "swinging side- Colonsay, though perhaps still a litstart,” did more than once teach us, tle purtled, and not sufficiently not only without difficulty, but with drawn up in the flank, had mani. the greatest ease and alacrity to per- festly made the most of the mash, form. No need for a crupper with and was in high spirits. No wonder such a shoulder as his, yet to make indeed that he was more than usual. assurance doubly sure, a crupper ly elated; for we afterwards discothere was, attached to a tail that vered that the humane and speculaignorant of ginger"wreathed its old tive Ritson, while we were taking fantastic roots so high,” ominous of breakfast, bad given him the better conquest. “ Our bosom's lord sat portion of a quart of gin-mixed lightly on his throne,” as we shewed with water, it is true-beverage what we once must have been, by known by the appropriate name of vaulting like a winged Mercury into half-and-half. He hardly condescenthe Marquisate, and attended by our ded to look at the Shuffler-a single posse comitatus, proceeded towards glance seemed to suffice to inspire the starting-post visible to the eyes our magnanimous animal with sentiof the cognoscenti, in the shape of ments of consummate contempt for an unelaborate milestone grey and his spindle-shanked antagonist, who, green with the rust and lichens of though he possibly might have some years.
speed, had obviously little or no botAttended by our posse comitatus ! tom ; nor were those sentiments Why - look and behold! all the moderated by the sudden transforworld and his wife. And not that mation of Sitwell into a regular worthy couple alone, but all the Newmarket jockey, booted, buckchildren. They want but somewhat skinn'd, jacketed, and capp'd—a a very higher cheek-bones to be as good. Buckle--shining in silk like a spotlooking a people as the Scotch. What ted leopard-and now mounted-pray-do you mean by the epithet though that was a fashion of his own raw-applied to bones ? " 'Raw- -whip in mouth-with squared elbows and doubled fists, as if he were whip-for one spur in the head is preparing to spar on borseback. worth two on the heel-tongue tells
What å contrast did all this rhodo- better than thong, and lip than leamontade, hectoring, and parade, on ther-pretty well back in the sadthe part of him Samuel Sitwell, af- dle-knees in — heels down - and ford to the simple, almost bashful, toes up-but that not much-with a bearing of us Christopher North! somewhat stern aspect, but a loose We rode in our mere Sporting Jacket rein, sat cock-a-hoop on Colonsay --and as we well knew there is no pawing in his pride, all that was saying what a day may bring forth, mortal of Christopher North-sidey. we slung our fishing. basket on our for-sidey with the semblance of shoulder—in one of our holsters stuck Sammy Sitwell and his mare Shufour fishing rod and umbrella—and in fer. the other—'twas its first season-up- The spectacle was at once beauti. fixed the Crutch. We are no enemy ful and magnificent. Far as the eye to knee-breeches—and pretty wear could reach, not a living thing was are white cords; but having in the visible on the long line of road. But course of our travels been on the the walls and eminences all crowded, Don, we experienced such pleasure yet motionless, with life! What a in Cossacks, that our friend the Het- confused brightness of bonnetsman—since the famous Platow, each with its own peculiar ribbandpresented us with several pair, the whole many.hued as our friend which we occasionally wear to this Mr Oliver's tulip-garden, now transday-well known all over Scotland ferred as by magic to Newington as North's Eternals. In the general from Canaan! A wondrous beauty is agitation of that morning, our valet the beauty breathed all at once from had forgotten to attach to our ankle- thousands of beautiful faces, affectfringes our sole-straps, so that long ing the soul of a man as one beauty before the play was over, the Rus- and as one face-till wavering-hosia-duck had wriggled itself up both vering for a while in sweet dislegs alike, into a knob on either traction along and over the whole knee, that to appearance consider- lovely lines, and columns, and mass. ably impaired that symmetry for es, and solid squares, be longs in inwhich even then our limbs continued effable and almost objectless desire to be eminently distinguished. The among so many objects to take the ducks were white as innocence, for million into his arms, and smother it they had been bleached on the sunny with multitudinous kisses-leaving banks of lucid Windermere, and on- no lip untasted-and no eye unly the day before had been fondly touched-a kiss comprehensive as imagined by a party of young ladies conception-an embrace capacious - Lakers from London—to be late. as creation-when air, earth, and left patches of virgin snow.
sea, are all three seen lying together not till the maidens walked up to diffused in one spirit-the serenity them, that blushing they discovered of elemental Love and primeval their mistake-nor, had the party at Peace ! the same time discovered what they Tents too—and flags flying from really were, would it have been possi- the apex of many a pyramid ! Fruit ble to analyze their emotions. The and gingerbread stalls—and long stockings in which we rode were lines of canvass-backed houses fitted worsted-rig - and - fur-and blue, up for shops! That is Sail Street and our feet were in high-lows laced and we smoke Blanket Square. O with thunks. In summer we wear Vanity Fair! And is Christopher po waistcoat except the bosom-and- North the tutelary saint of this asbody - flannel - friend beneath our semblage! Is be the loadstone that shirt, and our shirt we need not say has attracted so many steel-stays was cerulean-check, for we had seen confining so many lovely bosoms! a little service at sea-and Pretty Yet 'twill be a happy holiday! and Poll with her own small fingers had there will be wrestling in the ring figured our flowing collar. On the —and the sun as he sinks will bid front of our japanned hat might be the moon rise to preside over innoread in yellow letters—Nil Timeo; cent orgies—and the merry stars and thus equipped-sans spur, sans will join in the blue heaven the
dancers on the green earth, and times sprinkled with an excellent when the mirth and music all die assortment of well-chosen, acuteas die they must-the owls will too- angled pebbles, from a pound weight hoo the dawn-and the dawn will up to half a stone; to pick his way let drop her dews—and all Nature among them would have been difwill be purely still as if all the dan- ficult to the most attentive quadru. cing and deray of St Christopher's ped even at a slow walk—at a fast day, eve, and night, had been but the trot impossible ; and we frankly condream of a Shade !
fess, that, though we were far from Billy Balmer fired his signal pistol hoping it might happen, for that —and at the flash off we went like would have spoiled sport, we thought a shot. Yes! off we went-for Co- it not unlikely that Shuffler, who had lonsay had not been expecting the been fired, and was rather bent in the thunder and lightning quite within knees-to say nothing of her hoofs, an inch of his ear—and gave such a that had been so often pared that side-spang that he unborsed us they reminded us of the feet of a and we unhorsed Sitwell — while Chinese lady of high rank-in comin the shock Shuffler was over- ing down the hill would come down, thrown. Assuredly we had not laid in which event we could not but our account with coming into such contemplate the painful probability rude collision so early in the day, of her breaking at once her own though we looked forward with con- neck, and that of her master. As fidence to much adventure and many for Colonsay, his hoofs were of iron events of that kind during the as well as his shoes. Among his course of the match, and before sun- innumerable accomplishments, he set. Sam was a little stunned, and had never learned the art of stumbthe mare did not seem to like it; ling; and you had but to look at his but having been remounted we gave forehand to know that he would go each other a nod--and again-but not to the grave without ever so much in the same sense-were off! In the as once saying his prayers. Down exultation of the moment, Billy shy. Break-Neck-Brae we came clattered his beaver into the air, which, de- ing, like slates down a roof-Shuffler scribing a parabola in its descent, rather in advance-for we lay by to just shaved Shuffler's nose, and made see the fun, in case of a capsize; and him swerve, till our off and Sam's a capsize there was, and such a capnear leg got rather awkwardly en- size as has sent many an outrider to tangled, but having extricated our kingdom come. After a long sucCossacks from his rowel, we shoved cession of stumbles-the whole sehim off to his own side; then, if notries, however, being in fact but before, it may be safely said was The one long-continued and far-extendStart—and it was manifest to all the ed stumble-during which Sitwell, sporting spectators that the battle though he lost his stirrups, exhibited had begun. From the hubbub we astonishing tenacity-Shuffler, staggathered that with aliens Shuffler had gering as if she had been shot, but rather the call-it might be guineas still going at no despicable speed, to pounds on the mare. We could and struggling to recover herself not choose but smile.
Jike a good one as she was and noFor about a couple of hundred thing else, appeared to our dazzled yards the course was down hill—and optics to fling an absolute somerset, well down hill too-the fall being and to fall over the ditch—at that about a foot in the yard, which, spot fortunately without any thing though considerably off the perpen- that could be called a wall, though dicular, you will find on trial to be there was no want of the materials still farther off the horizontal, at for one-into a field, which we knew least very far indeed from being a by experience to be rather softish ; flat. We had tossed up for the for more falls of man and horse, sechoice of the starting post; and, parately or conjunctly, had occurred having won, with a nice discrimina: at that particular juncture of the tion of the character of the cattle, road—a turn-than along the whole we had fixed on the milestone crown- line, from Kendal to Keswick, and ing the crest of the celebrated Break- far more than the proportional numNeck-Brae. The descent was at all ber of deaths or killings on the VOL. XXXY, NO. CCXXIII.