his heart was not subdued; and wisely reflecting that there was little fear of losing the Captain's society, as he could not call to recollection that the gentleman had ever declined one invitation to the Hall, or hesitated to prolong his stay when there, on the slightest intimation that such a course would be agreeable to its inmates-remembering, too, that he had no reason to suppose Miss Kitty would cease to immortalize the glories of the family, though she were never to become a member of it loath, moreover, to part so soon with his newly acquired liberty-he finally decided, one eventful evening, after losing eight successive, hits to the Captain, and being somewhat annoyed by an incautious expression of the lady's aversion to tobacco, on writing to Mrs Stafford, proposing a cessation of hostilities, and requesting her to resume that station at the head of his household which his unadvised nuptials had formerly induced her to renounce. Rome was not finished in a day, neither was Sir Oliver's epistle; both, however, were, after much toil and labour, completed, and the old butler was despatched to Upper Seymour Street with the letter, which he faithfully delivered into Mrs Stafford's own hands.

My mother was surprised, and a little agitated on perusing its contents. Years had elapsed since she had quitted her native roof, without any expectation of revisiting it; but the cause which banished her thence was now removed, and a feeling, easily conceived, gave her a strong inclination to behold once more those scenes, which, in her early youth, had been her home, her world. Habit and education had indeed combined to estrange her from her brother, more than is usual between members of the same family, even before his ill-assorted marriage; still a sincere, if not a very ardent, affection had ever filled her mind towards him; and, though somewhat quenched by the unfavourable circumstance alluded to, it was by no means extinguished, and she could not but confess to herself, that a reconciliation with him would be most grateful to her. Superadded to this, motives of economy spoke trumpettongued in favour of the measure.

I was now at Westminster, my father engaged in all the perilous scenes of a dangerous and doubtful war. The Honourable Augustus Stafford had lately departed this life, and having long since quarrelled with his younger brother, who had warmly resented some slighting expressions used by him relative to the marriage with my mother, had bequeathed whatever property he possessed to Lord Manningham, who still retained his government in the East. Should any unfortunate event occur to deprive me of a father, Underdown Hall would be a secure asylum for us both; while even at present, with the limited income she was able to command, and the consciousness that all my hopes of a competency must rest upon her ability to save from her own expenses, it was a retreat pointed out to her as well by prudence as inclination-at least till Colonel Stafford's return.

My mother was not long in resolving to accept her brother's invitation, and a communication to that effect speedily conveyed to my uncle the pleasing intelligence, that the proffered olive branch was accepted, while it fixed a day for his long estranged sister's reappearance at the Hall. Thither, in fact, after taking a most affectionate leave of me, she repaired at the appointed time; much, I believe, to the discomfiture of Miss Pyefinch, and the real joy of Sir Oliver, who, after he had got over the little awkwardness of their first interview, scrupled not to declare that he had not felt himself so thoroughly comfortable since their separation.

For myself, I must own I was by no means pleased with my mother's new arrangements, especially when in the ensuing vacation I went to spend six weeks at the Hall. It is true the frank good-humour of my uncle, and the evident pleasure he took in seeing me, soon won my regard in spite of his peculiarities; but I did not like the Captain; I did not like Miss Kitty, who had, however, contrived to make a friend of my mother, and was fast rising in her good graces in proportion as she declined in those of Sir Oliver. This lady's conduct had indeed undergone a considerable alteration

since Mrs Stafford's arrival. Her muse was still prolific, but it was no longer the panegyric of the house of Bullwinkle that formed its exclusive theme. The Baronet was no longer its object; all the poetic artillery of the fair Sappho was levelled at my mother. She sung of the delightful union of two sensitive souls, and the charms of female friendship. My mother smiled. She changed her strain to a recapitulation of all Mrs Stafford's good qualities, attributing to her the excess of every virtue under the sun. My mother frowned. She shifted her ground once more. The subject alike of her lays and her discourse was now the praises and merits of the gallant soldier, who, amidst dangers, difficulties, and death, still thought with fondness on the only object of his affections, and panted for the hour when, his perilous duties all fulfilled, the pains of absence should be more than balanced by the transports of a joyful return to the embraces of his beloved. My mother's flint began to melt, and an affection for me as violent as instantaneous, which seized the good lady the moment I was introduced to her, completed her conquest; she "had never seen so fine or so engaging a boy;" and before the day was over, Mrs Stafford hesitated not to affirm that "Miss Pyefinch was really a very sensible woman, and possessed one of the best hearts in the world." Sir Oliver whistled and left the room, muttering something in an under-tone, which, from the only monosyllable that could be distinctly heard, related in all likelihood to a female greyhound that followed him out of the parlour.

Despite the encomia with which I was overwhelmed by her, I cannot say that the manners of my new friend made a very favourable impression upon me; nay, I must own that with respect to my cousin Nicholas, (whom, by the way, I have too long neglected,) my temper was even more fastidious. In vain did that facetious young gentleman exhibit some of the choicest specimens of his wit for my entertainment; in vain were the most jocose feats of practical ingenuity, feats which convulsed all the grooms and footmen with laughter, brought forward to

amuse me; in vain did he tie the wheel of a post-chaise, which had ' drawn up at a door in the village, to one of the legs of an adjacent fruit stall, and occasion in consequence a most ludicrous subversion of the fragile fabric on the sudden movement of the vehicle, to the utter consternation of a profane old applewoman, who loaded the unknown malefactor with execrations; in vain did he even exercise his humour on my own person, putting drugs of a cathartic quality into my soup, or removing the linch-pins from a pony-chaise which I was fond of driving about the grounds, and thereby occasioning me an unexpected descent from my triumphal car, accomplished with far more of precipitation than grace-still I was so weak as to remain insensible to his merit, and even to look upon these sprightly sallies with some degree of anger. I have little doubt but I must have appeared to him a very dull dog, and should in all probability have soon incurred his supreme contempt, but for an event which, I have reason to imagine, changed in some degree the nature. of his feelings towards me.

The last accounts from Spain had stated the approximation of the two contending armies, and the public journals did not hesitate to speculate on the probability of an approaching engagement. These conjectures derived much additional strength from the contents of private despatches, and, among others, of letters received by my mother from her husband, who, from his situation on Lord

's staff, had good grounds for supposing such a circumstance to be very likely to take place. My mother's anxiety was, of course, extreme; nor could I fail to partake of the same feelings, when one morning, the rest of the family being already assembled at breakfast, my cousin Nicholas, who was usually later than any other of the party, entered the room.

His countenance, unlike its usual expression, was serious, and even solemn; his step slow and hesitating, with a degree of disorder visible in his whole demeanour. He took his seat at the table in silence, and began to occupy himself with his tea-cup, bending down his head, as if with the

intention of shading his face from the observation of the company. My uncle at this moment enquired for the newspaper, the invariable concomitant of his breakfast, and was answered by the butler that he had placed it on the table as usual, before any of the family had come down, except Mr Bullwinkle, whom he thought he had seen engaged in its perusal.

“And, pray, Mr Nick, what have you done with it?" cried Sir Oliver. "I did not know you had been up so early."

"Done with it, sir ?" stammered my cousin," Nothing, sir,—that is, nothing particular. I have left it in my room, I dare say; I can fetch it, if you wish me, sir,-that is-but, perhaps, you will like to read it after breakfast?"--and his eye glanced significantly towards my mother.

Its expression was not to be mistaken. She caught the alarm instantly, and rising from her chair, while her trembling limbs scarce sufficed to bear her weight, and her face turned ashy pale, exclaimed, "There is news from Spain! I am sure of it -and Stafford is killed!"

Her words were electrical, and a simultaneous conviction of their truth blanched every cheek.

"Killed!" returned my cousin Nicholas-" No, my dear aunt-that is, I hope not; but there has been an action, a severe one, and it is as well to be prepared"

Mrs Stafford's worst fears were confirmed; she fainted, and was carried from the room. In the confusion of the moment, no one thought of enquiring into the sad particulars of the disaster that had overwhelmed Sir Oliver first asked the question, and demanded to see the fatal

us.

paper. My cousin immediately complied with the requisition, and produced it from his pocket; saying coolly, as he put it into his father's hand, that "he was sorry to see his aunt so discomposed, as his uncle Stafford might not after all be killed, or even wounded, as his name certainly was not in the list of either the one or the other."

"Not in the list!" roared Sir Oliver. "Then what did you mean, you young rascal, by alarming us all in this manner ?" and stood with an expression of countenance in which joy, surprise, and anger, were most ludicrously commingled; while I, as the conviction that my ingenious cousin had merely been once more indulging his taste for pleasantry flashed upon my mind, sprang forward in the heat of my indignation, and with a tolerably well-directed blow of my arm levelled that jocose young gentleman with the floor.

A yell, shrill and piercing as that of the fabled mandrake when torn by the hand of violence from its parent earth, accompanied his prostration, and the ill-concealed triumph which had begun to sparkle in his eye at the success of his stratagem, gave way to a strong appearance of disgust at this forcible appeal to his feelings. But Sir Oliver, with all his partiality for his heir, was at this moment too angry to take up his cause, and ordered him instantly out of the room, while I hurried off to console my mother with the intelligence that the fears she had been so cruelly subjected to were altogether groundless, and that the affair, to use a frequent and favourite phrase of my cousin Nicholas, was nothing but a jolly good hoax from beginning to end."

I FOUND my mother still suffering severely under the impression that the blood of her beloved husband had mingled with that of many of his brave countrymen in crimsoning the plains of Talavera. Painful as it was to witness her distress, I almost dreaded to inform her that she had been imposed upon, lest the sudden transition from despair to extreme joy, on finding her apprehensions for

his safety entirely groundless, should prove too much for her agitated mind, and plunge her perhaps into a situation still more to be dreaded than that state of insensibility from which she was now beginning slowly to emerge. Fortunately, while I was yet meditating on the best method of conveying the happy news to her with the caution it required, Dr Drench was ushered into the apart

ment. The worthy old butler, on seeing the condition in which his mistress had been borne from the breakfast parlour, had hurried unbidden in search of that gentleman's assistance, and had luckily found him at his own house, scarce a hundred yards distant from the avenue leading to the Hall, in the very act of mounting his galloway in order to pay a visit to a patient. Of course no persuasion was necessary, under the circumstances, to induce him to alter his route for the present; and, having stored his pockets with a profusion of the usual restoratives, a very few minutes brought him to Mrs Stafford's bed-side. Taking him aside to the window, I, in as few words as possible, recounted to him the cause of my mother's sudden indisposition, together with the real state of the case, the assurance of which would, I was persuaded, prove the most effectual remedy for her disorder, and leaving it to his discretion to announce the glad tidings in the manner most befitting the occasion, I retired from the room. The worthy doctor, not being blessed with a very keen relish for the ridiculous, was at first a good deal shocked at my narration, and, in the simplicity of his heart, cursed my cousin Nicholas for " a mischievous young cub," but then, it may be observed in palliation, that he was but a plain man, with very little taste for humour. By his care and skill, however, together with the judicious way in which he communicated to his patient, after a free use of the lancet, the information which had indeed nearly again overwhelmed her, such beneficial effects were produced as to warrant him, on joining us in the parlour below, in holding out the strongest hopes that no ulterior consequences of a more serious nature would attend the execution of my cousin's frolic.

Sir Oliver pressed the doctor strongly to stay and partake of our family dinner; this invitation, however, frankly as it was proffered, he thought fit most positively to decline. Indeed, ever since the surreptitious abduction of his queue, which had taken place on the memorable occasion of the party formerly mentioned, he had been rather shy of committing his person

within the four walls of Underdown Hall, except upon professional emergencies. He had by this time, after infinite care and pains, succeeded in rearing another pigtail to a size and longitude nearly coequal with those of its lamented predecessor, and was therefore, not without reason, especially apprehensive lest the scissors of my cousin Nicholas, scarcely less fatal than those of the Parcæ, might once more subject this his "dulce decus" to the unpleasant ceremony of a divorce. Despite, therefore, the Circæan allurements of a fine haunch of forest mutton, his favourite joint, Dr Drench shook me cordially by the hand, bowed to Sir Oliver and the Captain, and quitted the house.

My uncle, whose love and regard for his sister was, perhaps, greater now than at any former period of his life, was truly rejoiced to find that no seriously ill effects were likely to ensue from what, now his apprehensions were allayed, he again began to consider as a pardonable, though somewhat too lively an ebullition of youthful vivacity; he had even begun to explain to the Captain, for the five hundredth time, what a desideratum it was that "a boy should have a little mischief in him;" the Captain, in no wise relaxing from his customary taciturnity, was very composedly occupying himself in arranging the men upon the backgammon board, neither assenting nor demurring to the proposition he had so often heard laid down by his host before; and I, in that restless, fidgety state of mind which one feels when subsiding agitation has not yet quite sunk into composure, was endeavouring to divert the unpleasant current of my thoughts, by turning over the leaves of the last novel, brought by Miss Kitty Pyefinch from the circulating library at Underdown, when a strange medley of voices and confusion of sounds, portending some new calamity, and proceeding from the outward hall, arrested my attention, caused even the imperturbable Captain to raise his eyes from his game, and drew from Sir Oliver Bullwinkle the abrupt exclamation,— "What the devil's that!"

The sounds evidently and rapidly approached; in a few seconds the parlour door flew open, and a figure,

which, by its general outline, only could be recognised as that of Drench, occupied the vacant space, while the background of the picture was filled up by an assemblage of sundry domestics, bearing clothes, brushes, and rubbers of various descriptions, and exhibiting a set of countenances, in every one of which, respect, and a strong inclination to risibility, manifestly contended for the mastery.

The unexpected appearance of such a phenomenon excited scarcely less surprise and astonishment in my own mind than in that of Sir Oliver, who stood gazing on the apparition with symptoms of the most undisguised amazement, till a voice, broken by passion, and impeded by the mud, which filled the mouth of the speaker, stammered out

"Look here, Sir Oliver! I beg you will look here-this is another of the tricks of your precious son Nicholas-his behaviour is unbearable, he is a pest to the whole neighbourhood, Sir Oliver."

"Why, what on earth is all this about? What is the matter, my good friend?"

"Matter?-the devil's the matter almost dislocating my neck's the matter. I am a plain man, Sir Oliver" No one who looked in poor Drench's face could gainsay the assertion"I am a plain man, and I now tell you plainly, that if you do not curb that young man's propensity to mischief, some time or other he will come to be hanged-only see what a pickle I am in!"

The last sentence was uttered in a lachrymose whine, so different from the highly-raised tone in which the former part of the invective had been pronounced, that my uncle, who had begun to bristle at hearing the lineal heir of Sir Roger de Bullwinkle consigned thus unceremoniously to the superintendence of Mr Ketch, was immediately mollified, and his attention being thus pointedly attracted to the rueful appearance exhibited by the Doctor, his anger was forthwith subdued. Dr Drench was a little punchy figure of a man, standing about five feet nothing, plump and round as a pill; he was placed opposite to Sir Oliver, dilating his height to the very utmost, and if he did not on this occasion add a cubit

to his stature, it was manifestly from sheer inability, and not from any want of inclination; his snuff-coloured coat, black silk waistcoat, and kerseymeres, no longer boasted that unsullied purity in all the pride of which they had quitted Underdown Hall, not half an hour before; a thick incrustation of dark blue mud, agreeably relieved by spots of the most vivid crimson, now covered them with plastic tenacity, rendering their original tints scarcely discernible by the most microscopic eye. Nor had the visage of the unfortunate gentleman escaped much better, since, but for the sanguine current which flowed down the lower part of his face in a double stream, he might not unaptly have been compared to the "Man with the Iron Mask," so completely had the aforesaid incrustation adapted itself to the contour of his features. If Pope's assertion be correct, when, following Ariosto, he pronounces that all things lost on earth are treasured in the moon, the Doctor's well-brushed beaver was, in all probability, by this time safely laid up in that poetic repository, for below it was unquestionably nowhere to be found; its place, however, was supplied by a cap of the same adhesive material as decorated his face and habiliments, affording strong presumptive evidence that whatever portion of his person had first emerged from the ditch he had so lately evacuated, his head had at all events taken precedence on his entry into it. His pig-tail too, that cherished object of his fondest affection, to guard whose sacred hairs from the remotest chance of violation, he had so reluctantly declined the Baronet's proffered cheer, stood forth no longer a splendid specimen of the skill of Humphrey Williams, sole friseur to the village of Underdown, but now exhibited indeed a melancholy resemblance to the real appendage of that unclean animal, from which it had metaphorically derived its designation.

Rueful, indeed, was the aspect of the worthy disciple of Galen, as he bore the scrutinizing gaze of Sir Oliver, who found it very convenient at the same time to have recourse to a family snuff-box usually carried about his person; a mode of proceeding in which he was imitated by the Cap