SOME GERMAN MEDICAL JOKES. From a recent German anthology of wit and humor (Mit Horrohr und Sprintze, Hochstetter und Zehden, Berlin, 1910), we cull the following, the flavor of which will, we hope, be found not too chestnutty by Review readers. A famous professor was addressed by a young physician, noted for his conceit and superficiality: "My dear professor, I owe all my knowledge to you." Professor: "Oh Don't bother to mention such trifles." The Duke of Villiers was famous for his hard-heartedness. When it was reported that he suffered from symptoms of stone, Piron remarked: "His heart must have fallen into his bladder. Heim was a genial soul who practiced in Berlin a century ago, much beloved in all circles for his honesty, good sense and good humor. He said: "The doctor has three faces, that of an angel when the patient sees him at the bedside bearing hope of relief; that of a god when relief has been given; that of a devil when he sends his bill." Being called to a certain countess, he began in his offhand way: "Well, my dear, what seems to be the matter?" The patient, offended by his lack of formality, said in a haughty tone: "Sir! I am a countess." "Well, my dear," said Heim, "I am afraid I can't do anything for that," and left the house. Heim was a great friend of arsenic. Hufeland reproached him with what he considered to be his too free use of the drug. "What would you do if the Lord should call you to account for the harm you may have done with it?" Tapping Hufeland on the shoulder Heim answered: "I should say, my dear fellow, that is something you do not understand." When direct transfusion was first proposed Volkman considered it a dangerous experiment and opposed it vigorously, saying that for the operation three animals were necessary: A sheep to get the blood from, a goat to give it to and a jackass to carry out the performance. Chapellier relates that having made two laparotomies on a patient, he found that he had left a pair of scissors in the abdomen, and was obliged to open it a third time. While putting in the closing sutures the patient waked up and said: "Say, doctor, what's the use of sewing me up? Why don't you put on some buttons?" A wealthy patient came to Thiersch, in Leipzig, saying that as he had been advised to have an operation, and money was no object, he wanted to go to some good surgeon in Paris, and would Prof. Thiersch be good enough to recommend someone to him. "Certainly," said Thiersch, "go to Doyen." "Is it necessary to have a special letter?" "Oh, no," said Thiersch, "you simply go up and say to Doyen that you need an operation, and he will say: "Where do you live?" You say: "Leipzig," and he will say, "You damn jackass! Why didn't you go to Thiersch?" was. Hyrt asked a candidate for an M. D. what the function of the spleen After some thought the student said: "Well, professor, I did know, but I have forgotten it." "Unhappy soul!" said Hyrtl. "The only man in the world to know the function of the spleen and now you have forgotten it." Dupuytren performed a difficult operation on a rich man and the latter died. A nephew who had inherited a good part of the fortune visited the surgeon and was so fulsome in his appreciation of the skill displayed by Dupuytren that the latter lost his patience and blurted out: you happen to want my services for another uncle?" "Say! Do H. G. WESTERN MEDICAL REVIEW Per Published Monthly by WESTERN MEDICAL REVIEW COMPANY, Omaha, Nebr. Annum, $2.00. The WESTERN MEDICAL REVIEW is the Journal of the Wyoming State Medical Society and is sent by order of the Society to each of its members. OFFICERS: Dr. A. G. HAMILTON, Thermopolis, President DR. W. H. ROBERTS, Cheyenne, Secretary All matter for publication in this section should be sent to FRED W. PHIFER, M. D., Editor, Wheatland, Wyo. COLLABORATORS-SUBJECT TO REVISION. Pestal, Joseph. Douglas; Keith, M. C.; Casper; Marshall, T. E., Sheridan; Neisen, N. D.; Shoshoni; Wicks, J. L., Evanston; Wiseman, Letitia, Cheyenne; Young, J. H., Rock Springs. Vol. XVI. CHEYENNE, WYO., JULY, 1911. Puerperal Eclampsia. No. 7 Dr. E. Gustav Sinke of Cincinnati, Ohio, read a paper on this subject in which he drew the following conclusions: First-All cases of puerperal eclampsia were not alike; much depended upon the exten to which the kidneys and liver were involved. The so-called malignant form, as the term implied, was fatal from the beginning. The so-called benign variety ended in recovery sometimes in spite of the treatment adopted. The variety of mean gravity was without doubt favorably influenced in its course by careful and judicious treat ment. Second-The prognosis for both mother and child was much worse when the convulsions supervened during pregnancy, the maternal mortality ranging between 35 to 50 per cent; the foetal mortality between 65 and 75 per cent. The prognosis of intrapartum convulsions was more favorable, maternal as well as foetal, and amounted to about 25 per cent. The maternal mortality of postpartum convulsions was, as a rule, about 7 per cent. In his own experience, having had but two cases, it was 50 per cent. Third-The most important treatment of puerperal convulsions was prophylaxis before the appearance of symptoms as well as before the eclamptic attacks when prodromal signs existed. The patient must be protected from injury during the convulsions and the duration and frequency of the parox ysms should be controlled and abbreviated medicinally rather than surgically. Veratrum viride in sufficiently large doses was the remedy par excellence to reduce the blood pressure and the pulse frequency. Hot baths and hot packs, judiciously employed, and free but not excessive catharsis, strict milk diet and the recumbent position were of almost equal importance. Fourth-Chloral in large doses per rectum, if the patient was very restless during the interval of the attacks, was a splendid remedy. Chloroform inhalations, especially if of long duration, should be regarded as a source of great danger. The same might be said of frequent and large doses of morphia, both of these drugs having their ardent advocates. Fifth-The antitoxin treatment (the thyroid, parathoyroid extract and nephrine) might play an important part in the future in the treatment of eclampsia. Sixth-Saline and sugar water instillations could do no harm and might do a great deal of good. Seventh-If, of late years, the maternal mortality of puerperal eclampsia had been reduced at all, it was the direct result of careful prophylaxis and intelligent medical care. Surgery had contributed nothing to it. The dictum, "assist in labor, but do not induce it," or "treat the convulsion and let the pregnancy take care of itself," was better than the dictum, "empty the uterus as soon as possible in every case of puerperal convulsions, no matter what the period of gestation." Eighth-Decapsulation of the kidneys, manual, balloon and metal dilation, especially the old time accouchement force, were in the opinion of the author hardly justifiable and should have no place in the treatment of puerperal eclampsia. Ninth-If, however, the symptoms were very threatening and the medical care above described failed to bring about promptly an amelioration in the patient's condition, an early delivery might be desirable. If the patient be near term, but not in labor, the conservative Caesarean section should be selected. If the patient was just within the period of viability, vaginal hysterotomy was the proper procedure. If the foetus was not viable before the end of the sixth month of gestation deep cervical incisions would easily relieve the uterus quickly of its contents. Tenth-No one had a right to perform any of these three operations unless experienced and familiar with the technique of each and in every instance the patient should have the benefit of strict asepsis. Without these requirements it was best to rely entirely upon the medical care above outlined. A JOURNAL OF MEDICINE AND SURCERY Published Monthly by Western Medical Review Company, Omaha, Nebr. Per Annum, $2.00. The Western Medical Review is the journal of the Nebraska State Medical Association and is sent by order of the Association to each of its members. Anderson, A. B., Pawnee City Von Mansfelde, A. S., Ashland Hopkins, S. R., Hastings Artz, C. V. Hastings. Coats, A. J., Fairbury. Vol. XVI. McConaughy, R., York. McDonald, R. C., Fremont. Pickett. I. N., Odell. Quigley, D. T., North Platte. Talbot, W. E., Broken Bow. OMAHA, NEB., AUGUST, 1911. EDITORIAL. A Roster of the State Association. No. 8 On the suggestion of the president of the state association, Dr. Nesbit, the Review will publish, in the near future, as complete a list of the officers and members of the state association as can be obtained. It is the intention to publish the membership by counties and to give the name of the president and secretary of each county organized or, where several counties are combined, the officers of the combined organization. The object is to secure a working basis for a campaign having for its object the enlisting of every eligible physician in the state in the ranks of the local and state society and ultimately in the national association when a working plan, has been perfected. We earnestly request every physician occupying any official position in his local or state society to see that his organization and its officers are reported to the secretary, Dr. A. D. Wilkinson, as soon as possible, if not already reported, that the list when published may be as complete as possible. The roster will probably be published separate from the Review pages, so that it may be kept for reference by all who wish information regarding the organization of the medical profession in Nebraska. The Habits of College Boys. Attention has often been drawn to the fact that college students who smoke do not, as a rule, attain a high scholastic rank. Smoking is undoubtedly among other things a luxury, and those who are single minded enough to bend all their energies upon their studies will forego that distraction as well as theater going and other relaxations less harmful, and thus inevitably surpass the young men who find other things in college life than lectures and books. The average college boy is satisfied to take an average place in his classes and fails to see why more should be demanded of him, just as the ordinary adult is satisfied with a place in the ranks. Smoking is a symptom rather than a cause of the contemplative, so called lazy, habit of mind. It is, however, an ugly habit in youth; a huge pipe hanging from the lips of a young man in the street looks weak, absurd and out of place. Drinking, too, is more than unnecessary to a boy. Tobacco belongs with alcohol to middle age, with its beginning impairment to the nervous system, at which period the milder narcotics have their value in conserving energy and preventing waste. Even if there was no direct soothing effect, these agents, by compelling, for their indulgence, a certain amount of rest from concentrated work, relax the strain upon brain and body that might otherwise lead to a quicker breakdown. A young man, however, indulging in alcohol and tobacco is unconsciously confessing to a premature degeneration, and the college ideal should be such as to frown down absolutely any immature weakness of the sort. |