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I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Vio. You mistake, sir: I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any
Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal.
Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he?
Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is his word; givet or take't.
Vio. I will return again into the house, and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valor: belike, this is a man of that quirk.
Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury; therefore get you on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me, which with as much safety you might answer him; therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked: for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you.
Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose.
Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return. [Exit Sir TOBY. Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal abitrement; but nothing of the
Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he?! Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valor. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria: Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can.
Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeunt.
Re-enter Sir TOBY with Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in, with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on: They say he has been fencer to the Sophy.
Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: bian can scarce hold him yonder.
the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will not hurt you.
Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. [Aside.
Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honor's sake, have one bout with you: he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath! [Draws. Enter ANTONIO.
Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will.[ Draws.
Enter two Officers.
Fab. O good sir Toby, hold; here come the officers.
Sir And. Marry, will I, sir;-and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He will bear you easily, and reins well.
1 Off. This is the man, do thy office.
You do mistake me, sir.
1 Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favor well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.Take him away; he knows, I know him well.
Ant. I must obey.- This comes with seeking
But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.
2 Off. Come, sir, away.
Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money.
For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,
Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him dammed ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet.
Sir To. I'll make the motion: Stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the perdition of souls. Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you. [Aside.
Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA.
I have his horse [To FAB.] to take up the quarrel;
Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and
1 Stoccato, an Italian term in fencing.
I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death;
1 Off. What's that to us? The time goes by:
Ant. But, 0, how vile an idol proves this god!·
Ant. Lead me on. [Exeunt Officers with ANT.
a Laws of duel.
SCENE I.-The Street before Olivia's House. Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown.
Clo. Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?
Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee.
Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.Nothing that is so, is so.
Seb. I pr'ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else; Thou know'st not me.
Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady: Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming?
Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish greek, depart from me; There's money for thee; if thou tarry longer, I shall give worse payment.
Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand:These wise men that give fools money, get them selves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir TOBY and FABIAN. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. [Striking SEBASTIAN. Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there: Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house.
Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence.
Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding SEB. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Seb. Let go thy hand.
Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on.
Seb. I will be free from thee. What wouldst
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house;
Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream?
O, say so, and so be!
SCENE II-A Room in Olivia's House.
Enter MARIA and Clown.
Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe thou art sir Topas, the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the [Exit MARIA.
Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man and a great scholar. The competitorss enter.
Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA.
Sir To. Jove bless thee, Master Parson.
of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is; so I, being master parson, am master parson; For what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, sir Topas.
Clo. What, hoa I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. [In an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Malvolio, the lunatic. Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady.
Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson.
Mal. Sir Topas, never was a man thus wronged: good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness.
Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark?
Mal. As hell, sir Topas.
Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the southnorth are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction?
Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark.
Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.
Mal.. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question.
Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl?
Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion?
Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas,-.
Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas!
Mar. Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown; he sees thee not.
Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir TOBY and MARIA. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin.
Tell me how thy lady does.
Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy. · Mal. Fool,
Clo. Alas, why is she so?
Mal. Fool, I say;
Clo. She loves another. Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for 't.
Clo. Master Malvolio! Mal. Ay, good fool.
Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you beside your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused; I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well! then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool.
Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits.
Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavor thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.
to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did.
Clo. I will help you to 't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit? Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I pr'ythee be gone.
I am gone, sir,.
Pll be with you again,
In a trice;
Like to the old vice
Who with dagger of lath,
Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; This pearl she gave me, I do feel 't and see 't: And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then? I could not find him at the Elephant: Yet there he was; and there I found his credit, That he did range the town to seek me out. His counsel now might do me golden service: For though my soul disputes well with my sense, That this may be some error, but no madness, Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune So far exceed all instance, all discourse, That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me To any other trust, but that I am mad, Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, She could not sway her house, command her folTake, and give back, affairs and their despatch, With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing, As, I perceive, she does: there's something in 't, That is deceivable. But here comes the lady.
Enter OLIVIA and a Priest.
Oli. Blame not this haste of mine; If you mean well,
Now go with me, and with this holy man,
Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with you;
That they may fairly note this act of mine!
Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my toes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes.
Duke. Why, this is excellent.
Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends.
Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold.
Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could make it another.
Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.
Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it.
Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer; there's another.
Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind: One, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further.
Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come again. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but as you say, sir, let your bounty take [Exit Clown. a nap, I will awake it anon.
Enter ANTONIO and Officers.
Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me. Duke. That face of his I do remember well; Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war: A bawbling vessel was he captain of, For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable; With which such scathful grapple did he make With the most noble bottoin of our fleet, That very envy, and the tongue of loss, Cry'd fame and honor on him. What's the matter? 1 Of. Orsino, this is that Antonio, That took the Phoenix, and her fraught
And this is he, that did the Tiger board,
Vio. He did me kindness, sir; drew on my side;
Duke. Notable pirate! thou sait-water thief! What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies, Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear, Hast made thine enemies!
Orsino, noble sir,
Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you give me ;
How can this be? Duke. When came he to this town?
Vio. My lord would speak, my duty hushes me. Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord, It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear, As howling after music.
Still so cruel ? Oli. Still so constant, lord. Duke. What! to perverseness! you uncivil lady, To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars My soul the faithfull'st offerings hath breath'd_out, That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall become him.
Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to do it,
I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love,
Oli. Where goes Cesario?
After him I love,
Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguild!
Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long?. Call forth the holy father. Exit an Attendant. Duke. Come away. TO VIOLA. Oli. Whither, my lord? -Cesario, husband, stay. Duke. Husband?
Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence,
Strengthened by interchangement of your rings;
I have travell'd but two hours.
Duke. O thou dissembling cub! what wilt thou be, Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months when time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case?
(No interim, not a minute's vacancy,)
Both day and night did we keep company.
Enter OLIVIA and Attendants.
Duke. Here comes the countess; now heaven walks on earth.——
Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow,
• Dull, gross.
Sir And. He has broke my head across, and has given sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of Gol, your help: I had rather than forty pound, I were at home.
Oli. Who has done this, sir Andrew?
Sir Ana. The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate.
Duke. My gentleman, Cesario!
Sir And. Od's lifelings, here he is:- You broke my head for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to do't by sir Toby.
Vio. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you: You drew your sword upon me, without cause; But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not.
Sir And. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me; I think, you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb.
Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, drunk, led by the Clown. Here comes sir Toby halting, you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you othergates than he did.
Duke. How now, gentleman? How is't with you? Sir To. That's all one; he has hurt me, and there's the end on't.-Sot, did'st see Dick surgeon,
Clo. O he's drunk, sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes were set at eight i' the morning.
Sir To. Then he's a rogue. After a passy-measure, or a pavin; I hate a drunken rogue.
Oli. Away with him: Who hath made this havoc
Sir And. I'll help you, sir Toby, because we'll be dressed together.
Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a coxcomb, and a knave! a thin-faced knave, a gull! Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to. [Exeunt Clown, Sir ToвY and Sir ANDREW.
Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul! He finished, indeed, his mortal act That day that made my sister thirteen years. Vio. If nothing lets to make us happy both, But this my masculine usurp'd attire, Do not embrace me, till each circumstance Of place, time, fortune, do cohere, and jump, That I am Viola: which to confirm, I'll bring you to a captain in this town, Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help I was preserv'd, to serve this noble count: All the occurrence of my fortune since Hath been between this lady and this lord. Seb. So comes it, lady, you have been mistook: [TO OLIVIA. But nature to her bias drew in that. You would have been contracted to a maid; Nor are you therein, by my life, deceived, You are betroth'd both to a maid and man. Duke. Be not amaz'd; right noble is his blood.— If this be so, as yet the glass seems true, I shall have share in this most happy wreck: Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times,
Thou never shouldst love woman like to me.
Give me thy hand;
They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract. Re-enter Clown, with a Letter.
From my remembrance clearly banish'd his.— A most extracting frenzy of mine own
How does he, sirrah?
Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do: he has here writ a letter to you; I should have giv
Seb. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kins- en it to you to-day morning; but as a madman's
But had it been the brother of my blood,
I must have done no less, with wit, and safety.
You throw a strange regard upon me, and
By that I do perceive it hath offended you;
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows
We made each other but so late ago.
epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much, when they are delivered.
Oli. Open it, and read it.
Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the fool delivers the madman:- By the Lord, madam,Oli. How now, art thou inad?
Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your
Duke. One face, one voice, one habit, and two ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must
A natural perspective, that is, and is not.
How have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me,
Ant. Sebastian are you?
Fear'st thou that, Antonio? Ant. How have you made division of yourself? An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian? Oli. Most wonderful!
Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a brother:
Vio. And died that day when Viola from her birth Had number'd thirteen years.
[TO FABIAN. Fab. [Reads. By the lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and Speak out of my injury. The madly used