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We All Know Him Once there was an old goat that tried to pass himself off for a sheep.
The watchful shepherd at once detected the imposture.
He killed the goat. But he sold the flesh for mutton.-Chicago Tribune.
“Oh, I am as old as I look," smiled Miss
mnood as I look" smiled Miss Dobbson.
"Really?” said Fribley. "I'm astonished. You really don't look it, you know.”—Harper's Weekly.
Hard to Please "What is Bliggin's grievance against the railroad company?" "He has two grievances; one is that some of the trains don't stop at his station, and the other that after he gets on board the train loses time by stopping at other stations.”—Washington Star.
Usually So "I HAVE difficulty in satisfying my wife. She has a thousand wants."
“I have difficulty in satisfying mine, and she has only one want.”
“What is it?"
The Only Joy There Was In It HE-Let us keep our engagement a secret for at least six months.
She-A secret? The only reason I got engaged to you was that I thought it would be nice to have my picture on the society page.
Justice at Last BREATHLESS URCHIN — “You're — wanted — dahn-our-court-and bring a hamb’lance."
POLICEMAN—“What do you want the ambulance for?"
URCHIN—“Muvver's found the lidy wot pinched our doormat!"-Punch.
Erratic Popular Taste "Young man," said the woman at the ticket office, "why don't you answer me when I ask you whether this is a moral and proper show ?"
"Because," answered the theater treasurer frankly, “I'm not a good enough judge of human nature to know which way to answer without losing a customer."—Washington Star.
Located ONE OF THE STRIKERS—"I've lost me best hat-pin, Lizzie !"
ANOTHER—“Where did vou leave it last?”
THE FIRST—"I left it sticking in that scab, Rachel Lispinsky!”—Puck.
The Virtuoso on the Farm New BOARDER—"Haven't you got any fancy dishes here?”
RURAL LANDLORD—"Sure thing! Mame, bring the gentleman that mustache-cup your grand
HOW TO HOLD AN ALLIGATOR crocodile, on the banks of the Nile and
also along the Ganges. These creatures A LLIGATOR catching is a strange live to a great age, many in the East
> occupation. The commercial value being known to be 500 years old, and of these strange reptiles is, of course, by the tremendous strength which they their skins, and for this reason quite a can exert when occasion calls for it, one small army of men hunt them regularly would imagine that the older they live not only in Florida but their cousins, the the stronger they grow. Besides an un
usual amount of pluck and resource in BRICKS FROM VOLCANIC handling the alligator, one needs to have
LAVA a keen eye and a quick hand. To secure your animal you must grip it instantly A PLANT for the manufacture of and then keep its jaws closed. As one n bricks to be made of lava is now alligator catcher remarked, “to hold the being erected near Honolulu, Sandwich same jaws open would be an experience Islands, under the direction of J. Rice, gained too late to be of use." For the of San Francisco, Cal., and will be in alligator in its native land is not, as it readiness for active service within less appears to be, safely imprisoned at the than two months from date. zoo, a sleepy and slow-moving creature, It is the expectation of the promoters but very quick and lively in all its move to be able to contract with the United ments.
States government to furnish lava bricks
CHAMPION SNAKE KILLERS
icans, are the curious pair of secre-
A Natty New SUFFRA-
The Secretary BIRD
DROPS 100 FEET
A remarkable claim is made that a
WORKMAN FELL FROM
TOP AND LIVED.